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My leaves have all been picked this year.
My blooms, the petals gone.
My truth has all been covered in fear
I am desperately awaiting the dawn.
Losing touch is easy, fading out is quick
Eyes which glowed once, will soon turn grey and sick.
Excelleration will slowly slow, motions comes to stop
No vision of where to go , so your body begins to drop.
Death is such a progressive thing, a sinking in of presence
Sometimes I find it filling me, A quite uncomfortable essence.
How often have I given myself to death. How often have I called it.
How often have I begged for it, to confront my issues and solve it.
Who is death and what is it... Why do I feel it, even though I am alive.
How can something living, COmprehend death... Why do I know what dying is like.
Why do I want to die?
I see winter coming, and Know deep in my bones, I haven't gathered enough resources to make it on my own. And death will make it so, that I do not suffer long.
Blank stare at the wall
but a million miles in between
what I want and what I have.

You could lick it clean.
Call it fate or a mistake
But I'm always running late
Whether it's in to morning work
Or out to nightly dinner dates

Never have I been early
At anything I do
Except to say that I'll be late
But that you already knew

It's been that way from the beginning
Starting with my nine and a half month birth
Inside of the womb, slept till way past noon
For all that I was worth

Still feel I'm in my teenage years
Late at growing up
But I must say the way adults act these days
Don't think I'm missing much

I may even be late for my own funeral
But would that be a crime
I ask who out there wouldn't care
If they missed their day of dying

So call it fate or a mistake
One or another, either way
All I can say is that to this day
I'm always running late
 May 2017 Sincerely Em
Max
If not for my sharpie
My wrists would have more scars
My sharpie is my substitute
For objects that are sharp

So instead of carving  my wrists
I draw on them instead
If not for my sharpie
I truly would be dead
Mike Hauser has inspired me. He told me I should post it so here it is.
Missing me is missing you.
Your love your dampened soil
You ever aching ever beating
Your heart your mine your royal

Take me to your center fold
Your beauty seranades and fades
Take me all the way to your home
I want my insides and you are mades.
He offered her the world
But she said she only desired his heart
He paused for a moment in complete silence
As he did not know where to start...
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