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Bianca Jul 2017
today i went to a therapist
with all my answers rehearsed
and i didn't say "good afternoon"
instead, i told her i'm sorry
that i was going to waste her time -
and the walls of that beautiful room
listened to me for the first time
talking about

how rarely i remember to take a shower
(and i do it only when i stink)
how ashamed i feel that i laugh too much
(but it was only to please people)
how embarrasing is to say that i was *****
(but i also wanted attention from them)
how dizzy i feel when i'm in a crowded place
(i've always thought that i'm autistic)
how merciless overthinking can be
(and it plays in my head like a broken record)

and i started crying
Bianca Jul 2017
wanderers of our days
black and misty
who don't cry when
nobody has a kind word for them
why are we?
our life is a burning hole
and they live in the matchbook
where souls made of alcohol
are on fire
what do they do now?
but nobody knows
where those poor taverns fell
Bianca Jul 2017
i'm honest this morning, more honest than yesterday
i want other twinges in my heart, please
just like the ones that i already have
and walk away from where i'm standing now
it's time for you to wield those words
they're heavy, they're lead - it's easy
just turn around and look at that sunset
and for those who don't like metaphors
turn your back on me
and be patient until i take my weapon
i just want to see it in the light
(it's dark over here, in my corner)

we can start a dreamy war today
Bianca Jul 2017
you told me that what goes around comes around
but if it comes around so rarely
just like my own happiness
it means that you can live in sin today
and i don't have the one of victimisation
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