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The Admirer Mar 2018
It all seems like a routine. The build up  to the argument, the fight, her crying and her asking for forgiveness without it being her fault. a story many have heard of, of a daughter and father. Daddy issues, funny a lot of girls have them, I wonder why is that... why we all have those problems? Is it all planned out or is it a coincidence. A painful journey we all must have as an adolescent girl or an unlucky few.

There are the lucky ones, whose dad is the one who comforts them, when their moms are not letting them go out to a party or be with a boy they like. Those problems are sweeter i guess, unlike hers, the bitter sweet kind. They both love each other fondly. He can never get over the girl's mom. He release his pain to her and she does nothing... Wait she does nothing? WHY!

Daddy is sad, and daddy gets mad because he is hurt, but when he is not hurt he loves her very much, he calms down, he seem like a dad. Daddy promises her he will try to get better, give him one more chance and don't tell MOMMY. She blindly believes him every time wishing he speaks the truth, but he doesn't.

The saddest part of this is he doesn't want to lose her. He cant lose anyone else, he would be all alone. Whenever he tries to get better he buys her things, builds up strength but looses it whenever MOMMY calls.  Sad thing is she will learn to hurt like daddy does.
A bitter sweet tale of a dad and daughter.
The Admirer Mar 2018
People keep on talking like i care.
Its funny you think i would
You might think it's mean and rude
But it's not like i am unaware

I feel dead inside
There's nothing for me to hide
Call it trauma if you wish
I call it a being a cold hearted *****

Long time ago I was hurt
I was hurting  really bad
All that pain that I once had
All my emotion I had to desert

Now I feel nothing
Don't care about anyone feelings
Because the more you care about it
The more you have handle the ****
The Admirer Sep 2017
Is it too hard to ask for people to be there?
You give and give, just wanting a tiny
bit of love once in a while,
Is that so selfish to say?
I wonder though.

Should I change?
Just be ruthless and demand.
Not caring about the other' s needs,
Be such a cruel person so I can be loved.
would that make me a bad person or like you?
The Admirer Sep 2017
The days grow longer
The sun soon sets to sleep
As the night grow faster
Sooner we start counting sheep

It's a new life which arises
A new feeling in the atmosphere
Not the same people, different actions and sizes
Change has come sooner that we fear

Prepare, for the times are changing
The ones you know have started to shed
The beautiful are aging
And all stories have been read
The Admirer Aug 2017
IIIIIIII     NE      HELP H             HELP
    II         ED      HELP  EL    LE  HELP
    II                     HELP       P        HELP
    II                     HELP                  HELP
    II                     HELP                  HELP
IIIIIIII                 HELP                  HELP


IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII  AM            A­M     SOSOSOSO    LO           ST
IIII               IIII  AM        MA         SO          SO     LO          ST
IIII               IIII  AM      AM           SO          SO     LO          ST
IIII               IIII  AMAMAM          SOSOSOSO     LOSTLOST
IIII               IIII  AM         MA        SO          SO            STL
IIII               IIII  AM             AM    SO          SO            STL
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII  AM      ­         MA  SO          SO            STL
The Admirer Jul 2017
I am so scared to write to you
Because I am scared about your answer
being out there is something I am not into
As I write to you my heart starts to beat faster
I want to unsend it but I can't anymore
I stare at the message for a while
Did I think this through, not so sure
My head, my thoughts and my feelings go wild
What do I expect him to say
I have always loved you
I have never felt the same
So many answers one can assume
I check my phone again
I shrug and let my phone drop
Suddenly I see a notification with his name
I stare at it and my heart stops...
The Admirer Jul 2017
It's over now, all of it
The nights spent on my bed lying
With all that heartbreak all that crying
I have finally ended all that ****

My heart is now free from our past
And at first trying to do so was so hard
But i had to dig myself out of that graveyard
Of pain and regrets that i thought would last

You never were the right guy for me
I tried so hard to believe that you were the one
After a while, i knew that nothing could be done
I realised i wanted something that you could never be

*I loved you very much so
but now it is time to let you go
goodbye..
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