Some days it physically hurts to leave my bed and my brain constantly keeps telling me everything I do is wrong. I call those the dark days.
I've been having trouble lately turning the light back on.

4:41pm
When did life become a
huge lie
When everything you thought you knew was wrong
When the people you thought loved you
We're the ones who actually hurt you the most
When you grow up and realized
When will you get your happy ever after?

9:36pm
It is fall
The time of year when there is joy
Laughter and love
When the weather begins to cool
When the leaves lay on the ground
The different vibrant colors
And every leaf I step on
Every crunching noise it whimpers out
When it crumples and breaks  
Reminds me of the sound of my heart
When you left.

2:58
No matter
Where i go
Who i meet
What i'm doing
You're on my mind
But you do not get butterflies
In your stomach when i cross your mind
So this is getting really ******* annoying

9:43
The first person to hold my hand
It was from a boy who didn't love me
My first kiss
The same boy who i began to adore
Still did not love me
The first to make me feel there was a reason to breathe this precious air
The first boy to make me feel adored
Who told me there was a reason
A reason to do things with love
But yet
This boy
Still does not
Love me

8:25pm
I fear when people ask me how i feel
I could sit you down for hours, days
And explain how I've felt everything
All at once
Could explain how there's times I cry to much or myself to sleep
Could explain how i smile and sometimes it's real and sometimes it is not
Could explain that fear eats me whole and that i am constantly paranoid
That my future scares me
Could explain when there are times i do not feel loved or when i feel alone
I feel to much lately these feelings are becoming numb
And i do not have anyone to ask me how i feel, so I'll continue to keep this bottled and until then I'll explain it to myself.