Something scary in my mind-
The thought of you go;

Body, wearied, cracked by time,
Hope you don't die so.

You are too young,
Too young to die,

Don't leave me alone.

Something warped, borne in my mind:

Should've been me instead,
Could've been me instead,
Would've been me instead...

...Don't leave me alone,
Don't leave me alone...

The truth serves no purpose anymore,
Everyday's the same dream
Mindless, lifeless, happiness-poor,
The world isn't as it seems.

Days, weeks, months, years, feeling stranger,
By my trauma strangled,
Too ungreat to bring 'bout changes,
In your lies I'm tangled

School's all that matters,
Not eduction
No one cares about effort,
Just router perfection.

Between the seams,
Are scary dreams.

I'd like to be...

...Eventually...

Able to roam
Around so free

I have secrets
Inside of me.

Can you discover why I'm even here,
Can't you feel,
I think our end is near
But are sure you really want to know?
So little of me and such a long way to-

-Go-

-Away
To you, I say.
You think you know
It all, hurray!

But, no, you don't,
Not even close,
There's one last piece
Of the puzzle to go.

...I know...
...You can't...
...Resist...
...The temptation...
...Inside my chest...

You keep telling me things that I know
But what if you were in my place?
Being unable to stand
The look of your own face?

Can't trust thoughts anymore,
Myself, a living disgrace?

School is all that matters,
Not anymore education,
I speak to you, what you tell me to do
You say its "frustration."

Ignoring, abusing, overusing, shutting down my body systems-
People are so hard to please,

Don't know accurate name for my behaviours,
Just call it "Disease"

Being a misfit,
I try to be you,
You don't know I've been suicidal
Since my second *Grade 2

I don't ussually ask for much
But when I do
Apparently it is to great
For you to do?

Apologies for I, disappointment.
Please, I don't ask for sympathy
You may not believe, but,
I do not cry deliberately.

honestly, I TRUELY naturally forget
I don't know how to communicate with spoken words, yet.
When I do, they are usually lies
So my only way , throu poetry, I write.

When you ask what's going on,
Honestly, I can't recall
Without my poems and songs, about me,
No one would know much at all.

Been this way ever sine in Haiti
What I call "Disease"
Is an extended, ongoing culture and reverse-culture shock, maybe?

What cause have I to feel glad?
I've built my life on judgement and feeling pain.
I don't know those eyes I see in the bloodstained chrome.

Now everything that I've had
and everything I've known have been thrown away.
And with time I've come to find this isn't my home.
I've stoked the fire, seen more pain that you can know.
The tears of the broken have washed away my soul.
Pushed by their desire to change the way my stream will flow,
Disease awoken, and it's taking back control.
I try my best to ignore my screams,
They keep haunting me in my dreams.

Please break my shackles?
I want it to stop?

I man this wretched machine.
Day in, day out, the grinding wears on my brain.
Undermining my sanity,
Making me question what's "reality."
"Life" is not as it seems.
Should I take a chance of freedom or throw it all down the drain?
I've been imprisoned,
Please burn my transgressions away?

I'm sick of hurting, sick of thinking it's all I do.
Broken by those around me, spared very few.
The bright moon is burning, and my thoughts are ever blue.
Darkness surround me, am I becoming a part of you?

I...
...Might be getting tired of this:
Endless game of scares.

I'm through,
I'm coming to an end,
Real soon.
But life still haunts my dreams,

See you...
Not knowing Death
You've never stared it
In the eyes.

Stopped asking why
Is it always the past
That comes to haunt my life?

Guess this is where I am.

I guess this is my curse;
Oh dear
And it can get much worse,
The fear...

...I'm stuck in here...

Nightmares,
Out of my control,
My regrets
Leave me feeling empty and cold,

What they want is what I fear,
I just want to get away from it all.

Here's the call to drag me away,
My rise could be my fall...

...I've got to get free...
...This really isn't me...

Taken way too soon,
I'm not at all who I used to be,

Shifting in glass box,
My past is nothing more than just a dream?

Now I feel the taughts of Disease growing once again.

I'm powerless to change my fate,
But in the end, I'll be shelthered,
Once again.

With judgements torn,
If you listen really close,
You can hear me sing my songs...

No, they can't give me back the mind I had,
But I don't have to suffer on my own,
Even if I'll never find my home,
I'm not alone,
I'm not alone?

In my little world,
Forever lost to passing time.

They don't knows what it's like to wear the masks
That they trapped me inside.

One day the cold clouds hovering over me'll
Begin to fade.

Then I'll be free to cut your strings,
Cry no more tears,

But for now, I walk,  enchained.

They aren't tears...
...Just my heart bleeding...

...They aren't scars...
...Just...
...My disease resurfacing...

...That's not self-hate...

...

...So what if I'm suicidal?

You won't get far with denial.

I'm a puppet cutting the strings;
Can't work for you, I'm too tired.

Circuit, light source of outdated version;
Need rewire

Snowman in your freezer,
Trying to keep your present from the past,

Can't let it go, how can you?
When I won't last.

I am such an angel,
But my wings can't carry both our weight any more.

I need some silence,
Your voices are hard to ignore.

Just giving you time.
You, a puzzle to put together.

Time has no mercy,
I am not forever.

You fall apart,
Sayings of you're fine!

Unbearable brittleness,
Of me, of mine.

You, robot:
No batteries, no power.

Skilled ninja,
Stuck in surroundings of lasers.

I am a good keeper,
But when I left, you locked your heart away,

Time doesn't permit me,
I couldn't stay.

The words of your mouth,
Not yours, but others,

Your apathy to this disturbing world,
You, unbothered.

Your trauma, with you, partners,
You who suffocate,

When others, you contact,
It has become too late.

You can be battery;
Others always drain.

Connection with strangers, online,
Make you feel like I'm here again.

Intelligence brought you here,
Different from education,

I see you like a filter paper,
Story censorization.

We wanna Jo to have more friends
Not hidden in shadows to drive Jo wild.

Jo try so hard to make Jo dead
Jo pain, is yours kind of pleasure? Chld?


It's we
We know Jo can hear us

We're broken. There can be way

Believe
We are all in Jo head
Lies Jo tell selves each day

Memory always been rotten?
Bitter old times cannot forgotten
Silent screams, misunderstandings,
Can you bring Jo better ending?

Tears of fear shows Jo despair
Real humans are never there
Happiness can't last forever
Jo try to fix selves together

Watch out...
...Disease draws closer
As it killing Jo mind...

...Find calm...
...It cannot be over?...
...Lies of truth lie behind...