I want him to become so dizzy with me that he forgets what language he speaks and has to make up his own

Starting and ending with my name

15 April 2014*

The sea is callin’ to me
The clouds hidin’ in the mountain
All the light explodin’ b’fore my eyes
The powdery sand coatin’ my feet
The footsteps left on the shore
Tryin’ to find, relivin’ you
I would’ve followed you,
Anywhere.

I caught myself—
Throwin’ pebbles at the sea,
Like how we used to skipping stones
And runnin’ across the bay
Until we get tired
And our cheeks sore ‘n’ red
Like the watermelons
We **** to quench
The thirst of our—
Youth 'n' childhood.

The sand in your hair
The sea in your eyes—
Deep as the colour of
The sky at high noon.
I miss them,
I could get drowned
Into them and never
Survive, but happily
Close my eyes
To feel the sun and
All your love.
For the last time,
Forever.

The freckles on
Your cheeks,
Remind me of those
Distant islets—
Neighbouring,
The beautiful summers
Of our lives.

We watched every sunset
Took a lot of photographs
I saw you surf,
Over ‘n’ under the waves
And thrown back into the sea,
Like a fish that—
Jumped out of the net.
You can't drown it,
In the water.

I remember the time,
When we had fun
Who knew happiness,
Can be intoxicating?
It was a brief,
Yet close encounter.
It’s summer once again
Everythin’ is comin’ back:
The people, the place
The mem’ry
Except— you
Never knew, I’d miss you
You’ve scarred ‘n’ left me,
Like sunburn—
Seven summers, later.

15 April 2014

In a few hours, we will
Grow apart from each other.
I will never see you again
But maybe, you will see me.
Passin’ along the way,
Never knowin’ who you are.
But for now—
Let me miss you,
Just until I don’t.

It’s rather a strange time
When we met, I was down
Broken into bits ‘n’ pieces
Of the universe and her.
But you seemed to care
About me ‘n’ liked
My flaws and everythin’
In between my legs.

On the other hand,
I still couldn’t find anythin’
That I don’t like
About her.
In fact, I believed—
That we are the mundane,
Jack and Rose
In this lifetime
A hundred and two years later
And countin’, still…

But you—
You are different from her,
Like how the silence
Would fill the war room.
There’s no tinge of uneasiness to it
Our breaths cadence with each other
Our hands found their ways
To remove the cloths that bound us
Our lips meet in utter urgency
It was comforting.
Somethin’ inside you
Made me safe
To anchor my ship
And dock in your harbour
As the storm ravages
Everythin’ that’s left
Of the universe and her, and I

Every morning, I try to
Figure out what went wrong.
But “nothin’” was all—
She could ever say to me
I was hopin’ she’d say
That I messed up, that
We couldn’t be what we are b’fore
Or there wasn’t much—
To talk about anymore,
Anythin’, but nothin’
Really at all.

The silence is dreadful,
I no longer felt safe.
The comfort of havin’ her,
Was replaced with—
Great amount of uneasiness.
I was hurt and felt—
Unwanted.
Lately, it’s hard to see her
With strangers around
Who’s a thousandfold
Interestin’ than me.
But it’s harder to see her,
In ethereal happiness with them.

Maybe the universe wants
Me to love you and forget her,
But I miss her and I love her
Probably too much—
That I still wear my heart on my sleeve.
You— you’re just a loose change
Of everythin’ that we’ve through.
Here’s two cents of my thoughts:
You can have me,
But you can never love me.
The universe and her, and I—
We are the mundane,
Jack and Rose*
After all…

15 April 2014*

Sometimes, I want to push you
To the edge, past your breakin' point
See what happens afterwards
How can you handle yourself?
Put you in a lot of stress
Strain your spirit
Consume your love
No matter what’s
Little left inside

I’m raw 'n' ruthless—
I’m gonna burn you down
‘til all your ashes flitter up
And settle on a damp
Ground, to kiss my feet
And cleanse my soul.
I have wronged you,
I can never be forgiven.
I have broken a promise,
But it’s not made to be—
It was already broken,
Long b’fore t’was made.

