In a space so filled,
how could I feel so lonely?

The thing that makes me the happiest human in the world is truly making you smile
Seeing you laugh and turn pink whenever I plant the softest kiss on your nose and cheeks
or kiss your lips with a silly fish face just fills me with the greatest gratitude to the universe
for giving me the sweetest love I've ever knew

The way you hug me while resting your head on my lap never fails to make my heart melt

And if I can abandon compassion and if I can abandon hope, would it make me less human? Would it make me a ghost?

I'm trying to reconcile the difference between the things in my head: the inconceivable anger and the thoughts about death.

And this brutish indifference and that bitter betrayal. The loves long forgotten and how that same love always failed.

And I can picture your reaction; how you wouldn't even react at all. Because when you left here,
you left me.

What I learned from this world
is that you can't expect loyalty from someone else.

It does not matter how close you are.

The only loyalty you are sure to get is from you to yourself.

Here comes the heavy heart
and ******* thoughts already beginning to start.
Here comes the feeling of my face turning embarrassingly hot from  finding out something I more than likely should have not.
Here comes the "**** it" attitude mixed with "I'm really ******* ****** at you".
Here comes the passive aggression with built up tension; but nevertheless, I hold my thoughts inside because of my worthless transparent pride.
Here comes the overall "what's the point anymore when all the side effects of love just leave me sore?"