I was breathless
And you were formless
I watched as you were named
And felt the trees grow
The roots reaching
The twisted limbs
The dancing leaves
I was the soil and you were the seed
Nothing but a soul and rain
That was the way we began our journey
You were shouting
A rose from your throat
I dreamt of the sky
While I slept in caves
Facing gaping holes
And creatures
That was the way we began our journey
The band plays
And the music falls heavy on me
The way these angels
Bring me to my knees
So easily

Now be drunk
Of her great promise
She sits on waters
And rides a beast
She knows only flesh
And pleasures
The waters she sits on
The beast she rides
Are nations
Are multitudes
Are people
Are tongues
She wears purple
And in her grasp
A golden chalice
Filled with only souls demise
And in her crown you feel its greatness
In her esteem you find its joy
Yet in her filth of desecration
You find it's only hell
Do not follow her
Who would lift you with unsavory hands
Do not fornicate
Do not share your godly flesh
She is drunk off the blood
High on disease
Hateful and wretched
And wicked in ways
This ***** of Babylon
May share with you of salt
Her touch a sinful lust
And her wine intoxicates
But when the time draws high
You will share in her plague

Yes she's gone
She's gone away
What was said
What can I say

And how do I feel?

Yes she's gone
Gone from me
What I believe
What do I see

And what does it mean?

I see the world
Something to gain in this loss
A forward moving dream
The world is waiting for me

I say the world
Its in my words
And in my sorrow-stricken thoughts
The world will bring me joy

Its only what I choose
And what do I lose?
Yes she's gone
But I still have the world

There is no truth
As the numbers all add up
The sky is it's own reward
I cannot hear the voices telling me
And I never could believe

The air is bitter
But the breath is sweet
And the sun may rise for me to find
I cannot dream the way I want
I can never fall asleep

There is no truth
Only me
And you are

There is no truth
And there could never be

I'll love you more in one night
Than all the other guys
Combined in your life
Making love
And *******
Sweet and tender
Hard and raw
However you want

I want to know how you feel
My hands don't just touch
They leave a mark
When I touch you softly
I'll always be with you
But I'm leaving when I'm done
There is a sun I have to follow
But tonight I gave you light

Ill love you more in one night
Loving every salt of your skin
Looking into your eyes
Heavy breathing
Then I'll fold you up like a lawn chair
Toss you around like a ragdoll
Pick you up
And ******* against a wall

I want to know how you taste

They say keep your head up
They say its one step at a time
But if your head is held too high
How can you be sure
The next step you take
Is onto solid ground?

I don't want you to fall down

They say life is crazy
They say death unavoidable
they say a lot of things
But I've never heard them say
They only want
Everyone to be happy

I don't want you to fall down

Im surrounded by empty cigarette packs
       and you think that you're a poet
I drink because its the only way I know how
To deal with this reality
       and you think that you're a poet


I'll be dead-broke and dying
No hope left
Still ******* words that mean nothing
And have hope
Without the slightest clue as to why
God
Or just man would understand
that there is a happy end
When there isn't

I'll have hope
Even after I lose and the implode
and you think that you're a poet

How am I alive?

My third eye stings from staring at Suns
Pineal gland open and gods voice
What's life
What's life?
I will bring with me my guitar
And find some lonesome hill
Where only madmen have trod before
And I'll play myself a song
I'll sing
What's life
What's life?!
What's death?
My eyes can read
What the ancients said
My third eye knows
What it means

This could be a song
Forever I can't sing
Because I'm tired
I can't sing
So I speak
As though I have something to say

This could be a joy
Forever I can't smile
Because I'm tired
I can't smile
Still I try
As though I was made to enjoy the world

This could be a life
Forever I am dying
Because I'm tired
I can't live
But I'm alive
As though these things I touch I feel

This is a song
An original thought
I best jot down
Because it's a one time only
Once it goes its gone for good
This is a sale
Buyer be there
But buyer beware
Because when planning and scheming
Morals lose their meaning
This is a joke
That's still funny
But has lost its charm
A one line communication
And were waiting for the punchline
This it is
And nothing less
And something hidden
The longing, and wanting, and frustrating desire
And the chance to see through illusion

