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***
The most awkward five minutes of my life.
I think,
therefore I am
thinking.

...At least I think I am...
Your eyes locked with mine,
Shifting back and forth between each,
Trying to read me like a book,
But your concentration was breached.

As you slowly inched closer,
Like a wolf stalking its prey,
I went against my natural instinct
And decided I needed to stay.

You grabbed my arm and pulled me in,
Close enough to hear the cadence of your heart.
I felt my own and realized our drums
Were playing the same exact parts.

In that moment you kissed me,
Slow at first as if to feel every cell of mine.
As you gradually intensified your suggestive touch,
Our bodies began to intertwine.

Your moan reminded me of a growl,
And I was ready to see your teeth.
My skin yearn for more
Of what you were hiding underneath.

Your hands, soft to the touch, seemed to change,
As if they transformed into paws.
All I felt was the digging,
The digging of your protruding claws.

Because I was ready…
I was ready for the irresistible pain.
Because any feeling I get when I’m with you
Is a feeling I want to remain.
Love is a wonderful thing
 May 2015 Summer Jackson
R
Untitled
 May 2015 Summer Jackson
R
You dug my grave and buried me alive, do you realize that?
Execerpt from a poem I won't post.
I'm glad you can.
 May 2015 Summer Jackson
R
Untitled
 May 2015 Summer Jackson
R
Come on Rach, give it a shot. It only hurts for a second
No, I cant. I made a promise. I only did it a few times but It has been forever.
You're worthless, I'm the only one that wants you. Why can't you want me back?
Because you're *bad
and I cant, I made a promise.
If she couldn't keep them, then why should you?
And for once, my old friend made sense.
**But, I *couldn't.
Excerpt
 May 2015 Summer Jackson
R
I did it so I wouldn't have to feel your fingers playing with it anymore
even though you're not here
and I did it because I knew you loved it and I was ready for a change and I thought you didn't love me, so I thought keeping it was useless
I needed it all to be gone, really. I figured if my skin cells won't know you one day, neither should my hair have to endure the pain anymore.
But then I remembered that no matter what I change, my heart and mind will always remember you.
I will always be reminded of the way you smell, of the way your eyes crinkle up when you laugh or smile, or the way your voice sounds on the phone at 3am.
So, I guess being reminded isn't such a bad thing.
But I can't allow myself to rely on you anymore, I need to remember who I was before you and to bring that into the person I am today.
Why did I do what I did?
Because I needed to learn how to do something for myself again,
because I forgot what it was like to do something that wasn't because I loved you or because I wanted to put you before anything and everything.
I just need to love myself again, purely because I am beautiful and I am worthy, without or without another person to tell me so.
I've forgotten how to love myself. May the next month away be a month of magnificent transformation for me and for all.
 May 2015 Summer Jackson
R
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 May 2015 Summer Jackson
R
I realized that they only care about you when you're close to death, but if only they knew that you already are dead.
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