The darkness is lightened
By the stars in the sky
And I am not frightened
With you by my side

You hold my hand
As we lie in the grass
We talk about our favorite bands
And things from our past

We discuss the earth, moon, and sun
And the origins of life
We wonder why people use guns
And why there is so much strife

You stare into my eyes
Moonlight twinkles in yours
For a moment we are hypnotized
Then the rain starts to pour

Both of us laugh
We leap off the ground
The sky shows its wrath
And you twirl me around

With your hands on my waist
We enjoy the refreshing shower
I can feel our hearts race
And the world feels like ours

Everyday I ask,
How could it be,
That someone like you,
Could fall for someone like me.

Holding your hand,
Looking in your eyes,
First time I notice,
They're as blue as the skies.

Not one for love.
Before I met you,
But you stole my heart,
So I'll steal yours too.

I come to you,
With my heart on my sleeve,
Isn't it amazing,
What love can achieve.

I love you,
And that's all I know,
You say you feel the same,
So lets take it slow.

Standing there,
With your lips on mine,
Loving the moment,
Feeling tingles up my spine.

Without you,
I'm broken in half,
My world is shattered,
Without your laugh.

Everyday I ask,
How could it be,
That someone like you,
Could fall for someone like me.

I roll into the restaurant
Late afternoon.
I lay out forks and knives
(I don't mess with spoons).

When I'm carrying your plates
Rock to this tune
Cause I'm bringing this check
To your party real soon.

I walk into the kitchen
And I grab your food.
I'll give you lots of ketchup
If I'm in the mood.

There's a dude
At the bar
Who's asking for my digits.
When I bring him his drink
You know I'm gonna spit in it!

No, you can't take me home.
You can't get with this.
Let's  just play my favorite game
Called "just the tip"!

Dropped your napkin?
I'll get you another.
You want some chicken wings?
I got your back, my brother!
But you gotta let me know about allergies
(Cause I almost killed a guy last week
With sesame seeds).

My boss is sittin it
In the office
Sipping coffee.
When I leave here ill take a ***
Of tax-free money.

Don't get time off,
Not a cigarette break.
I can barely pay the rent
With the dough that I make.

I am your waitress.
Take a good look at me
This is not what I had planned
For my life at twenty-three
But I'll do this for now
'Til my career shoots to the moon
But til then,

Thanks so much,
And come again soon!

For my "Big Brother".*
Love Always, *****.

You said it was adorable
The way my hair curled
around the hollows of my neck
Brushing across my skin
like a
n o o s e

You said my looks could shatter glass,
that my repugnant features
would SURELY guarantee a life of solitude
You loved to point out my flaws
And how my laugh was too late
breathing too loud
walking too fast

The shallow scars on my wrists
were alluring to you
you encouraged me to make more
and I loved the kiss of cold metal just a little too much
and
you
loved
that
I
loved
it.

You said you understood me
my thoughts were dark and scattered
I wasn't always able to share them with you
But I didn't need to
you already
"u n d e r s t o o d"

my dark companion
the only one I ever trusted
We fought our demons together
Dragging the other to hell as well

You wasted no time in telling me
what a waste I was
of skin
of space
and I wasted no time in  b e l i e v i n g  you

You would hold me in your arms
and whisper bittersweet nothings
compliments with a hard slap attached
convincing me I was far more flawed than I am.

We fought like rabid wolves
growling,
hissing,
howling,
circling,
nipping at my ankles,
you'd force me to f a l l.

tearing and ripping apart flesh
with words
and my feeble palms
left angry red marks on your chest and face
but my struggle only made you more eager

Every tear that fell from my face
gave you life
every sob that came from my throat
gave you a voice
you could not stand alone
you said
y o u  c o u l d   n o t   l i v e   w i t h o u t   m e

You said I didn't understand you
that I could never comprehend the torment YOU
were experiencing
I was FAR too dull to see.

It wasn't until I realized
I didn't need to play your childish games
I didn't need you
or your "passionate, intense" heart.

Once I stopped hitting back
your blows became harder

Not worthy of love.

Not worthy of life.

Not worthy of existence.

And I believed you.
I trusted you.

E n d   i t,
you said.
Peering down at the street far below us

You said to.

The height was dizzying

Y o u   s a i d
"Jump."

I know how I see myself
but
I can't stop myself from wondering

who am I in the eyes of everyone else?

when someone asks me a question
during a discussion in CWP
and everyone hears me
as i stumble over my words
in the center of that quiet room,
trying to answer the simple question-
"how does that makes you feel?"
and i wonder,
how does my stumbling and stuttering
make them feel,
about me?
does it change anything?

Or when i go to bed
thinking about
the conversations i've had during the day
and wondering how those friends see me.

I've never asked,
never had the guts.

My self esteem has always been low
I've always hated myself,
Sometimes i just hope
the smiles are true,
the friendships, true.

I've never asked

Who am I?




©Brandon Webb
2012

When I was younger
I realized that if I only liked one girl at a time
only thought about one
I became obsessive and never ended up with her
lately i've realized-
If I think about several girls at once
and tell myself
I'll give the thoughts of the others up
If I ever
end up with any of them-
I don't get obsessive,
I get confused
but confused is not obsessive
confusion limits how extreme I allow my emotions to become
but having any feelings at all
for a girl
is enough for me to fall for her if it ever comes to that point
but tracking multiple lives
and often getting so extremely confused
leaves me unable
to break through my shyness
and anxiety
to take a chance with any of them.
Just because I write about other girls
don't assume i'm not thinking about you
you're here
I just find it impossible to write about people who may read
what i've written about them.
I write about you
in my head
but rarely write any of it down
sometimes I hope you do the same

right now-
I hope you read your name out of this
and aren't offended

She sits there
fifteen feet from me
alone.
tears are frozen in her eyes
have been for a few days.
I know how she gets,
I used to wipe away those tears.
But now I just sit here and pretend not to notice
because she told me to.
And that's what hurts-
not that she told me to-
but that I can't disobey
and go sit there.

She's right there
fifteen feet from me,
my red, dilated eyes
and bleeding legs
screaming her name
or rather screaming the fact that I couldn't scream her name
couldn't whisper it,
couldn't even get close enough
that if I had whispered it, she would have heard me.
But she's right there
and she doesn't hear me anyway.
So why am I bleeding?
Why am I high?
Why am I broken?
She doesn't care