And find the meaning

I can see why
People don't believe in love
I'm losing my faith

Because sometimes the sparrow won't sing

I can see why
People can't forgive transgressions
I feel this pain

Because sometimes the clouds don't break

I can see why
People feel such sorrow
I see the color

Because sometimes the only trees that grow
Are willows

Let it die
And let it swallow me with it
No escape, I dig with spades
I scrape my knees on asphalt
And live in empty streets
In my mind
I have a fist-fight with Auden
And as he's bleeding he's making money
A mockery of my divine art
He's in the textbook
And I am dying
In my eyes
The sun has lost all meaning
No true light, but neon signs
****** who walk the block
Glamour dolls bedecked with rouge
Make-up to cover scars
We call beautiful
Despite ourselves

You live inside a box
And I can repeat words
Mad Mad Mad
paper can't survive the flood
An old man
Man man man
man
Deny the works
And suffer worms
You were taught to love dirt
Become slaves
Embrace the hurt
I shine a light of truth
And I would die for my cause
I sacrifice myself
To save you
But you know only to save the pain
I die in vain
A martyrs death
I give it all until nothings left
And nothings right
There is no way I can prove
This is too good for you

God
******

Everyone has something to say
How can I say it better
So that people don't just hear
They really listen

Its a long hard road I traverse
With potholes and stop signs
I will not yeild
I know my destination

So as I'm saying now
Full of doubt and apprehension
If I can't say it best
I'll say as best I can

Its a long hard road to travel
And people are strange
And I'm a stranger
I know my destination

And I won't say so loud
But I'll say it with conviction
I don't care if you hear
I want for you to listen

The war that's being fought
Is being fought at home
Its on the TV screen
Its in the food and the drink

Its a battle for your money
Your time
Your soul

The war that I fight
Is within me
Its in my thoughts
My actions

And I don't expect anyone to understand
My mind
My soul

I don't want it to be this way
I don't want to be this way

The fire we use as light
Becomes the thing that burns us

I don't want it to feel this way
I don't want to feel this way

The fruits of the spring
Left rotting in the shadows

And the loving man
Becomes a ghost
Because he could love the most
he would suffer through this life
And the next one

I don't want it to be this way
I don't want to be this way

Where the tears that I cry
Became an ocean you can drown in

Tooth of a dog
Sign of the ram
Forced to walk as I am
Broken
History

Cobblestone

No longer bleeding into gardens
Overflowing Rhododendron
I wish I were
Where the flowers bloom

Eye of the goat
Horn of the bull
Made to walk as I've become
Damaged
Future

Concrete

Finding parking lots and empty streets
Where I can bleed
I wish I were
Where the flowers bloom

This winter's cold
A knife in a hand
A sinister face
Crooked and strange
I see no stars within her eyes
No love from on her tongue
I watch the sunrise turn away
She's growing colder everyday

I witness

This winter's cold
Is battle pain
A war without meaning
An unwelcomed fate
Its been so long since I heard the song
Now the voice is gone forever
December silent dread
And the last words that she said
We're cruel and unforgiving

What if I have nothing to say?
What if my muse has gone away,
Taking her sweet breath that gave wind to my wings?
Her being the only reason I'll ever fly

What if I have nothing to say?
Nothing to explain?
No pleasure or plan
Only numbness growing as a shadow on my soul

What if?

These words are my tools
And I have complete control
Mastery
My game is playing with sound
My perfection is seen upon a page
What if?
Even with these tools
These nails that scratch your skin
My mallet the thunderous hammer of Thor
My ***** driving into your thoughts
My wrenching of your emotions
I could not build a thing
Only destroy

What if?

