its getting bad again.
i can tell.
around every dark corner its there waiting for me.
for the past four months depression has been subdued and had been just a back thought.
just a thought of suicide. never thinking if how or when
two days ago i felt my brain become fuzzy and unclear like it had before
i began to think about the act of killing myself.
i thought of hanging myself
i thought of overdosing
i thought of slitting my throat and letting my body bleed out
but instead of killing myself i broke a 4 month promise i made to myself
i cut myself
not deep enough to do much damage but deep enough to feel the pain and annoyance of fresh cuts
ive been so scared to get bad again and its back and its going to be worse than ever
the fuzziness is back and its constant
i dont have many clear moments  
depression blurs reality and brings in false perception of my moments
i dont feel right
nothing calms my thoughts
im becoming numb with fear of myself but ive never been so comfortable