If I wear a gold chain
In my hair
Instead of around my neck
Am I gangster?
Stereotypes
****.

Ok
So they say
That you become most
Like the ones you are
Around the most
Is that because
Every time you exhale you lose a
Fragment of your soul
Then everytime you inhale you take in a part of another's
Then your last breath would be the very last fragment of your soul

The light of day slowly seeps in
as the gentle patter of rain becomes louder
Dissonant syncopation in the distance
It's gentleness soothes me in ways mostly forgotten

Let me sleep in a little longer
Lazily enjoying the romance of water and window
Let me lay here Til I can feel it on my face
If only in the depths of my wild imagination

Postpone my day while I daydream
Perhaps the rain will stop
But dreams never cease

they say the grass grows greener on the other side
but I've been watering myself down day after day
counting calories, running on treadmills for hours,
you know it seems like the only thing I could eat without feeling guilty about myself is a small bowl of nothing
but even that would be too much.
and when I do eat, I eat so much that I'm too full to go on with the day
but that fullness can't fill up the empty void in my head that's supposed to be telling me to love myself
because how can I love myself when the only thing that's ever loved me was a hot pocket in the freezer
and how can I love myself when my dad says people who hurt themselves are crazy but then saw my scars and didn't apologize
and how could I love myself when I was the age of 16, the woman who gave birth to me told me depression is just a phase
and how can I love myself when the first boy I ever loved told me the only way to chase after his heart would have to be on a treadmill
and how am I supposed to love myself when people think that not eating all day is an accomplishment
but who knows maybe the grass is greener on the other side after all