To be or not to be*
I see you, you don't see me
I wait while you scurry
I don't want to bother you, but I want you to bother me
Should I call, can I text?
No reply for days on end
This aching heart, your hand I hold in my head over and over
over, I wish you would come
You know my feelings, no reaction
But no not this time I demand satisfaction.

How do we reach the end if we are always running away
Scared to death scared to look scared to say
Anything and everything become so mute
Misunderstandings and turning up that's not cute
Running around entertaining yourself for the night
Waking up in the morning to start thinking will I be alright?
The mirror lies while you spit the truth
What's happened next on top of this roof?

She's got that face you can't replace
An embrace to get me high and a smile to get me addicted
Conflicted with the memories of the good and bad
Times we've had shared and reminisced
It was just a kiss how did it all turn so sour
Relationship good to bad in under an hour
But our bad was all good
Nothing beats knowing we could
And would be so much more
If one of us wasn't such a....

Laid my eyes on you to rest
This feeling inside takes control and precedence
You've seen the clues hints and evidence
Can you want me? Can you need me?
My twinkling star my diamond in the rough
Appraised every time I see you smile


Priceless

what's in between the rags and the riches
the word two you gotta have two times the grind to go from rags to riches
if you dont believe in your rags then the riches never come
the man in the rags wants riches hes ambitious
getting by means even if thats washing dishes from ramen to what ever is delicious
time is money but money is time like squares and the four corners are they always the same?
not enough milk and honey for the ride
some come from rich and some from raggedy and tragedy
should have kept your rags kid*
comfortable with what you got maybe that's riches
money power and respect which is missed
looking for the recognition but never the success of the mission
A book, like many of a series tells a story
A boy/girl who had nothing going for him all of a sudden an opportunity is presented and you either sink swim or like many of us float
you look at this opportunity but never take it or the initiative that it takes to get to what you want in life because you are comfortable where you are at in the sense that people already like your **** but you want them to love it go further than your friends go to strangers and have them give it a listen
imagine handing your life's story to someone you've never met and they just so happen to be someone who can add a whole chapter to it
Get out of your comfort zone and takes those rags tell them you demand the riches but show them why that's what it's all about
1 hit wonder or not someone saw more potential in you then yourself at one point and you need to take that with you all the way to the end of you because the beginning is only where it starts and how can you see the end if you're still right where you started they call it a journey for a reason it takes you everywhere you want to go and no where you don't hard times and situations are a different story but in the end you still create the vision you've seen since day one whether you like it or not that's not the plot and it sure as hell ain't about what you got it's about what you give how you working for it thinking about how you wanna live on the top of a mountain for all to see how the rags to riches story came to be and what happens when you think you've said it all you barely scratched the surface like history it will repeat itself so you can say it all and say nothing that someone hasn't already said you can just think about it differently and make others marvel over the fact that you took the time to get a bit deeper. it's always harder when you're closer to home able to reach but never to hold it's the matter of time and place not rhyme and race

Life is all about what you perceive personal perception
Dream big even I'm your dreams until you reach inception
The early bird gets the worm but that's a misconception
If you don't know where it is you have a common misdirection
Say it out loud have a sensing session
Until you reach the top early birds look for that interception

Think about touching the sky, can you get that high?
If you do before you die you're gonna be the one to catch my eyes
Dreams and goals, all that glitters is gold
Light in my face shining it ain't heaven yet but it feels real fine and
Fitting in ain't so bad, we all wanna do something with our life
If you wanna fit in with me you gotta want it all
We all want what we can't have, but all is smaller than you think
Big pictures, little ideas, it's all too easy with a bit hard labor
Look in my eyes you see the work? Practically that of art
We all do are best to play our role and our part

Happiness is a feeling that passes through magnetic waves
We can feel the reverberation of positive energy as we pass each other by was there more to it?
Is there a spark, my feelings became electric
My mind became its source of power but otherwise useless
Just tell me that when we passed eachother by you felt this?

