Tess - Hello Poetry

Oct 2018

Bartholomew

I’m supposed to be strong for everyone including you. But whose supposed to be strong for me?
Guess I don’t need anyone’s help.
I cry but incognito, can’t allow anyone to see these tears.
I’ll wipe them away myself.

Push it to the back of my mind, all the way in the rear.
I’m afraid to share my emotions so I numb it all away, cage my depression, bury my fears.

Can’t trust anyone cuz one day they’ll be gone, they leave as they usually do, I tell myself I can’t be mad.
So sometimes I leave them before they leave me, Every man for himself right? I learned that from my dad.

My biological..... wherever he is in this reality
I’m on my own. A solitary mentality

The abnormal normality

#normal #normality #abnormal #alone #mentality #solitaire

Tess Oct 2018

Relapse.

I'm sorry
I've done it again.

They forced me to,
The voices in my head

Telling me I'm not enough
Worthless and a burden

No one's going to love me
And there isn't any point in trying.

They told me to
Go back to my blade

And seek comfort in the pain.
And that's what I did.

As I held my blade in my hand,
I felt the beautiful feeling of home.

Old memories fogged my mind,
The beauty of carving my skin and the pain that followed

It's an addiction
And also a hard one to get over.

I had a relapse tonight. But I enjoyed the pain. It helped me forget reality.

Tess Oct 2018

I'm an artifact.

When I tell people that I used to self harm,
They ask to look at my scars.

They examine my arm,
Like I'm an artifact at a museum

They pretend to understand
But they never will

They will never know,
The true history behind this artifact.

They will never understand It's worth,
Until one day,

It's stolen.
Snatched away from this world forever.

Oct 2018

Logun Alexander Johnson

Sick

Sick of people.
Sick of life.
Sick of being sick.

Still slightly sick, but I'm back.

Oct 2018

eileen

something should work

I'm not depressed
I'm just sad
I'm not drowning
I'm falling so slowly
walls around me crumbling
I'm fine
I don't cry
I'm not questioning my reality
I will not scream
losing faith in me
hands shaking
retracing my steps
clouds walking west
most people never understand
my girlfriends don't understand
he won't understand

a bird
a tree
a cloud
a feeling

the moments of
reckless behavior
when no one
is watching me

I want to stay here
in the corner of my mind
it's always sunny
with slow breathing

Tess Oct 2018

Sun and Moon

The sun shines bright
And so does the moon.

But the sun hides behind the moon,
And helps in shining light on the dark

They work together,
To keep us in light

To never let us experience darkness.
Because they know,

They've seen things,
Felt things.

But whatever it is that they saw,
They do not wish for us to experience it.

Because they think we deserve light,
And not the dead dark.