I feel the need to use the word broken again.
Because I hope he breaks me
like a stallion,
but I don't think he could love me
when I'm broken in.

"I hope you're saving those"

Dare me to,
I want to split my
obsession
of language between my sides.
And when he pulls my heart from the right of me
and stares at all the ****** pieces
of what is left of my body,
I will say
"oh my god.
'It's been so good, my god, this love has been so good."
His eyes are the only christmas lights
I deserve to see all year long,
up against the midnight black of the coffee he drinks,
his blue eyes against the rose of my wine.
And when I finally
feel the splash of his lips
against
mine
the splash of his lips against mine
(melting me like a sugar cube)
I may feel the tug of red strings
between my heart his,
and in a sweet symphony and unsaid morse code,
"this has been what I've always needed,"
dots and dashes,
"this has been what I'm waiting for."

I see you
Yochana
thin as wire

shiny hair
narrow nose
looking back

towards me
eyes gazing
while Miss G

at the front
of the class
talks music

Beethoven
and deafness
how he had

his piano
cut down low
to feel sound

vibrations
on his skin
how you look

towards me
Yochana
vibrates on

my skin too
I mouth words
you're ****

towards you
your forehead
creases up

eyebrows rise
thinking out
what I've mouthed

I love it
how you are
you look back

at Miss G
and her talk
on music

Beethoven
and not me.

There was a time
I was his very breath
His rising sun and waxing moon
I am still his love

There was a time
I was his heaven on earth
His goddess, his flowing tide
I am still his love

There was a time
I never left his thoughts
I was his very smile
I am still his love

There was a time
I could be who I am
No pain in accidental words
I am still his love

There was a time
He accepted all my flaws
Danced and basked in them
I am still his love

There was a time
Distance wasn't pain
And my existence didn't break his heart
I am still his love

There was a time
My smile didn't cut
The truth of us was all he needed
I am still his love

There was time
I was naught but joy
Not steeped in impossibilities
I am still his love

There was a time
I warmed his heart with my own
Now a waning moon and ebbing tide
But I am still his love

low, fast moving clouds
make me feel
like i'm standing
still on a mountain

wisps of cotton candy
and wind in my hair

there is a change in the air
a slower, colder
turning motion
all around me

my head in the sky
my feet in the sea.

In front of the mirror doing my hair,
It’s all in the prep work, don’t despair,
Soon be time for the big event,
all this grooming is time well spent,

walk like a robot, keep a straight face,
don’t want a single hair out of place,
grab the phone, yes this is the spot,
set it all up for the perfect shot,

try to look natural, find the right pose,
hide the blemish that’s on my nose,
impossible angles, arm muscles ache,
the phone in my hand is starting to shake,

follow the light, keep stumbling back,
I think I’m having a panic attack,
all this stress is really no fun,
but a click of the button and the deed is done !