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You expect it like it’s easy for me to open up like it’s easy to open up a bottle of water.
You assume it’s like drinking from a bottle with full throttle.
You suspect it’s like easy to learn the A B C’s, but I disagree.
In fact, let me tell you something it’s harder than you think.
So please sit down on the counter near the sink and listen to me scream because this isn’t a dream.
I am like a brick wall and trust me there tall.
It takes a lot for me to break them down.
You would have to a clown to think it’s easy for me to say how I feel and honey there’s a lot to heal.
I’ve been through the worst.
Sometimes I feel like I will burst like a volcano in Hawaii thirsty for the taste of the sea.
I’ve been bruised and beat to the ground and cried myself to sleep without one bit of a sound.
In the same way, as I felt like I was nothing else but a lost toy.
My heart was crushed by one certain boy ever since then, my walls have built taller than ever before.
I don't wanna live anymore
I'll drive fast and turn hard
Play with fire in the dark
Spin knives between my fingers hoping I slip and slice open my wrist

She wants me to live though.
So I'll climb the tallest mountains for her
I'll do anything to secure happiness in those beautiful gold and green eyes anything to see her beautiful crooked smile
I'll do what it takes if only for her
I'll live
 May 2017 Sydney Bittner
nivek
someone close by, within ear shot
has a very different approach to me

when it comes to grass they mow it down
and mow it down again.. real mower LOUD!

I go for the wild meadow, full of Bee food
a sedate pastoral overgrown scene.
 Feb 2017 Sydney Bittner
aj
pearls
 Feb 2017 Sydney Bittner
aj
i have learned to breathe under holy water -
grew gills so strong they are
lined with celestial gold.

the ocean is a puddle to me now.

and i ***** pearls of pain,
lick them clean with my acetylene
tongue.

my acids will heal what the world cannot.

pills and love potions  
can't take away
my virginity.

i am clean, so clean.

the devil watches me and
cringes at my radioactive light.

for i am dead and alive all at once.
poison, poison.

the radium drips from my lips like
babyspit and i am too pure
for god himself

so i offer my golden blood
to a higher power

that would take the pureness of it all
and make it an ounce
of what i could have been
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