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she always posted my bail and
never asked what I d done
and she paid the back rent
twice
always had dinner for me

she loaned me money
and I never paid her back

and when I was gone

for 2 or 3 days
she didn't ask where I'd been

she broke my nose
with a non-stick frying pan

she broke my heart with a letter

she s the best I ever had

Honey,
if you read this:
i'm in the county jail,
call the bail bonds man
I need you more than ever

YOUR THE BEST I EVER HAD!
I take the remnants of my
childhood OCD,
and I put it to
hard work at my
custodial arts job.
Janitor to be PC.
All the initials make
my BP rise.

And the pounding
of the basketballs attack 
my eardrums in
a mad staccato
beat.
The blue toilets, and
the chemicals assuage
my nasal cavity.

Leggings and tight shorts
get my Nabokov mind calling
******, come, let me
touch your pink flower.
I'm wet now at
the head; can they see
it through my pants?

How many times did
I touch the light switch?
Do I need to blink
my eyes two more times?
Ah, if I could only
swim to heaven in
the blueness of the sterile
chlorine in
that big cerulean pool...
wash this
wretched disease 
off, once and for all.
Open lotuses of purple and indigo hues
casting spells beneath lawny skies of midnight blue  
each brilliant star more sparkly then the next by heaven's roam;  

Like shooting fireflies and minuets of silent reveries,
the neon fairies claim the quiet waters of the Thame,  
as lilies glide inside slow gentle rain ....
Opuses of art in natures private Cul de sac
water vessel of grace, incumbent chalice of the night
undulating sinuously towards the evening light
none can duplicate the beauty of, your even flow;

Who knows who knows which way the gale winds blow
but this I know,... no never have I seen
such incandescent fiery light, cleaving at the cusp of night.

January 20, 2022
There were times
that I floated; almost flew.
The wind tasted fresh,
as the clouds hissed by.
My sweat kissed the
hot sidewalk below.
I dunked any
basketball that
I could palm.
Seventeen years old,
and a sanguine grin
the powerful legs,
and a 
skinny frame.
Life was mine, and I
knew it.
I spent more time in
the air than I 
did on the concrete.
The sky and
tree lines were
my home.
I was Icarus and a hawk
soaring above the
common folks.
Now, I never leave
the ground.
We play with minds
but the mind plays us

don't use it enough
only when convenient

or when it's too late
when we've been suckered

bamboozled into thinking
too much about nothing

The only reason you are here
is to be composted

Recycled into something
that will in all hopes last forever...
I am older
No longer strangled by
blinded naivete
with a smudge
of silly
embracing the white
invasion
in every crevice
of my body
I am a glacier
receding into
the extinction of Me
Now that I am closer
to the fervent void
I will savor
this child free air
a crone and a mystery
to thee
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