There was no magic manual that was given when you gave birth to me
But if there was you would have failed miserably
Even if the answers were written in dark red ink
They wouldn't have given anyone time to think
That maybe the magic mannual that came for me is wrong
Because nothing is fixing me it's taking too long.

But if that magic mannual was real
It would tell them I didn't need fixed
If there was a guide book on how to help
It would tell them to breathe with me
If there were check lists on what to do
Would they have even gone through
With helping me or was I just the enemy

It shouldn't have taken a doctor
It shouldn't have taken a stay
It shouldn't taken anything
Besides them just spending one day
Talking to me helping me working with me side by side
I was too young to bare the weight of wanting to die

And that's why even if the magical manual did exist
My parents wouldn't care. They would be ******
That the efforts they were already exhausting wasn't enough
They didn't have the energy for me
They just wanted to use tough love.
But I was a fragile gentle child
Who needed a hug.

I know there's not a magical manual
And especially not for me
But why did my parents give up so tirelessly
When I was struggling endlessly
Complex and matter of factly.


My magic manual mediates the troubles in face.
If it were real maybe I would have gotten some grace.
My magical manual says it there in the fine print
This little girl came with a few dents.