It could turn quite ugly

Luckily
We won't have to worry about that today
Because my muse stays
She loves me
Even if she can't show me plainly
She does
Its just


Its just complicated
That's all

A coward dies a thousand times
I know some have heard it said
A thousand little deaths
A thousand different beds
And thoughts of only failure
A thousand thoughts of dread
When everything goes red
All is seen as red

A coward dies a thousand deaths
I'm not sure I agree
Because all my many deaths
Were the worst parts of me
And I have heard the crow sing
Saying"better that you'll be
When everything turns white
Youll finally see the light"

And anytime I die
These thousand different times
I feel I am reborn
Becoming something better
A coward dies a thousand deaths
The enlightened man does too
But one sees red
The other sees truth

I suppose
I should write more prose
Because it's three o'clock in the morning
And it's best I say something
Before I turn in
For the night

Because it's three o'clock in the morning
And all that I am wanting
Is to let you know I think you're beautiful
I tell you all the time your amazing
I hope it doesn't mean less to you
Because I am drunk

I should probably go to sleep
But I wanted to make sure
The last words that I speak
Are I love you

People
Buy
Bottled
Water

In downtown Pittsburgh
And then walk down to the park
And watch the rivers

Isn't life beautiful

Today for breakfast
Coffee and cigarettes
Kept me a fool through the morning
Liquid lunch
A six pack
Still pretty fool
And then denial for dinner
And more beer and cigarettes as dessert
Still somehow
I keep on losing wait

Just a throwaway poem
Not meant to mean anything
So if you've read it
You'll forget it

But I imagine fish out of water
She thought she did what's right
He seemed like a good guy
Now he's high as a kite

And somewhere there is a sun
That doesn't want to shine
Because the world below
Doesn't want a year without it

Well we've been to Dantes hell
Some got lost in the deepest part
But not me, no, never
I made it out

So that I could write throwaway poems
That no one should care about

We have so much
We have eyes to see
The beauty of the world surrounds us
We have pain
We can't explain
The emptiness of being connected

And throw away worlds
Age
Or any reason
Anything at all
Is never enough

We have forgotten
We have hands to hold
And fingers to rip apart most everything
We have our hopes
And fears
We have no reason to be this way

Its a world
To throw away
Disposal of the highest order
No more changes
Only endings
No more
Only

And we may sleep
Without dreams
Tonight

Knowing all that is
Is all
That is
Never much worth having anyways

Just a throw away life
Tried to live
On a throw away world

We went through the red light
The red lights flashed over smoke that's rising
A broken shattered window
The streets are changing names
In pockets of defiance
And violence

We could see the bright light
The bright light
But we could see the wide view
The panoramic
And I'm seeing both directions
Introspection
At the money changers temple
We flip the tables  

We could see the red light
It's screaming, "stop", and when
                     the dragon flies both wings wide,
Upon the clouds within the east
That are advancing
And steadily
But you would never see a thicker rain

But we would see the bright light
The twilight
Within this darkness follow white light
And keep fighting
Against forces at the castle gate
Self reflection
At the battle for the worlds end
We're throwing pebbles

But you have never seen a thicker rain

I can't build a castle
If I don't have a queen
I can only build houses
And I build them on sand
I build them with glass
And fill them with mirrors

Just a stones throw away
From disastrous error

Do you ask yourself sometimes?
What it is and what will be?
Who we are
Trains may arrive in stations
The hands on the clock
Our fingers
But our hands have never been pure
Who we are

How it feels
To feel
How it feels to feel just the way you do

Don't you want love and silver and gold?
What is truth and how we seek
Who we are
Clocks always strike the minute
But our hands toil with the devils work
Our faces never stay the same
Marching forward
Who we are

And how it feels
To feel
For you
Time doesn't give a reason

The thing that makes you feel most alive
From all the feelings we can live
Is the feeling
That you knew that you were right
To find out you were wrong

Only the beings that are most alive
Can feel the joy change to frustration
Can know the pain
And understand the loss
The hurt of believing in something false

I push the pedal to the floor
And drive on concrete fields
My nature
Corrupted by influence
Happy to listen to silence
But always speaking back

Say what you needs to say
And it won't matter
Nothing matters anyways
Sing if you want to sing

