"The problem with suicide is that when it becomes an option in your mind, it's always an option."

it is easy to question you when you say it
"i love you" slips from your lips like a script you've practiced a while now
i refuse to believe you're in love with me
good things happen to good people
i am not good
i am a mess

nevermind your PDA
nevermind your constant reminders
you cant love me
i am me
and you are you
way too great to downgrade
loyal, yes
but i am a mess
not a mess you can fix with a comb and water
a mess that sits in a leather chair spilling stupid truth for the benefit of my future

grey skies seem black these days
my trashcan is full of wasted trees.

i feel as if we've carved our names
into the great oak 5 years ago
ive only known you a while now

the darkness reminds me of you  
you're the 4am darkness
staring into nothingness
listening to faint sounds
it wont stop
it just slows down sometimes

your kisses can cure cancer
or depression-
long enough to feel normal again

i wonder if you taste
everything im afraid to say
in my tounge
i wonder if one day ill catch you
slipping out of bed before sunrise
trying to get home to your family

i wonder if my moms wine collection
will become my whiskey bar
for nights when your kid is sick
or nights when you ignore my calls
because you're having
stationary *** with your wife

Longing for someone to touch my soul.
Bring the light into the darkness.
Fix the heart thats now parted.
Tears that fall endlessly because of feeling unwanted.
The emptiness that fills my stomach like im just now meeting you. Wanting to speak up , but i feel you dont want me to.
Daily I speak to my mind saying youre going to come back .
But how its looking now , i feel theres no turning back.
Why just why did you have to hurt me ? Through all the situations and problems , i was the eye to your soul.
When people did you wrong , i build up with anger.
When all along , your killing my mind.
Mentally confused , mind so abused. Words that fill my head , & thoughts i have of you.
Memories that haunt me , that i want to leave.
Soul desire for your longing touch. Was in for so long , just wonder if it was love.
Feining for your presence , im blinded by lust.
Problems built up to today thats causing me not to trust.
That deep, drowned ,feeling of my heart sinking whenever i hear your name.
I push myself so far , mentally and physically everyday.
The echoes of your mind repeats through my heart.
The words you said to me , when we were first droven apart.
I cry and i cry but i laugh after a while.
Trying to hide over my heart , that i dont plan to use for a while.

It wasnt just you , but youre the main one that flashed the signs.
Signs of hurt , ache , tears , feelings that were never felt before.
As if I was drowning myself every moment spent with you, but blinded by hope .
Hope that we'd grow up and move onto better things.
Atleast thats what I summarized as my feelings
Then it was him, who claimed me as being mentally challanged.
When all to reality im now mentally destroyed
Him who told me he cant except me for who I am, but who he wants me to be.
Adrenaline rising once I heard all the news.
But of course I didnt want to talk it out with you.
Stressed about it sent me to the hospital bed
Just the fact that my blood rises because of you, admits the feelings I had.
Sight, vision, touch.
Your fingertips.
When they would persuade my skin to believe your lies.
Your lips would corress my neck making me fall deeper .
Whispers of "I love you" that would pump life into my heart are now gone.
Disappeared into someone elses ear .
The ear and lips that spreaded us part  
The ones that tried to take part of me without you knowing
They persuaded you to do what you did.
The scars tucked underneath from that night you started to switch
My lips that freeze whenever it comes to speaking to you.
Sensing the fact that youve changed and dont care for my being.
So ill stay away..