"I want to love you, but I don't know how. I want to love you. Pitch black, pale blue, these wild oceans shake what's left me loose, just to hear me scream for mercy."

She whispered "you have to stop this, you have to be the beautiful girl I know you are" I wonder if she can see me tremble or hear the sound of every piece of me built upon each other as to not completely break and yet her words roll off her tongue and straight to my shield destroying the barricade I had up to keep the world out. I can't help but wonder if shed ask me to not be myself if the roles were reversed. If I had been any manlier while growing up would they see the signs like a car crash you can't prevent? Or would they still ask me to put the clown costume on for everyone to see how feminine I can be? The shorter my hair will never deter the  jokes and comments slid into my ribcage to be born when I change like that butterfly just a little to late coming out of the cacoon. Eve was born out of the ribcage of Adam yet being the eve everyone sees I am even though I'm  Adam building people up and out of my ribcage to show their confidence like a tree sap that needs a little courage to grow