What if I were to **** myself
Not out of love lost ,
Not out of a broken heart,
Not out of lost hope or misplaced faith
But out of the fact that I didn't want to live anymore
What if I were smiling for so long my lips feels like they will never be normal
Should I crease my heart and let my lips fall into place ?
What if behind all the concealer my skin is still broken and confused
What if underneath my sleeves there are lines left behind by filed nails ?
If suicide wasn't in your book of survival is fleeing away acceptable ?
How is that in anyway different ?
Easier to say but hard to perform.
For I'm so distraught now I don't wanna live anymore
What if the deed is done and you find the bottle half empty
Will u ever forgive me ?
Will you put flowers on my grave every new year.
Wishing I was there to see the pretty fireworks my eyes couldn't see anymore.
Would you ever buy a white dress and know I wouldn't ever see you wear it or wear one no more ?
Or would you diminish my face forever?
Shove my memories in a shoe box disposed of in the bottom closet ?
Would you hate me for it?
Will you give my choice a definition ?
Too cowardly not to go on
Too scared to fall
Too sick of being afraid
So let me ask you again
Will you ever forgive me ?