Memories memories go away
That's my conscience everyday
I make overthinking seem like a chore
You only hate when you do it more
Keeping me up late looking for security
Wishing my hands were full of yours and you right next to me
Sip life straight out the bottle and enduce
A time where time stops ticking and tocking an impossible truce
Unable to let go of your daily habits
Lay down on your mattress toss and turn from the madness eye lids peeled open from the sadness  
To think when I didn't know your name yet you looked my way and I couldn't fake it but
I have to forget before I remember
All these memories, burn deep it's the embers
All I wanted to do was love her
While my lungs inhale the smok.. my feelings are being smuthered

You're hurt and only I can see
Your emotions and scars internally
Now I've been pushed so far away
So distant you can't hear me say
A battle I have to fight everyday
Just so I can have you stay
In my thoughts, my eyes, my arms all day
Can you see? You were never invisible to me

Clouded judgement
Rash behavior
Love be thy name
My heart and savior
Awkward Silence

In the name of LOVE
We do sing
Our words will reach them
Our thoughts will ring
Back in forth do we ponder
Obsessed with LOVE
But for how much longer?

Woke up this morning with a thirst for you
A trip to the coffee shop will have to do
Large hot regular with the sugar piled
I made a joke and swear you smiled
A confidence boost from my beautiful barista
I told you my name and it's nice to meetcha
Small talk, plans, could lunch turn into dinner?
You're a lottery ticket that's got me feeling like a winner
You bring someone out that's just not me
To tell you the truth I don't even like coffee

What was once said has gone dry
I've spilt more than I care to clean up
This mess needs more than attention
It's in need of Molotov solution
Watch this fire be crushed by the air in my lungs
What once was said has just begun
To take it's toll on your troubled mind
Thoughts of the past soon left behind
Unsure of what I say and the power of my truth
I'm not weird baby I'm just different to you

Rich in money, words, and kindness
Never paid attention to me though
All I wanted was a little time spent with you
Not false hope and empty promises

Like a day of catch between father and son
Looking forward to bonding with my old man
It's how I saw you, but not how you saw me
To hear you say I'd see you tomorrow and leave me to say
Pinky promise?

We've all been there...
Most of us...
A taste of invincibility, or "the sauce"
It's taken  us to higher ground and our lowest point(s)
For temptation and triumph over the dull, uneventful, out of spite
Will you settle for bad morning or a goodnight? choice ultimately yours
But should you make that for which you do not think? Tis a quandary
And the answer lies lost, lost in the sauce

If I had one wish I'd go back to the beginning none of this stealing kisses and mischievous sinning
  way back before I ever had feelings, for you now it's my problem, I'm dealing. I had it up to here with my emotions through the ceiling
you left a nasty sun burn and now I'm peeling. Your radiance overbearing and non concealing.
  I'm lost without you but I lack direction. I've spent too much time looking at my reflection. Hoping youd appear ever again was my misconception. I loved you in more ways then one, back when we were friends trying to have some fun.
I wont lie because I do miss you, the fact that I feel this way is not my issue.
Its that it came to an end so quick and abrupt cant you see I miss you, do you give a ****? Dejavu yes we meet again, another time another place for me to rewind yet another friend.

Down the path we dare not choose
Heavily influenced drugs, *****
A sea bad decisions, treading
Not on, but with me, consciously

Just takes the voices of reason, with many reasons
Do it, try it, I'll do it too
Fingers crossed, unable to look back
Your heart races, unsure reaction
Now you can look back, but it's all gone
What you once saw, is now a thing of the past
The innocent can never last

Hot, like a mirage in the desert
Got me seeing what I want
A soul so warming and nice  
Visions of oasis making me look twice
A splash of water to the face
a refreshing way to clear the space
Between you and I where we lie
To take a step would I pay the price?
Visions of oasis making me look twice

What lies in the dark will be clear in the light seeing though deception our reality preceived as a game we play, take it lightly an surely you will be the one being played  so take precautions and take it with a grain of salt? Confusion is clarity out of order
Shine bright; shadows covering lies

Don't kiss me unless you're going to miss me
Let this be known to thee
I am nothing but a human, with feelings
Real? Artificial? It makes no difference
People still have them, but rarely show
Wearing your heart on your sleeve won't keep your warm
When the icy cold wind of reject creeps it way on by

I've made it but there is nothing left
To claim or to see
What once was a reward is dead to me
All this effort, all this pain?
Will victory ever feel as good as fame?
When do I shoot for the stars? Do I even take aim?
What once was my claim to fame is yet again another game...

