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All I remember
is remembering it hurt,
memories are haunting me now
and reality altered into doubts.
The pale moonlit night
is full of futile tears,
crying for the hands
that once held me.

The hurricane in my heart
is crashing down all my senses
and changing those
that was in greater good
into countless worsts.
It is inevitable,
and killing me within,
and I was left nowhere
cursing the wind.

Every bridge I built
was already burned;
the particular journey
of this avowed love
is now over.
And all I remember
is remembering it hurt.
All Rights Reserved © 2013
my designs for you don't match your own
A telling tale of how far we've grown.

My lovely lines
all tangled and torn
yours won't bend or dip in time
too irregular for mine

Please don't design yourself around me any more
I confess; my heart lines are all messed!
I can bearly breathe I'm so tense
you don't take the care to give the freedom I do
my arches lay bare for you to go through
But You
reach right in and tie me in knots
its not the first time you forgot.

please don't draw your designs on me
they tangle me up so
don't choke me, please no,
I don't want to go.

Reaching for you has become a chore
more tangles and crossed lines than before

time to draw the line in the proverbial sand
Though you and I will still hold hands

please dont tangle me up any more
I promise not to too either I assure,

let's just draw our designs on either side
holding hands following the same line
and let the windy trails twist them up
as we leave them to mingle and twine.
I'll stay yours and you'll stay mine
and weave our way into a grand new design!
 Nov 2013 Susan O'Reilly
Anna
Our
                                         souls
are
                                                                                                                            composed
                                                         of....
 Nov 2013 Susan O'Reilly
Sia Jane
Why you standing over there?
out of reach, not out of sight
I don't want you to walk
out of that door now
I want you here, feeling you
breathing down my neck

I'm missing you, are you missing
me?
does your heart beat to the same
sound that mine, pulsates every
moment I see your face

Let me close that door so that
every thought of you shuts
banged closed
dissipates in space

Holding myself faithful can you
hear me whisper
your name?
in my sleep I am talking
to you
again
can you see me when your
eyes are closed?
the way I see you, day in
day out

Tiny steps vibrate through
my mind
holding your voice in my head
I hear you
in those dreams
they may be crazy
untrue
yet they keep me breathing
oxygen for
these lungs
catching breath

I'm staying up late
drinking again
all because
I probably
miss you.

Writing my heart out
in ways inarticulate
because these feelings
as hard as I fight
won't leave me
locked within
even the written word
with its choice of millions
are not enough
for what I feel
for you
and the love, I have.

© Sia Jane
we are all souls
floating along the
sea of consciousness
buoyed by the boats
of our bodies

(how avidly we cling
to our  tiny,
so easily malleable
boats!)

then again
i cannot blame those
who value their boats
so highly
when mine is floating
alongside yours

(perhaps we should consider
shippooling)
there are two
selves
fighting within me.
one wants
nothing but the
gratification
of anger, destruction
and on and on and on.
the other is so desperate to be liked,
needed, desired
and on and on and on.

i'm a run on sentence dwindling down
into a person
so small and petty
i mean nothing
despite all i have to say.
and what do i have to say anyway
aside from bitterness,
pity, anger
and on and on and on.

i'm trying to learn how to
breathe again
and how to exorcise the
chemicals.
i'm trying to bite back
all the things
that i do wrong.
i'm trying to fit in and to not be
an angry soul
with nothing but a shoulder cracked clean in two.
i'm trying,
breathing, exhaling, slowly disappearing
and on and on and on.
I wish I could warn my past,

                      I wish I could send a smoke signal
                                         or a telegram.
                      or a letter.
                                                         ­      Just to say,
                                                            ­  BE CAREFUL
you may become,

                                 so accidentally,

                                                  ­                                                                 ­  an ugly person
                                                                ­                                                     one day.
                                                            ­                                                                 ­            Love,
                                                           ­                                                                 ­             K
I sent it
At three AM
On one of those nights
Where silence gets violent
And I'm alone in my head.

I told you about the
Tiny pink pills
And how
If I took eight
I would sleep forever.
I gushed that
They were hidden
Under the toothpaste slathered
Countertop
In my bathroom.

I told you I loved you
But that
You weren't enough to stop me anymore.

I did actually consider it.
It was one of those nights.
But at some point,
As I laid on top of my comforter
And shivered under the fan,
I realized that
You weren't going to wake up
And convince me out of it.

I also thought
About how my mom was
A light sleeper.
How the floorboards would sound like
Orchestras
And the cabinet
Would be the symbals
To her.

I fell asleep
Numb,
But naturally numb,
And woke up wondering
What you would say.

You didn't say anything.
He had to get it anyhow
But the sleepy Sunday afternoon
Found all the shutters down

He had to get it anyhow
But a sad figure on the empty street
His sighs in himself drowned

He needed to get it anyhow
But it seemed fortune didn’t care
It couldn’t be ever found

He needed to get it anyhow
But his tries ended in despair
A life could bow out

If only he could get it anyhow
That small thing now priceless
He would forever treasure

If only he could get it anyhow
It would prolong a heartbeat
Reviving drops he could measure

On the sleepy Sunday afternoon
In search of a one penny dropper
A man a poet a philosopher
Was thwarted came a cropper!
A dropper to give a dying bird the measured dose of life saving medicine!
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