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  Apr 2017 S cape
Sylvia Plath
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
S cape Apr 2017
We're all just kids
Who grew up way too fast
Hoping to get to the good days
Wishing the good days would last
S cape Apr 2017
Time to clean up for the big man
Before I bring myself in God's home
Facing the big man never scared me
A life with him does
My friend wrote this in her journal not taking credit for this at all she is insanely talented and I love her
S cape Apr 2017
In the spotlight
That is not me
Behind the scenes
No one will ever see
I like that writing offers me comfort
I may be a ****** poet and I'll accept my own criticism
But the pages of my journal are my canvas
One where my life is portrayed
Captured in high definition
Lacking photo shop or an edit
No one knows I like to write and that's the greatest comfort of it all
It's my own little secret
I am my own Dorian Gray locking my portrait and hiding it forever
My friends don't know I write and neither does my mother
My teachers don't know I write and neither does my brother
It's a safety net under a thin line between sanity and insanity threatening to part their ways-
With insanity inevitably winning the tug of war of course
The therapeutic scribbles add to the thickness
They offer a chance
The uncontrable brush strokes work hard against gravity
Behind the scenes I am working on a masterpiece
S cape Apr 2017
It's your eyes
          And your shaky hands
And the way you swat your hair out of your eyes
with your shaky hands
It's the way you're not afraid of confrontation
And the way you grasp your water bottle when the trembles begin at school
It must be out of habit right?
Cluctching a bottle for comfort offers familiarity?
Yeah I get it
It's easy to detect
You reek of anxiety
It's almost
            contagious
Everyone feels it like the seasonal flu
But you hit me hard this time
And I mean hard enough to keep me in bed for days
Enough to stare at my ceiling until everything I knew turned into a daze
Enough to leave me trembling with chills and a fever
Enough to choke on my words
Enough to lose my voice
Enough to call out sick
                    Enough
It's not really the flu
But you get the gist
You're contagious
S cape Apr 2017
She blames it on never being around love or affection
Her household lacks common commodities
Her family does not know "love"
They do not know "communication"
Or "consistency"
She's never seen Stability a day in her life
Her parents bed lays one side undone
Where the other half belongs-
Lays sheets sprawled out on the couch downstairs
Her parents never seemed to love each other
They didn't seem to love her either
They didn't even care to hide it
But good thing she's known Independence since before she could walk
They seemed to get along well
And that's who she relied on
Yes
Independence
Independence was her friend
She promised to never leave him behind
Or rely on another hand
She promised to love him unconditionally
And never put her weight on anyone else
She promised to hold him tight
Afraid of letting him pour out
And giving her all to someone
Who might not be right
Independence was for her
And he's all she would trust
This way the bed would surely always be completely undone
No sheets on the couch
No child left behind
Independence would love her
On him she could rely
  Apr 2017 S cape
Lydia
I hated you
I hated you more than I probably understood how to hate
I hated your green eyes and I hated all of the time I wasted staring at them
I hated how you didn't believe in me
I hated how all I was to you was a story that you didn't have to read
but hate doesn't make sense
You can't tear down a tree just because it makes oxygen
If all I was was static than maybe you learned something
Maybe you learned tbat all of those colours on the TV screen were breathing
Maybe you learned the sounds of a heartbeat other than your own
Maybe you learned that somebody could love beautifully with every cell in their body,
Even if you couldn't
Things didn't have to make sense after you
I fell just as much in love with the things I didn't know as I had with your retinas
This is what stronger looks like
All of the cursive loops that make my teachers happy
I didn't understand how to hate you,
I was lost in all these memories that drifted in and out of my bloodstream
You were in there somewhere, I think
In there with all of the things love couldn't describe
Maybe you were a clot and that's why I left you
I did a lot of leaving after you
A lot of doors closed behind me
I lost a lot of good people
I didn't know that love was going to hurt me
I didn't know that love was going to tell me that I wasn't good enough
I didn't know that love could hide for so long that I thought it was dead and still come back,
Pretending to sew up all the damage in its unexpected wake
You were supposed to be beautiful
Please comment! :)
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