I can love you better,
Than I will ever be—
But my mistakes already
Caught fire, spreadin’
Like wildfire, unstoppable.
Destroyin’ everythin’
That’s comin’ its way
Slowly, your water
Is softly killin’ me
Yet I don’t care at all
I’m dying, losin’ my fire
You’re tryin’ to save me
But you can’t—
B’cause I am fire
And you are water
We can love each other,
But we can never be together.

You know the drill,
When you hear that sound.
You have to do what’s right
Or I will lose you and
Everythin’ that we can ever be.
I cannot live on ashes of regret,
This love I can never forget.
Keep the red button of my shirt,
The sign of my undyin’ love.
So when the time comes,
That you have to choose
Between me and them—
Don’t worry, I’ll be fine
Just hold me in your arms
And push the fire alarm

14 April 2014*

On quiet mornings like this
The fog withdraws b'fore the dogs brawl
The shroud of despair covers me
Like last night's cold sheet
All over us, like some unseen wall
Wherein we cannot hear each other
You don’t talk to me–
You no longer do.
I wish, I would know why
I wish, you would say somethin'

I miss you, like that—
The sun, exploding b’fore
Raybans and endless blue sky
At sunflower fields where
We play hide ‘n’ seek
You flash a smile at me,
Like how the sunflowers—
Follow the sun
All through the day
‘til it got away.

I was just a wayfarin' stranger,
B’fore I was your summer love.
I was out of your plans,
You didn’t see me comin'.
I was not part of the symmetry—
The Fibonacci sequence
That runs in your blood
In your hair, in your skin,
In your heart.

I am just a distraction—
In the morning, you will see
The light, guidin' you
Some orbit, holdin' you in place
'til you complete a cycle
Of your seasonal journey;
Prized seeds of youthful aspirations

You will wilt, soon enough
And close your eyes
After the crows devour
On your dreams—
Nightmares that fed,
On exotic seeds.
But I am here, guardin’ you
Will scare them ‘til they—
Fly away ‘n’ never come back,
Like this once summer
We all ever have.
For our love ‘n’ happiness
Only grown in sunflower fields

14 April 2014*

Love is love.
*** is ***.
Don't be confused.

14 April 2014*

Last night, you stayed with me
You listened to my thoughts
As I looked deep into your eyes
I tried to understand
What you feel.

I gave myself to you
We consumed what we can
But you're huge ‘n’ high as the stars
Implodin' inside my head
I’m not good enough for you.

In the morning, you left
Faded like those stars last night
Not a trace of love
Not a strand of hair
Not a kiss mark on my neck.
All the light shattered
On the windows
Blinded by love
In the shadows

I left my bed, the way it is
Look at you in the picture frame
Kiss you long ‘n’ close enough
But only cold glass met my lips
I wipe my tears,
B’fore they dry
Never knowin’ if I can
See you again
This evening
Or if last night
Was the last

15 March 2014*

Right from the start,
Our fates had been drawn.
You and me—
Like magnets
Of the same pole
Never to attract
As one.

We will always
Repel each other
No matter how hard
We try, we just don’t
Get along together
And in every passing
Of time, our universe
Widens, guarded
By a force field
That does not know
About love

We are stronger,
Than the things that—
Hinder our cause.
We don’t blame,
Ourselves.
Our nature or
What we’re made of—
The fault does not,
Lie within us.
It’s in our stars,
Written before
We’re even born

You may choose
To follow the path
Laid and foretold by
Constellations,
Broken bones and fire
Slipping through
Our cracks
Or make your own
From sticks ‘n’ stones

But I—
I am ready to fall
Fit into your trap
Win or loose
Dead or alive
I’ll do what it takes
To be with you
Forever and a day
I love you, even we’re—
Thwarted by bad luck
I don’t mind us, being
Star crossed lovers