I can feel a gun pressed to my head,
a soft breeze to my neck,
his tender breath
- I am waiting for every word like an explosion-

Arbitrary colors surpass my mind,
there isn't a reality strong or safe enough for me to call home.
And I understand,
this torture is my paradise,
this moment of mindfulness
and heroine feels like
I am capable of all pain

I used to be me
I used to wake up feeling sick
Days were useless just because
I'd spend them trying to figure out
who I was
and fixing myself to death
cause I was never good enough
to please my inner voices
( they'd shout to my ear:
"What are you so afraid of?")

Now it is done
And I am free.