You know that feeling where one moment you're happy and the next you're sad and your throat hurts and you remember that one glimpse where you could do anything the sun was shining you just bought a poetry book and watched a royal wedding and found some really swell gloves at a garage sale and a parasol that you can fan when it rains and when it rains it pours wondering if anyone actually will read this or understand this Read this? Understand this? What's the future, someone tell me the future, I'm trying to grasp it with music but there's only so much a guitar can do or maybe a guitar's bound is limitless but its the person that can't do much and there's music playing and I want to feel passion but I can't trust my feelings because they're dusty and tinted and they always fool me and right now, right now, I just want to snuggle with my cat while wondering while wandering while thinking deeply and is it obvious I'm an introvert? Just trust God doesn't work here Just count on Him - He's in control I know I know I know and yet, do I? I can't trust my feelings but I can trust the love I can trust the sky I can trust the fact that I just need to hand it over to him Who's Reading this? Who can understand it? Me I don't need to please anyone I just need to please myself I'm wondering if that's possible I'm wondering I'm wandering I'm lost wait a day I'll be Found

I am not an artist
I cannot paint a beautiful landscape that makes you believe you're looking at the real thing.
You will not stare in awe as you wonder what compelled me to paint those lines so uneven
And I can't make my color choices dance in your eyes like sugarplum fairies
Off of the canvas and into your mind
For you to transpose the choreography
To your own understanding

I am not an artist
I cannot capture a single moment in time with the simple click of a camera.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words but every shot I capture seems to be silent
Mute
But they're beginning to be heard
Screaming millions of words
Hoping someone will just hear one

I am not an artist
I cannot make your skin shiver as my lyrics echo through the room
Your emotions will not crescendo as each note burns nostalgia in your memory
And I will not leave you wanting to hear more

I am not an artist
And I can't create a masterpiece in two hours
I can't write words that will break your heart as they enter your ears and fill your soul with the emotions I'm feeling
I can't make you believe that I'm actually the character
I tried so hard to become at rehearsals for the last three months
My movements on the dance floor dont flow with ease or grace
And you will never give me a standing ovation
Or shower me with roses as you cheer for the art I've created.

But
With every step that I take on this earth
I am leaving brush strokes in the dirt and in your memory
Every laugh
every sob
every word that I speak
Is going through your ears for your own musical enjoyment
My eyes are like cameras capturing every moment and every face each time my lashes flutter
And even though most of we don't have photographic memories
We still remember the precious moments our personal cameras caught on film

I am not an artist
I am art

We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love

I don't know why I keep dreaming about you
Every night, a different place, a different face, and yet I chase and yet you're there
And we talk and we laugh and you're there
Why?
I don't need you
I told myself I let you go, that you were fading like the muted colour of a tapestry that never should've been woven in the first place
I told myself I was through
With you
So why won't you leave?
You've gotten a hold of my dreams, moonlight streaming by the eaves
I'm used to it now
I look forward to it now
We're such friends at night, something I never knew during the day
We're secure at night, something I never felt during the day
I wonder if, one night in salty dreamland, you won't be there
You'll leave - never return
Will I miss you?
I've been dreaming about you - I must somehow have a connection
Still
Like there's a string in me that's subconsciously connected to you
I wonder
Are you dreaming of me?
And why
Do I even care?

A moment
Otherwise commonplace

Then
The door swings open
And a word is unenthused - a welcome
"Rosaline" - It's Rosaline's father who is hanging by the back door, clad in a raincoat with palpable raindrops

He's holding something
Small, oval shaped
"It's an egg," he says "A duck egg"

Rose ventures closer, not believing him
She's fond of nature and herb remedies
She sees the gel-like substance, void of protective shell, a faint orange block bobbing ever so slightly inside

She topples to the floor in disbelief
Smiling, grinning, actually, at the discovering

She's also wary

It's fragile

We all come closer
Rose rests a fingertip on the squishy egg
She exclaims, "It's heartbeat. I can feel it's heartbeat."

Its heart is weak, but it's still miraculous to feel

How? Can someone excuse life when they feel it in their fingertips?

The duck inside will one day hatch, soon
I believe it will thrive despite the cold

It will grow, and chirp, and flounder

But it is life

We could not bear to see the elementary duckling die

Because once you've touched life
You long for nothing else