She cries late
                  every night
     Turns off all the
                           lights
         Sits in bed
bawls
             her eyes out
      in the dark
Cutting out pieces
      of her heart
No one can see
                          the scars
           of her sewing
back up her chest
       Soon she will be
             an empty shell
        Hopefully
                    putting her soul to rest
If her heart
                    is no longer there
It can't get broken,
              right?
If no one can see
                          the tears
Then she never cried,
                     right?

some days

some days i wake up
feeling warm and lovely and happy
feeling whole and right in who i am and what i appear to be

some days i go to bed
barely holding my eyes open against the weight of dreams
barely staying in reality a moment longer

some days i want to create
a dream of imagines on paper
and spill the ink of my mind out onto the world,
eagerly showing the creations of my mind and what excites me as far as
what i can imagine and bring out of the ethereal into the only slightly more tangible inner chambers of my mind palace

other days
i want to destroy
to tear, end to end, the world i have created in my mind and every piece of it i have brought into existence
to shred myself to pieces to rid the universe of such and inadequate creature as myself who dares feel more comfortable as a fluid being, more free to explore and weave in and out of the norms set by society

and then i fall, weak and hollow, to my knees,
full of life and brightness that has been pressed to aside by the gaping holes of heaving singularities within my gut and soul
and i feel dark
and wrong
and numb

but then every so often i get a spark of light in the inky dark of me

and it flutters close

circling my form slowly and giving out the slightest bit of light and warmth

sometimes this first Good Thought or Good Feeling will be crushed
snatched from the air in the claws of a demonic and wild gargoyle

but even so, one by one the light spots will gently blanket the gargoyles,
forcing them to lie in wait once more

for who can fight the gentle persistence of a butterfly

There’s this beautiful girl at my school
And she smokes a pack a week

And she’s pregnant


She’s got beautiful eyes and that’s all I can see
Her baby will have beautiful eyes too.

And she moans out loud in the lunchroom, “man, I’m going to be so fat in a few months.”


And I swear to god that whenever I see her,
I want to lift up her shirt
and press my cheek against the life beating inside her
and hope that it soaks into my pores
So I can feel something as real as that.

But when I have a baby girl someday
I will love her
Like I love the taste of a grapefruit on hot summer days
I will love her like every ****** I have ever had
I will love her like every prayer I have ever whispered in my car
I will love her like how I miss my dad sometimes

And my baby girl will know that I love her because when I put her on one of those horses on the carousel, I will kiss her hand every time she comes back around to me
and I’ll miss her every second she’s away

And I’m going to teach her so much more than her daddy ever could.



My baby girl’s gonna learn that everybody’s going to die someday
So she should try to meet everyone as soon as possible.

And I’m gonna make sure she never has *** with a person she doesn’t love
But I’m gonna make sure she falls in love every day.


I’ll teach my baby girl to love the way I’ll love her
and then

I’ll love her more every day
until I die or
until I forget whose hands are attached to my wrists.
But I'm sure I’ll remember
when she holds them.

I sing for you my friend
Be safe, be strong, be all you are and more
You are beautiful
You are special
You are loved
I know you are troubled
You’ve got personal trials
Your inner fights
Your own battles
I’ve heard you say, “I’m ugly”
I’ve heard you say, “I’m nothing special”
I’ve heard you ask, “Why do you love me?”
I know I've said the same
But you are beautiful, inside and out
From your skin to your heart
But you are the most special person to me
For I trust you as a best friend
But you deserve love as no one else, and as all do
Since you are you and no other
So listen to this song and know you’ve always got
My shoulder to cry on
My hand to hold
My everything to be
I love you with an intense fiery passion
The flame’s color only dependent
On our relationship
Best friends, you burn yellow as sun and lemon and sand
Old friends, you burn orange as citrus and rust and balloons
Romantic friends, you burn red as blood and apples and flowers
The comedic and entertained, you burn green as grass and words and ether
The sad and most troubled, you burn purple as violets and poison and art
And the ones I love most? You burn blue-white, the hottest flame of all
The blue-white of shells and ice and sky
So to my friends all:
Know this and hear my song
You are beautifully stunningly gorgeous
You are more special than the stars you wish on
You are more loved than I can ever say
To me you are everything
Love and Laughter
Food and Drink
Breathe and Life

What's a girl with a face to you anyway?
Just another human with the curse of curves?
Someone to be the heroine to your heroics?
A girl you won't write songs about?
Most definitely not the only exception
The liquor to make you love drunk
The one to tell you 'give me love'
Who will say 'kiss me' but only to be loved
Not necessarily a girl to be your everything
Just the one to follow your lightning with thunder
A girl who hoped you see two is better than one
She doesn't want to be a secret valentine
It won't take long for her to fall for you
Cause everyone knows most boys like girls
And she'll take a rocket to the moon
Just to hear a secondhand serenade from you
Don't let me fall and I'll be that girl for you
But not just a girl with a face

Hello again love
Welcome back to my heart
You're so familiar
But you feel different this time
Like an old friend in a new time
A bit softer and warmer in feel
But met with harder and colder feelings
A little more giving and embracing
But met with eager thirst
And hungry greediness
I'm hesitant to accept you
If only because I hurt
And have been hurt
And will be hurt
But you want to change that this time
You're the same
But you're different
I think I love you better now