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Sara Kellie Oct 2018
Religion is Recruiting for
Customer Complaints.
Where is my God, the disciples
and all the absent saints?
The time I have invested
sitting in your church.
This wasn't in your advert
you've left me in the lurch.
I'm asking for a refund,
you've years to reimburse
and then there is the funeral,
the flowers and the hearse.

I've sat on your pew,
spent time praying to you
and now that I'm dead,
I'm unsure what to do.
I should have known better,
you never replied.
Yet I kept the faith
until the day that I died.

Now I queue to complain,
I must be ******' insane!
because,
well,
you don't even exist!

Poetry by Kaydee.
On the first day, man created God.
You reach 95, scrimping by like church mice,
but then the very night
you win the lottery,
you have massive coronary:
swings & roundabouts.
Lose your lucky penny,
picked up by your arch-en'my,
but he pops his back out.
You wear the weekend crown,
but your boss is new in town:
swings & roundabouts.
If it weren't so stiff,
canvas would wrap chips
in Vince's time.
But a cench later,
Sotherby's sell 'Sunflowers'
for a trillion demon dimes.
I'm gonna be immortal,
I'm gonna die alone:
swings & roundabouts.
Strings & roundabouts.

Adolf eyeing the Eiffel, Christ on the cross:
swings and roundabouts.
******, B in his bunker; Jesus Prince of Heaven:
swings & schweinhunds.
****** is in Hell, Israel's got Stockholm's:
swings & roundabouts.
If ******'s Hell's himself,
how come that's my hell as well,
and I don't even **** limescale.
But worse wuss Judas abuse jurisprudence
- Dr.Jekyll & Judge Judas hyde behind trust,
30 pieces of silver & roundabouts.
Jesus wept, Judas slept in his Jaguar:
silver linings for downandouts.
Snakes & ladders & roundabouts.

O Swings & Roundabouts Vicar, can I have a word
about my doubts!
O Swing & Boutarounds Vicar, can I have a word
about my doubts!
O Bout & Swingarounds Vicar, can I have a word
about my doubts!
O Round & Swingabouts Vicar, can I have a  word  
about my doubts!
Ain't roundabouts roulette of a grazed knee,
but I have nothing against swings...
Horses for courses really.

— The End —