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Katy Sheridan Dec 2017
I stand in front of the mirror that I threw aside last night.
I see the broken glass shattered in the corner of the frame.
I look at my ribs and my pale face is bleached with fright.
The only thing I can think is 'who can I blame?'
Not myself, no.
It can't be my fault?
You wouldn't do that to yourself.

I see a plate full of food.
I try to finish, otherwise that's rude!
What do I really care about? My well-being or someone else's?
Oh shut up! You are just being selfish!

I can't eat this much, I might be sick,
but I must or I will be sick.
I don't think I can eat anymore.
But you don't understand! You need to eat more.

What I need to do is stop losing this weight.
But it's hard, and I can't concentrate.
this needs to stop before it's too late.
it's me, nobody else who I hate.

It's me. I'm the one who's wrong.
It's me. I see it now.
It's me. This has gone on too long.
It's me. Yes, I will admit
I'm trying to commit.

I'm slowly dissolving, getting smaller.
And I am getting no fuller.
Sometimes I honestly feel like an animal in a zoo.
Je suis presque disparu.
This poem is based on me and my current weight struggles.
Delta Swingline May 2017
Speak up
Stop shaking
This is not part of your character
I'm not mad
I believe you are completely wrong
You continue to believe a lie
Get you hands away from you face, stop shaking, breathe, and say something
I am not causing you anything
If you don't like it here, get out, go live under someone else's roof
You can **** me
I hate that they did this to you
I blame them
I'm not the bad guy
You make me out to be this monster
This is not you
Where is my daughter?
I'm scared.
They scream louder this time
There's nothing I can do
I am everything they never wanted
It's so clear to me now

Pulsing music from my iPod
Drowns Their voices out
I know that wont stop the fight
Just from you hearing it

I cant help but think of when they were happy
I wonder if it was my fault
If I had just been beautiful
Mom would have tried to halt
If had gotten straight A's
Dad would have cared
Instead of hurting me

I've tried so long for them to see
All I've ever wanted them to be
What every other family always had
But my cries and pleas have only left me
Hopeless, Broken, Sad

Once again I open that drawer
I sadly know to well
Grab that blade
To solve everything
At least for now
I lift my sleeve
Just one cut
I close my eyes shut

One tear slips down my vulnerable face
Then the flashbacks
Once again
Of the times where my father made sure I knew
No one will ever want me

I let that blade break through my skin
I hope to God that I'll eventually be okay
My old life
idiot Nov 2014
you're a ******* ocean and i can't swim
you're everything and i'm nothing
you're toxic, you burn my insides and it's like a drug i can't get enough of
you could punch me in the face and I'd ask you to do it again
i hope i get the courage to talk to you again

— The End —