i hope that you are great and full of light. i hope that you meet new faces that will make your life turn upside down with new adventures inside jokes and lessons that will either make or break your heart. i hope that you get to the city and you walk the runway of your favorite brands and meet the man to whom you will give your heart to and he handles it as a prize and not a possession. i hope he is everything you dreamed of and when he kneels down with the ring you’ve wanted since you were thirteen your heart is put back to how it was before you were called a worthless piece of s* and after your first love left you. i hope that when you walk down the aisle in your white gown you feel loved and beautiful. i hope that when you deliver your beautiful blonde hair and green eyed daughter you look at her how your parents first looked at you and i hope she grows up to be everything courageous and lovely. i hope you shine bright and go long. i hope that you exist.

it has been a year without you. i never thought that i could make it. i always thought that i have to have you in order to survive but in this year without you through all the boys. lessons. tears and laughs i’ve learned that it’s okay to lose yourself sometimes because you’ll always find your way back to who you really are. this year without you has been hard and challenging. although it was mostly pain i still learned what love was and what love was not. love is not having to feel obligated to touch or kiss someone. love is not crying every night because they made you feel not good enough. love is not perfect and it certainly isn’t easy. love is something that comes to you whether it’s in the form of waves thunderstorms or sad songs you hear on the radio. it will come to you and when it does love will embrace you and hold you close. you cannot force love. love will breeze it’s way to you. you only need to be patient.

you made me feel as if i was important to you when really i was just a **** in your garden full of roses.