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 Oct 2014 Serena martius
Ashley
these stubborn lungs
just won't give it up
dandelions, clovers, rabbit's foot
for luck
i've been trying my hardest
not to aim too high,
to shoot for the buildings, not
the petulant sky
wide eyes, open heart
concave hopes, brand new
start
aching and craving
thundering worlds anew
awoken to beauty
among a faithful few
So, this poem is getting published... surreal.
Why do we feign such rapturous delight,
in pretence to others that all is alright,
what if the soul is quietly suppressed,
cloaked in darkness, hidden and repressed,

Are we ashamed to drape the veil,
to retreat into darkness and embrace the pale,
truth can be found from deep in a frown,
so why wear the clothes and tears of a clown.

© H V Swan
idk
i had your heart in my hands. and i dropped it in confusion.

number one, do not use depression as an excuse. do not use a flaw in chemistry to contaminate another soul.
second, a home is never a building. it's built a human, and it's constantly on the move - embrace changes. but like buildings, it may get demolished.
third, the hardest goodbyes are never bade. notice the colours fading, you're close.
number four, realise that the past is a broken record ought to be disposed.
fifth, all suppressed truths become toxic. not all harsh truths are better than lies, remember, telling a lie causes the liar to believe it. it might change him.
number six, emptiness is heavy. and feeling heavy weighs you down. $tay high, you'll feel lighter.
seventh, smiles are just expressions of joy. not radiating it leaves traces on your heart.

i had your heart in my hands, and i dropped it, i dropped it each time.

( FAH )
Today I feel broken.
I'm carving up pieces of myself
offering them to everyone in an attempt
to make myself forget and help them

Today I'm getting smaller.
As I offer more pieces and he,
Who usually puts them back,
Takes them without question

Today I am sad without reason
Today I want him to know that
Today I cannot seem to show it
Never am I able to say it


Today I am a closed book
I expect him to read me
I cannot seem to yield my pages
I cannot open myself

Today I am a closed book
Today I am sad without reason
Today I am getting smaller
Today I feel broken

Today... depression.
 Sep 2014 Serena martius
hiel
there are no clouds in the sky
the sky is so blue
it's so beautiful.

did you know?
i'd always say...
"the clouds remind me of you."

but now, there are no clouds in my sky.
there is no you in my sky.
and all that is left is a beautiful blue.

and i'm fine with that.
i like that.
alt. title (no clouds)
If you are uncomfortable when you look in the mirror,
keep in mind:
We spent thousands of years
trying to convince the earth
she was flat.

We wrote her maps as evidence of the things we saw;
and she believed them.
She cried tsunamis, and had earthquake breakdowns.

Keep in mind: the Sun never gave up hope.
The earth will keep spinning and breathing
the star-dusty space void of encouragement.

Next time you look in the mirror
and second-guess your potential divinity,
remember you will keep shining and living.

Because the Sun is out there
believing in you,
compensating for lack of the human capacity
to treat each other empathically.

You don’t need proof or approval
to be exactly what you are;
Eventually everyone will see
your infinite beauty.
 Sep 2014 Serena martius
Sjr1000
She comes to me
bleeding inside
from a thousand
individual scars
with pleading eyes
self contained
She speaks in gentle
refrains

"I don't know where
I'm going
I don't know who
I've become
I go through the motions
deaf, blind and dumb
I dance on cue
I stand in line
I've tried to be so
good.
I've left behind the darkness
I've forgiven the past
I'm far too aware of time
It doesn't matter really I don't mind
I wish I could tell
you what I find

The struggle between
my internal world
condemnation
irritability
judgement
fears
heartaches there, vile rages, petty hatreds
*** dancing on the head of a
pin
exquisite laughter
it's all there.

While my behavior is quite the
opposite
accommodating, loving, compassionate
flirtatious, curious
connection is my goal

When I'm alone I'm lonely
when together suffocated
the best distance is
from here to there

I wish I could tell
you that I mind

The storms still
come and go
luck rides the
tides
each day the
sunrise

This human stuff
is all too real
it creeps up on you
so you don't know
how you feel

Which is why I've
come to you to
speak my mind
they say you are the
complaint department
the garbage collector

I'm bleeding inside
from a thousand scars
that's not to say I really mind."

They say the healer
must heal themselves
so of course I ask
"How can I help you?"
There is a pressure on my shoulders,
Behind my eyes and in my bones.
A force beyond my control.
As helpless as a stone
Though in the wind I sway.
Does it hold us back?
Or
Keep us from flying away?
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