you're such a foreign concept
you're a complexity that can't be measured on a scale of one to ten
you're a paradox
you're a star yet to collapse
you're a light at the end of a tunnel

actually...

you're none of those.

you were my world.
you were a complexity
I suppose I saw through your facade in the end.

i love you.

i love you like your need
to always get the last word.

i love you like your love
for music. i love your focus.

i need you.

i need you like the stars
need to shine.

i need you like the seastar
needs the saltwater to live.

i want you.

i want you like a volcano
wants to destroy.

i want you like a writer
wants to immortalize his love.

*i love you.

know this
distance doesn't matter
time doesn't matter
situation doesn't matter
when you need a shoulder to cry on
or even someone to keep you going
i will be there

i have a shirt that smells like you
i still taste you on my tounge
but after what you did
and what you put me through
the once pleasurable sensations
have become nausiating to think about

im so done trying
to be the person you want
to be there for you
to be your friend
i am done

im newly single today
newly confused
newly hurt
newly lost

but im also
newly
free

I figured
I'm going to stop
messaging you first
because I know
if I wasn't saying "hi"
we wouldn't be talking

I want to tell you so much
but I know I'm just a side character in your main story
and I don't mean as much to you
as I really hope I do

this is what I get for being confident
for being proud of my body for once
inevitable sadness
and the feeling of self loathing
and also
feeling as if
I'm never good enough.

i just had my heart
broken
in the most painful
way
that you can, which is
by
someone you thought
would
always come back

i used to think
i wasn't okay
and i wasn't happy
but then
you came
and changed it
and made me
feel different
and for that
I
am
thankful

you took
every bit of happiness
and stored it
in a fragile case

you took
all my love
and stored it there, too

so when
you dropped
my case

my happiness
and love
were shattered

and you
walked away
still whole

so i'm sorry
for asking for more
and hoping
and praying
you felt the same
and hoping
and praying
the nights up meant
something
obviously
i
was
wrong

i hate to quote a song
but they say that love is forever
i hate to quote a movie
but we accept the love we think we deserve
i thought i deserved more
i thought  our love was forever
but it was 2 AM
and you left me
**again