Too sad to smile
Too happy to cry
Too old to live
Too young to die

He heared our song
Please forgive me
I couldn't stop it in time

He didnt even know
You were on my mind
But i could feel it

He even said that it was good
My heart broke into pieces

I didnt mean to share with him
A moment that was just ours

The walls are too thin
I can’t make a sound
It hurts keeping them in
When they want to fall out
Why have the roles reversed
When I did not even grow
From the time I needed them most
I know that I deserve it
Every bit of it and more
But why am I still crying
My mind and heart is on the floor
I can’t pick them up
And put them back in place
I want to get out of here
But I cannot escape
Not everything is what it seems
You think you know who they are
When they really are just a mystery
Who can I trust
Who should I bring
In my dreams with me
So we could be free
At least in my sleep
I can control reality
The world can revolve around me
And fulfill all my needs
I can trust anyone
And don’t have to be skeptical
Because I can see right through them
I can be practical
I must be practical
I wish I didn’t care
Am I too blinded by these emotions
When all I do is just stare
I can’t tell anymore
I want to punish myself
In a way that I deem to be fair
But I might not get better
And I might go to hell for it

she kept on closing and opening them
trying to identify a rhythm
she would wipe the tears with her little fingers,
and smile

a ball suffocating her from inside
her throat closing in she now couldn't breath
while her eyes kept playing a game
opening and closing

she hoped she would close them, and open them only to find his face in front of hers
And he's hand wiping a tear of her cheeks

hating who i am
dreaming who i could be
sitting still
with eyes close and mind open
wondering if its too late
to start being who i want to be

I've been collecting words
for years- cataloguing

feral and oblivion, catharsis and
iridescence. I keep gusto

in the drawer beside my bed.
I put visceral next to the broken

mirror you left. I've hidden marrow
next to vastness as if they are mine

alone. See how they slip out of me
like a ****** nose at just the wrong time.