I don't know what this is;
You've gone ballistic.
Right now I'm dodging words,
but who knows what a fist is?
A figment
of my imagination,
creation
of possible scenarios
that I don't want to think about,
bruises forming on my arms
and gazes screaming, "let me out."
I'm not doing this;
I tell this to myself now,
but I forgave you once,
and I'll forgive you if it all plays out
like it does in my nightmares-
blank stares.
I'm hollowing out,
and I'm not about
to tell you how
I feel.
It's surreal.
I don't want to believe it,
but there's a lot I don't want to believe,
my heart on my sleeve,
and you're wiping your nose in it.
That's not why I care.
I care for the times
when the tears aren't there.
I'm only in love with part of you,
the part that seems to be right now;
I love all the parts I've met,
but there's a nagging inside
that doesn't trust you somehow.
I just feels like there's a side of you
that I've only started meeting;
the loving loses meaning
when it comes with painful greetings
with this new side of you.
I'm tired of ending every night
on a sour note.
I want to let it go,
but I can't.
You have so much power over me,
using me,
repeatedly,
because I believe
that I love you,
and I already forgive you
for anything you've yet to do.
It's sickening to know the truth.
This is my first poem on Hello Poetry. I'd really appreciate feedback and maybe some prompts for new poems. Thanks!
