im laying here overthinking

you and he are probably talking

im crying while listening to knuckle puck

youre probably on the phone talking about getting ******


(s.m.)

its one of these nights
where nothing can help me sleep
im so restless and cant sleep
i need to, i want to, but i cant
my blankets are making me suffocate
my chest is aching, but i think thats just thoughts of you
a lot of things with other explanations i blame on you

(s.m.)

there’s people whose dads don’t even know their
face but that doesn’t change what i
have. that somehow doesn’t lessen the
blow. that’s
nice you got bit by a
shark and all but nobody ever asks me about
my scars, the ones you can’t
see. i try to take
baths to feel
whole again but the water hits me like a
fist when i drop down too
fast, like all the hurt in the
world never meant
anything. i guess what i’m trying to
say is that i love you, i love
you, and i remember the
night you punched my name into the bedroom
wall because i tried too hard to
save you, i tried too
hard to **** the poison out of
something already
pure. i guess
i was hoping you’d question how i could smell a broken
bone from three miles
away, how i could find bandages in the blackest
dark. i guess
i was hoping you might end up saving
me, too.

being straight edge is a struggle

everywhere i look i see people getting high

i see them drinking their problems away

i see them getting ****** up to get away from reality

and lets be honest

whats the point?

it may help for a little

but then you come down

and its all back to the same pain

(s.m.)

im in the car for an hour or so

the whole time the sky is grey

rain splatters onto the windshield

this is what makes me feel okay