I press these petals into books
And preserve them
Just nature
Corrupted by my hand
Happy to walk through fields
With dreams of boulevards

And I'm just a tiny giant
Head in the clouds
Feet on the ground
And hopes of making earthly heaven

Irony
Stem of a rose
All we want
Barefooted passion
Kikepeo
Some kind of monster
Fragile astronaut
I want truth
Phantom limb alone in a crowd
I was a child
I remember
Would you?
Even if its not perfect
Cherry blossom
A poet who can say sublime

More stars in the sky
Than all the grains of sand
On all of the beaches
In all the world
Hourglasses are not a way of telling time
But you tip toe through the cosmos of my mind
You use the stars as stairs
You step with sweet feet
And sultry toes

The sand in your shoes
The sand in your hair
I am the sand
You make me a castle
I love the way you dig your toes into me
Your barefooted passion I feel so deeply
I love everything about you
Your feet walking through me
Your beautiful toes

Deny my blood
And I was only bleeding for you
Maybe in time
My heart not anachronistic

These seeds
Don't ever sew
Won't ever grow
Won't ever know
Be fine

Too locked in my own mind
To deal

...

And what of the past
A rich tapestry of multicolored denial
I don't know if I bled
But I feel like I did

These roots
That don't unfold
That don't take hold
Story untold
Be fine

Too trapped in my own design
To live

She is beautiful to me
There is an edge
Far above
The water
There is the water
Far below
An edge

Jump if no ones looking
No one knows
I give it my all
Give it my body

She is beautiful to me
The water is pure
Is innocent
The water
And my sinning self
May die happy
Drowning in her loving arms

There is an edge
There is an end
There is a truth
There is a peace

I jump when no ones looking
Still she cares
I give it my all
Give it my soul

She is beautiful to me

Are the lights not on tonight?
I can see but I can't fight

I was waiting on a street corner
Market and Main
Just watching as the taxis drive away

Are the bars all closed tonight?
Unplug the neon signs

I was sort of like an animal
Wild and free
Looking for a watering hole

Are the stars not out tonight?
I see them but they don't shine

Even in the shadow of the moon I feel a light
I feel alright
Maybe if I wait tomorrow comes
But there are horizons
And there is an island
Tonight
I build a bridge

I cannot sing without your name
I cannot
I cannot dream of my becoming
only become the love I'm wanting

Tonight
I search for light

Somehow
Tonight
I know she's dreaming
Walking with me through the mountains
Of our minds
Hand in hand in peace
Not in a cold sweat
Waking up
In between nightmares
With glowing red eyes
And razor sharp teeth
All those demons
Have forgotten her name
Because angels guard her
I know what little light
I have
Has been given to her
It shines on her soul
And she sees the colors
Royal purples
Smiling yellows
Passionate reds
And tranquil blues
Hand in hand in peace
She walks with me
Through forests of loving greens

And just like always
She'll wake up in tears

I know she'll wake up in tears
Of joy

My music
Breaks the stage
Spilling blood
Giving faith
Its so beautiful
Its just a thought I have

The heartbeat
About to explode
That's the vibe
I'm going for
Its intensity
Its brutal truth

Take it back down
Give it a moment
Black and white
Orchestra of an album

Only image
To break a mold
Taking too much
And asking for more
Because its never enough
We can be soft together

And then we'll rise
Crescendo to a drop
That's the feeling
I want to have
How progressive
How primal

Take it in stride
Its a part of us all
Red and yellow
Orchestra of expression

There's too much riding on that
Too much
Too much my love
And too much of of anything
Is a bad thing
This applies to water

And even love

How am I meant to love
If not with all my heart?

