I came to where the road divides
I wondered which way I was to go
Then something shiny caught my eye
It was a silver fork and I said ** !
Perhaps a little on up above
A spoon or knife will lay way lade
And I can find it before the flood
And if I do my day is made
Now if only I had some marmalade

A truck driver told me always go to the right
Never make the mistake of turning left
Wouldn't that always be driving in circles
He said that's the meaning of life

So I threw the fork back on the road
And took the left fork full of toad(s)
See all that glitters is broken glass
Ask Cleopatra and her asp

Good morning again. Wake the **** up! Back to sleep once again in my head. Sway back and forth in front of the mirror until I **** near collapse into the wall with a stream of drool perfectly poised at my mouth before I wipe it off and sit on the toilet.

Perhaps my phone will keep me awake.

Nope.

I'm rocking again and only give up on trying to stay awake bare assed when my phone hitting the floor prompts me up and at em once more to lay in the tub that, once filled, barely covers my **** and ***** that are forcefully tucked underneath my gut flop.

Awake again now
sweatier than before
less refreshed than left over fries after a microwaved cycle.

Them: "look how different your life is."

Me: "new responsibilities - same limitations."

I haven't grown. Life changes. Look back at the pictures and you'll see - less hair on the head that surrounds the same fat face.

At least I wear deodorant, although it is my wife's until I pick up some more of my own.