There are many thoughts
Combined with feelings
that take a strain

With more pain there is
Much less to truly gain

Still change great things
That awaits us to entertain
The shallow sounds
of a crashing tone
Tear more often extra drone
Another day away
We come closer to home

Say how a
Brother soul is old
Forcing more pain
down a narrow path

Tempting and tripping into a panic wrath

Subjecting that my pain
is like a sequel or
equivalent to basic math

Bleeding out every emotion
there's no more tears to cry or
breath left to have the last laugh!

-DESCOVIA & C.J

My aversion to sleep is ironic.
I would love to be sleeping right now.
It's just... that constant, unavoidable, uncomfortable consequence.
Waking up.
Sleep is a painless high, and waking up is a bucket of cold water.
Everyday I allow myself to be doused with reality.
Wouldn't death just be a high you never have to wake from?

How can one believe
That there is no other life
In the universe?

here's the thing about looking
onto windows at night,
you suddenly come to realize the world
in its separate yet inescapable three dimensions,
you see not only your own reflection,
but over and beyond,
you pause from blinking
and for an abrupt of an instant,
your life flashes before your eyes,
you see all of the scenes so clearly
acted out by a vivid yet an accurate reflection,
you start to remember the meticulous shade
of a sky that your cheeks were touched by,
the thickness of a boy's pride that made you
wish the world existed in only one dimension,
you feel the pain that filled the veins
of a cracked floor you once walked on,
your lips lift to form a smile a stranger
threw at you from a stage you wanted to be on,
and in this peripheral gazing,
you exist in two dimensions
stuck in between what the window
entails at day and at night.

It's three in the afternoon,
Am at my fourth bottle of *****,
But don't you dare call me an alcoholic!
I look out my window to the street,
The sun's rays penetrating my pupils,
Much to my disgust.
I see two young lovers hand in hand,
If only they knew what heartbreak was.
I see some young kids playing on the street,
If only they knew the turmoils of adulthood.
I see a very young man singing happily,
If only he knew the horrors of life awaiting him.
I grinned and sneered,
As I saw the dark path thay lay ahead for everyone.
"Fools!", I called them.
They must lack common sense,
Out of touch with reality.
Surely they weren't reading the news,
Or checking the economic state of the country.
I was once stupid like them,
But I became wise after losing all hope,
And getting in touch with reality.
Am at my fifth ***** now,
My liver is failing, the Doctor says...
But I don't care!
We will all die anyway.
If there is light at the end of the tunnel,
Then I must be heading towards the beginning.
You can call me hateful,
I call me realistic.

Put others before myself
**** everything
I don’t need your  help
All this pain that I’ve dealt
On my come up  
Can’t tell me **** bout my wealth
All this madness
Bad for my health
It’s tragic
Dreamin bout reality
Like its magic
Lately I’ve been feeling like
It aint gone happen
This my life story
Learn more of me
Really feelin unimportantly
Distant for a reason
Got Bipolar issues
Im like the seasons
Ion even mean it
My mind so ****** up
Please tell me that im dreamin
Hard to believe in
Gotta speak for myself
Tryna to open up
Like a lock in the safe
No im not okay
My best friend passed away
Its been messin with my brain
Hate to say it but
Im in pain
Can’t take it nomore
It remains
Forever