In all this I am only a passenger
Only to make you smile when you need it
One time I made a pass at her
Realizing she held such power I fell helplessly
Abusing, watching, reoccurring.
Why couldn't I look away?

The simplicity
Unable to be bothered
A locked bathroom does wonders

You're set to burn I can't see you like this
You'll never learn until it's too late
The look in your eyes set my soul a blaze
Reminded me of the better days
I can't catch fire with you again
Because of you I'm burning from top to end

I'm up all night to have fun
Way late and passed the sun
For great times not just one
You want them too? come get some!

It's easy to do, and easy to make
Memories for old times sake
All the opportunities we could take
Our bounds grow stronger and harder to break

My life's been awake at night
I've always been afraid of the light
Now things are clear and everything's alright
No one can stop us without a fight!

Have you ever took th time to really know someone?
Know who thy really were? Not just by presence?
To talk to analyze to share the laughter
Take a chance maybe you could live happily ever after
It's too easy to push a weightless object called a relation-ship away but harder to have it come in closer
All aboard or all forgotten either way this ship is sailing
Come sail away with me, on these waves, our friendship to be

Fork between my toes
Nobody knows
call it the fork in the road
which path will you take
which path will I choose
Drink another one; *****
I drink when I'm single
Turns me into a drunk bilingual
I speak sober and drunk thoughts
who would have thought my thoughts would be so clear
drinking about a few more than a few beers
Down the hatch, that won't come back
and neither will you but I'm mad at the fact
you were never real but never fake
more like a waste of my time
Call it a mistake
Going off on a quandary
Hate doing laundry
The smell of finished business
makes me not miss this

Heart on a pedestal, a prize, someone's claim to fame
So high up, it beats no ones name
I throw my own at it, yours beats to another drum
I want to hold it so close, too high to reach
On display like the sword in the stone
Could I be the chosen one?
Could we be and make history?

Ever been in the middle, even pushed aside?
Buried 6 feet under while you're still alive?
Just a normal everyday feeling
Lie awake blank mind, staring at the ceiling.
Empty hands wishing you had some to touch
Missing that one person you shouldn't a bit too much
Help anyone anyway you can yet still feeling ******
What's it take around here to be this thing called happy?

Time scars all with the wounds they were said to heal
Sure the marks not visible, but the pain is ever so real
Staring at the hands that mend my fate
Circadian rythum thrown off is it too early or too late?
Half or a quater of my past an electrical impulse away
Memories faded by time but the pain is here to stay
The smell of your clothes, a nostalgic aroma
Time heals all wounds as these scars get older

Only in my dreams could I dream of a reality
A reality where this actually could be a you and me
But all the others they stare and laugh at me you see
I fall head over mole hills too easily
They say you're not worth it, but you are to me
Everyone deserves to be with someone, or is it only dreams
A dream to be dreaming in an alternate reality

Have you listened to the sound of the crowd?
Of course you did, too loud to be ignored
Nothing but harsh words to keep you  from what you love
Whether it be friends, status, or even relationships
The crowd controls the water your ship is sailing on
Never smooth the current always against you
You can't help but pull back
"Don't tread on me"
You know they will.
Trust real people, the crowd ain't no one
But many made up of a lump some

Words seem to be all I'm good at, and I'ts the only thing that cripples me at the same time
Cat had my tongue, I didn't want it back
Scaredy cat, hardly frightened
My speech implies that of an enlightened
Thinker, I think, I thought
Words, on a stage, I'm distrought
Rigormotis set in, stone, to the bone
Keep those words to myself, I'd rather be alone

On those chilly nights we spend so close with our hands intertwined
Like I was yours and you were mine I still feel my heart skip from your touch
Your love to me was never too little or too much
We've ended those days with those fowl words that run trough my head in the day
That feeling of your love will never go away

Pregame a few ounces no one will notice
It was a bit different when I sneaked that kiss
Wasn't for sure wasn't out of confusion
Just the truth in liquid for turned and fusion
It was all alright, a feeling in my chest
And it felt so tight, bumpin' bumpin'
A knock at my heart, someone found their way in
Come but don't make yourself at home
Because when you leave I know I'll feel alone
Stay a while spend the night
The beat of my fast pacing heart feels all alright

