I don't know what I feel anymore. One minute I'm happy, the next minute sad. One day I hate him the next, I miss him. My feelings are everywhere. I can't control them. But this time it's true. This time I know. The darkness lingering inside of me tells me, I do truly miss him, I do want him back. But the emptiness has came and is unbearable. He is gone and I cannot control it. For I was to selfish to see before that I was the luckiest girl ever. But that is gone and I am unsure that I will ever get it back.

Do I deserve it back? Do I deserve to have him? I wish, but I a doubt in my mind that he will ever forgive me fully for the mistakes I've made. Life will go on, dark, empty, hopeless. I wish it could get better. I wish I could see light At the end of the tunnel but I just don't see it.