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Act One
Scene: a blue room with white curtains all drawn together tight
A broken record player filling my mouth with buzzing noise
You sit on the couch the way a queen sits on a conquered city
My eyes blind themselves with the dark of your hair

Time: When the sun and the moon collide

This is the part where I meet you
Where I really meet you
Where I get to know the inside of your cheek
The beating of your fluttery heart
The bruises on your sides like blooming roses
The soft hush of your words melting into my mouth

We play at lovers in a game that isn't our own

Act Two
Scene: Flashing lights sending the room into a flurry of technicolor madness
A bottle of ***** burning my throat like swallowed wooden matches
In a sea of movement you turn into a deity all on your own
My hands shake from the inside out and it is nothing, it is nothing

Time: When the waves engulfed the shore

This is the part where I hate you
Where I don't really hate you
But I hate him and him and her and him
And the way you are holding on to bones that are not my own
The clawing at my chest
The blood spinning in my head
The way you mean everything to me
And I don't even cast a shadow in your world
The way you shine and all I can do is long

I never meant for jealousy to wear my skin like a tailored suit

Act Three
Scene: An empty street and a lonely light
Jagged bricks digging into the soft part of my neck
You lean on a car and you don't look me in the eye
My tongue bleeds from all the words I cannot say

Time: When the stars fall from the sky

This is the part where I lose you
Except that I don't really lose you
Because in order to lose something, you must first have it
And I never had you
But I did keep your butterfly laugh in the cracks between my ribs
Your favorite lipstick in the pocket of my jacket
The broken shards of your full length mirror buried in my hands

I knew some people always loved more, always loved less, but I never knew you didn't love at all

Act Four
Scene: a blue room with white curtains all drawn tight
A broken record player imitating life
You are nowhere to be found  and yet your ghost keeps popping around
My spine creaks from the weight of the world, of love, of you

Time: When the moon stills sing for the morning light

This is the part where I wait for you
Where I really wait for you
Because I am stupid and naive and hopelessly hopeful
And maybe it's pathetic
But I'm still waiting for the sound of your heavy footsteps
Your red sweater on my desk
The warmth of your presence
For you to love me back

I'm still waiting for you to come back
 Mar 2016 starry night
Torin
Sublime
 Mar 2016 starry night
Torin
I don't have
                       to
                           do
                                Anything


Just               ­                                         Be

Just breathe
And let the world
Come
          to
              me
Because
I was made to enjoy sunsets
And starlight
The way the waves roll on the beach
And
        really
Nothing I can do
Can make
What is truly
        S
          U
             B
                L
                   I
                     M
                         E

More beautiful
 Mar 2016 starry night
Star Gazer
I stopped looking both ways when I cross roads
In the end.
Nothing really matters,
Why should I even bother.
Crossing roads to get to your destination
In the end, no matter how much patience
You have. Somehow you will still
Be walking to your destination alone.
There's no points looking both ways crossing the road
There's no point breathing.
 Mar 2016 starry night
Star Gazer
I poured tears into my pillowcase again last night,
I really hope this feeling of losing love goes away.
I haven’t been talking for a while, nothing to say,
because when i do speak, my voice becomes tight
trying to choke away the tears and I’m scared i might,
Break down in front of my family in the light of day.
I tried telling my heart, no your love will not decay...
But I’m gambling in the hopes of a dimming light.
I can feel my heart break,
Like a physical pain in my chest,
And my breaths are coming out ragged
Because the words you spoke
Are tearing me apart

But you don't notice
Because you're angry at yourself
And my feelings seemed not to matter
And it makes me feel that
I would be better off dead
This is my life.
 Mar 2016 starry night
m i a
and when you lay your head down,
and allow all of the dark thoughts to make you wish you were dead, as a slow frown appears upon your lips,

just close your eyes,
and simply think of me,
let me outshine all of that darkness,
just like the stars do in the midnight skies.
my friend and i haven't been able to talk as much, and i wrote this for him when we're apart.
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