I want to write again dont know where to start
Always looked at words as a sacred art
Like a book whose pages have been thumbed through a million times
So others can keep refining and keep this art alive
I dont blame people who give up on it, I know how it can get
Some people only use it as an outlet
Isn't this crazy but I'm not like people I'm lazy
Nothing special about why I tend to use a book mark I dont like to thumb through
I like to dissect refine and renew
I hope by the time my new poems hit the surface
My writing will provide other with a sense of purpose

Chasing down a dream is not always what it seems
A boulevard of broken in a world made of glass
Some things in life weren't made to last

The things that are you should hold on to for sure
The world ain't what it use to be anymore
Broken homes to broken bones hearts and such never left alone

We've all been through hell and back it's no place to be
A world we never talk about and refuse to admit what we see
Heaven on Earth isn't sounding so bad

They say spread your wings and fly away but some don't go as far
Struggling in life not with money but the simple crutch a car
No wheels to spin we're all sticks in the mud

Seek inspiration and refuge from yourself
Take the time to read the books on the shelf
You can see the world through others eyes
Just to see that the world is just one big clever disguise

It's not all bad, don't be sad, be happy with the fond memories you've had
One day you'll miss it
But what's the point of reminiscing while you're still in it?

I come to you when I want
I come to you when I need
You come to me to take
When you take from me I bleed
Take and take is all you do
Foolhardily I let it happen
*What if I did that to you?

Always wanted Her but she ran too fast
Doesn't matter id never last
Got some drive but no destination
Lost with a road map no transportation
Your hand in my headlights
As I drive away...

You're dead longer than you are alive
Which serves a better purpose?
Insane it might seem but imagine
Like a world with magic and dragons
The impossible on the "other side"
Waiting for out truly vacant imaginations
To store the over flow of what cannot be seen
And continue creating the unthinkable

Sitting here just watching how life's changed, and it hasn't
It's been the same forever we just see without the light in our eyes when we grow up
The light being the shadowy parts of our brains perception and growing up is when you realize life sometimes isn't what you expect it to be when you reach that up point
I've watched so many people just forget about one another because their own lives are too busy for those who are not present in close proximity with one another
Missing myself, and the others I used to call my friends and crushes regardless of which they were in my life at some point
Sad to see people part ways but even more so to see others leave a friendship behind as if it never existed
As if words were a filler and you were just another body to be encountered just by coincidence
Our relevance could have not been any less of a mere introduction to becoming the worlds best definition of acquaintances
Don't leave those behind who have not yet gone, you might miss what might have been or will be more than meets the eye

I'm no different than the things I said I'd never be
In the eyes of the innocent it's easy to see
Peer pressure, social media, and life to make you fall to your knees
But that's the anxiety
Do you think you are as insane as me?
I walk a path of self destruction, almost an art
Playing the part of who you think I am
Right not I'm not the leading actor but I'm doing the best I can
A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand

Nervous, like the first day of school times ten
Innards shaky from what's to come
I don't know if I'm ready, what have I done?

One chance to do this, will I seize the day?
Am I smart enough am I strong enough?
Am I trained physically and mentally tough?

I've set a trap, but where has it gone?
Removed and detached with the help of technique
I will uphold my values along with physique

I'm goin' gone mamma can't you see
There no stoppin' now I've gone too far
I'll be smiling at you from the rear view my journey's car

Given the tools to build you own foundation
That should be enough help
Seek yourself, seek yourself
Ask for help but don't take it
Let others help help you
Nothing is free but even that takes effort
You would be surprised at what you may find
Your foundation awaits your steady hands
And to think all you needed was a plan

Which path are we destined for
Life's choices are not always voluntary
Outcomes are our decisions

My eyes really open up to know the world will go on without me
I'm stuck living life from check to check and mirror to selfie
What is this world of self admiration without self confidence?
A fake sense of belonging for a measly thumbs up and a "share"
Funny to know that most of the time we all don't care
Conscious and worried in the back of our mind
Love me notice me be with me it all rushes in
This fear of being alone come about through wires not connected to our brain
Never have I felt such a rush from reading characters
and to think you have no idea if I've ever read a book or not
Take a second and think about that thought