my mother once foretold
that my overwhelming disgust
poured onto my skin and
patches of personalities
will put me on a gridiron
and wave me as a vapor heat
bearable, annoying, and
unwanted — but!

it is a process i forego
before i love the person
who will love me more than
i despise me

and that person is me

i am my wildfire
and i am my flood

Love knocks on my door
And I invite him in
Because I like how he smells
But now that he's here
I don't know what to feed it
Love has never been here before

Life will test you
Get the best of you
Make a mess of you
Leave you with less of you

Black coffee
Half and half cream
She sips it slowly
As her head screams
It's just what she needs
To awaken her senses
The caffeine soothes
Makes her feel less defensive
She knows the day
Is about to begin
Very soon she will have to
Put on that fake grin
She's grown tired
Of having to be nice
To people she'd rather
Not look at twice
She's been searching
For the humane part of humanity
But lately all she can seem to find
Is plain old insanity
People running the race like rats
She wishes they'd all get eaten by cats
People walking around like ticking time bombs
Just waiting to blow, when anything goes wrong
People with egos so big and so wide
Who care only about themselves
It's like their souls have died
Black coffee
Half and half cream
She wishes she could
Finally wake up from this dream

I have to keep taking steps forward,
  for if I don't,
    I will surely fall backward.

If I take a step back,
  I will shatter,
    from the weight of expectations,
      of judging eyes
        and of false pretenses.

If I take too many steps forward,
  I might just fall into a chaotic beauty
    of problematic situations.

I must not take a single wrong step.
  Not one backward.
    Not one too many forward.
      Not the wrong step, just the absolute right step.


Steps.
Steps.
Steps.

Searching for contact
In each set of eyes
I meet

I don't want to spend my youth
Without
In order to spend my future
With

I am willing to throw my tomorrow
Into the wind
As payment for a better
Today

I will risk what lies ahead
To ensure peace where I am
Right
Now

The future is not guaranteed.
The future is not a given right.
The future is not fair.

Today is sure.
Today is a gift.
Today is what I wake up to every morning.

So I will not stop living
For the future.
I will live on
For today.