If I could fix the trust I broke
If I could fix the hearts I've shattered
If I could mend minds
I would
If it meant giving up a part of me,
I would
But I can't though I can try
Trying won't change the past
and sometimes it doesn't change anything at all
but my heart's still yours
If I could fix anything
I would
But I can't even fix myself
I can hardly hold myself together most of the time

Staring at my bedroom walls
plain white
I paint pictures
inside my mind
what could be,
what is,
what was,
what will never be

Words pour out of my ears,
as I turn another page
of a book I recently started reading

Mind is wandering,
here, there, everywhere
Places unknown

Ink smudges
as I run my hand over the words
of my soul
poured out onto a page
for none to see
but all to know

We live in a big world
and maybe we're all lost
Maybe just in the mind,
maybe we're not where we want to be
and maybe we never will
Always wondering
"What do I do,
What do I say?"
Seeking acceptance
when we don't need it from anyone
but inside us,
is one heart.
One heart that beats
to keeps us alive.
We're not here to please anyone.
We all make mistakes
lost in a mind that doesn't know
We're all lost in a big world
Someone, just someone,
I'm wishing you'd get lost with me
Hearts wander
mine's somewhere that isn't here,
and maybe,
if someone asked if I could go somewhere or to someone...
Maybe the only place you'd want to be
is with someone.
Maybe you're just lost,
alone,
in the world we don't know
Braving it with just your own two feet

We all want to be an inspiration for something
Mine's just to live.
I want to be able to say,
that I helped someone stay alive
instead of saying that I made them want to die...
When they fell,
gave up time and time again,
and didn't want to continue.
I want to be able to say I helped someone,
just one
People have made me want to save myself
I want to return the favor.

You know,
    I've been thinking
Maybe a little too much
but you realize
people don't care if you leave
people don't care if you disappear
people don't need you
you don't need anyone
You break your own heart sometimes
You make mistakes
and they all see
and they all leave
and when you're alone,
after you think,
you see.
Loneliness is a place
to recollect yourself
even somewhere you don't want to be
even if you don't want to
it's a slow trek,
a long and winding road.
You'll make it though.
Even if you don't think you will
and when you're left with no hope,
just keep going...
you'll find something.
eventually.

I need to escape
I want to get away from this place
Bury my head in my hands
And just let the tears fall from my face

I want to runaway
From everything and everyone
Leave without a trace
And never look back at this place

So carve my name into your chest
and send me pictures, dear.

Write me letters in the red
and bottle all the tears.

Call me an angel.
Tell them I'm lying.
Scream it 'til your words make sense.

Fill your lungs with hatred
and spew out penitence.

Because you know with all your silent flames
and pledged ambivalence,
You know with all the months and years
of burning my pictures as incense.
You know that I'm your demons.
The burden that you bear.
I drove you to hysteria,
you say I brought you there.

So discard your kilogram of flesh
to punish me, my dear.
Leave it at my doorstep,
sweet nostalgia for my tears.

Tell me I tore you apart.
Whisper that I ripped out your reason.
And I will say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I will say this.

But you never voiced your anguish,
your complete disappointment in me.
How was I to know that it was I
who drove you to insanity?