They recall far too well

They keep count
of the exact amount of
milk and sugar
in her Earl Grey tea.

They take note of
how she won’t allow
bar fruit
to swim in her drink.

They catalog the precise shades of
white, pink and red.

They never forget a body
or face.

They were unobservable last night
at dinner
with so much light mirroring
the windows

Completely unnoticed
while we staggered
between the bums and youth
of downtown.

When we danced,
when she laughed,
with her cool fingers
slick on my skull,

when the downstairs neighbors
banged on the ceiling

when she said that I was…,

I was alone with her.

But this morning,
too many hours after cocktails,
with her skin fuzzy bright
all the sun leaking in,

I could feel the metallic glint
of their stares.

Close but not too close.
not close enough to hold on to but
close.

When they took the air,
I could feel black feathers
beating my ribs.

The crows,
they know and always remember.

We eat breakfast at the diner
two blocks up the street
I shew shewed them away
while she was distracted reading the menu

but I saved the crust of my toast
to feed them later.

I've been waiting 68 days
22 hours
13 minutes
and 51 seconds
To literally bump into you
I hear the things they say
But they couldn't be true
You my friend are not small and shallow
With a height of 5'9
You tower over me
And your boyfriend is unattractive
So you must look deeper than
What the eye can see
Yes i've been waiting 69 days
21 hours
14 minutes
and 52 seconds
For you to notice me
Is it really that difficult
I know I don't stand out in a crowd
But if anyone were to go against our love
Your hand I would hold proud
Proud to have you as mine
I've been waiting this long
So what's a little more time??
Day 70
Is only one more than 69
And I'd love to 69
Well only if you'd let me
I've heard of your history with Jeffrey
He was boy 71
You smiled and laughed with him
Was he that much fun?
I know about the others too
Like Hinson boy 42
Or John 38
Didn't he show up to your date late?
And Kahlil 37 supposedly got robbed at 7/11
I know that must of been hard for you
But I've waited 2 long
Yes I've been standing by this pole four 3 hours
Just waiting to catch a glimpse of blue
Your favorite color
It honestly has become mines too
I've been waiting 71 days
19 hours
16 minutes
And 54 seconds
For my 1 and only....
You

If ever I kissed you..
You'd spit in my face
Because that's the kind of person you are...

The alcohol had drained out of my system but my body felt like a train had collided with it, but trust me, this wasn't a hangover. This was my eyes being to heavy to open because I knew when I woke, you wouldn't be in my line of vision. This was my lips being on fire and they craved your lips to put out the flame again. This was the knots in my hair that only your fingers running through my scalp could untangle. This was last nights make up streaming down my face but I couldn't fix it because without you to wipe away my tears, what was the point? This was the fact that I spent hours of my day on the bathroom floor because my heart was shattered, my lungs were dry and my ribs were cracked and my stomach craved to be as empty as you made the rest of me feel. This was a lot of things but this  wasn't a hangover. It took the disguise of one though, much like the devil in you disguised it's self as an angel, so I'll let everyone believe it was just a bad hangover, nothing a few Advil can't fix. It's so much easier than explaining how my body gave up on me at the same time you did.

Hair gray, glistening with wisdom.
Wrinkles carved by life’s ordeals.
Eyes blinded by decades of vigilance.
Ears failing from listening to our distress.
Hands shaking, frail from lifting spirits.
Legs aching for always leading the way.
Throat sore from hours of discourse.
Back curved, encumbered by our worries.
Heart swollen with unconditional love.

Pray a little, cry a little
To keep bad thoughts at bay
Kiss a little, hug a little
So your feelings you convey
Make a little, give a little
Contribute if you may
Work a little, play a little
Balance out your day
Laugh a little, smile a little
Spread the joy, with your display
Teach a little, learn a little
Let knowledge pave your way
Pause a little, gaze a little
Enjoy the beauty of the quay
Love a little, care a little
What else is there to say
WIZDUMBs BY JA 453

“Childhood only exists”
“While its innocence lives”
“In time, it is replaced”
“By what, our invidious reasoning gives”          WIZDUMBs BY JA 223      

When I was very young, some years before my teens
Before those wild ambitions, invaded all my dreams

I was naive, yet unafraid; my life was filled with awe
I ran and played, unperturbed, exploring things I saw

I had no needs, beyond my own; no greed had yet set in
Not then aware, that my needs, could evolve into a sin

I had no great desires, put no value, on what I lent
There was no hidden meaning, no reward, in my intent

I had no inhibitions, had not yet tasted fear
I marveled at the joys of life, which now I hold so dear

I rushed headlong thru life, and gave it not a thought
Back then, knew not life’s lessons, still needed to be taught

All of my convictions, lived free within my heart
Before my brain took hold, and tore them all apart

My innocence of reasoning, was good and sweet and pure
This loss of childlike judgement, one day I would endure

I thought not of, what I should do; back then I had no clue
Thus unafraid, tried everything, and so my knowledge grew

With each mistake, I’d try again; from each a lesson drew
Discovered life, not as it seemed, and so, would start anew

I searched for all the answers, to things I did not know
Unknowing that this knowledge; would corrupt my soul

I did not yet, discriminate; knew not that color mattered
This crystal mirror image, for me, was also shattered

My innocence preceded, all I thought and dreamed
Until I finally realized, that the world had intervened

I discovered that not always, black was black nor white is white
That sometimes right was wrong, and sometimes wrong is right

That friends do come and friends do go, but our wish, is to belong
And each of us, must prove our worth, for a friendship to be strong

That family blood; makes our bonds, much closer than the rest
In times of need, if good or bad, our family stands the test

And so my childhood ended, life’s road got in the way
The consequences of my choices, have led me to this day

A life once lived and filled, with the ease of its simplicity
Now sadly acquiesced, to its contrived, duplicity
BOEMS BY JA 239