Too much water
Sailors drown
But too much love
Is never enough

Tortured captain
The shadow learns of the queen
Angry says the road
Sorrow is the soil

Loving inner killing
Turning points
The river rolls strange
History's lucky ashes in the wind

Misunderstood unnoticed
Death shines on the seed
Stranger beneath the rose
A darkened crow the ultimate example

Expression rainbows
Black lines and edges
And in this stupid hour
Strangers recognize

The tortured captain

To see

It's been a long road
Through heather and pine
And storm clouds fall as rain
Creating mighty rivers
I build a bridge
So you can see
A bridge that begins where we were
and ends in your soul

And I finally see those eyes start to open
On the harshness of reality
The starkness of outdated modes
Those eyes so beautiful
And I know those eyes are opening
To see
Starting to believe
That there is beauty in this world

It's been a long war
And the brunt of ****** battles
That would take their  toll on me
Until I'm becoming weak
I plant a tree
A shimmering magnolia
In the calm at the center of the storm
These roots have taken hold

And I finally see these eyes start to open
On the light I had to fight to keep
And times when I felt hopeless
These eyes couldn't see my disease
But I know those eyes are opening
To see
If I felt pain
It's not still a part of me

It's been a long doubt
But the smiles never left me
And the language of the laughter
Cutting through the barrier
I understand
It's all that I can do
Release my primal desires
And show my love is true

And I finally see these eyes start to open
Onto a truth that's greater
Something always known
These eyes have seen the change
And I feel these eyes are opening
And looking upon me
Me, with strength and weakness
Liking what they see

Abraham Lincoln could only say
"Go as you propose"

You were a part
Of Sherman's march to the sea
The unforgiving destruction of total war
Behind you lay Atlanta
Smouldering and in ruins
The black smoke rising high in air
And hanging like a pall over the ruined city.
You set your sights on Savannah

The duke of Wellington said it best
"Nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle won"

You too were a part
Of the bloodshed at Waterloo
When the strength wasn't there
But the pride said fight on
The seventh coalition
Letting the waterlogged ground dry
Was your ultimate demise
It is said Napoleon left the battle field in tears

And Scipio went on to say
"It is the part of the fool to say I shouldn't have fought"

You were there too
Hannibal in Iberia
Somewhere south of Zaragoza
When his father was assassinated
And his fate and hatred pushed him on
He crossed the Alps with elephants
And seventy-thousand men
The Romans never saw you coming

I'm in it
But with the realization
I'm really going through it

With every heartbeat is pain
Have we not all been there?
Where what we ask to sustain us
Is poison
Bitter where once was sweet
Head nod unto the fade

Doldrums as I sell my red horse

Heavy in my throat
Lead into my spine
One hot shot to three long months
Forget how to walk

With every cold word
a shake
Hasnt everyone known?
Stricken to netherworld with hope to find
All is lost
Even the words run cold
Oblivion all that's left

Nothing is fine is all I owe

Steady is this loss
Lead unto the sleep
One cold cut to three long months
And every breath is deep

I **** out ghosts for a living
Money exchanging hands and television executives
I must have done something wrong in a past life
Because I'm caught up in a game
Featuring distorted rules
Played by the formerly insane
And now merely misunderstood
Decent people with decent stories
That I have no care to hear

Me and my girls we are lost together
Still walking as a memory
When a moment became forever
And the loss of love
Only caused a gain in sorrow
Never ending

We live on different worlds
Skies aren't to my eyes
Oceans aren't to my heart
My soul
Cannot shift this reality
My feet will never know your ground
Your steps lead you away

What is is real
Is transiency
Hope is hurt
Heart is mind
Love will become
What we make it be
Transgenciancy

Now up is down

I know too much
I know a name
I cannot say

When the day comes its surprising the sun still rises

Well, in the east as it has always done
When even in the morning I see the sun set

You have been warned of the times ahead
Again and again
Though that voice has been silent for some time
You never forget

And a new law spreads the land

A law that demands you be alone
Only the lost and ****** may live
A law that demands you deny the only truth you've known
Demands you submit
Submit

Lightning bolts shot from heavens
As the dark one moves in shadows
Controlling the interest of earth
You are not of the the earth
But instead chosen from out of the earth

There's only one thing to save us
But there's war
And rumors of war
And famine
And earthquakes
And natural disaster at a scale of nothing before

Would you

Would you submit

And deny the only thing you know can save you?