The day I found out about you I was terrified. How was I exposed to be a mom?
The day I saw your heart beat I was terrified. How could something so small change your whole life?
The day I felt you move inside me I was terrified. How can one little flutter of movement make me doubt everything I’ve ever known?
But those fears ment nothing compared to the day I felt the pain.
23weeks 4 days
That’s how long I thought I felt fear.
The day you came into the world was the day I felt real fear.
How can the pain I felt mean absolutely nothing as long as you took your first breath?
How is it I couldn’t keep you inside me where you belonged a little while longer?
How come I never got to hear the voice of the one person who changed my whole world?
How is it fair that I watched you die when I would have given my soul to make you live?
How do I go on without you in my life?
How do I breath without you when you can’t take a breath again?
How do I live now when I feel nothing because you were my everything?
You taught me what true terror feels like.
HOW DO I LIVE NOW?!?