skin polished
with oils, salt and husks
i gleam
with perfumed butters and musk
silken smooth flesh
like living warm honey
i languish
in the golden light of dusk
limbs naked
under silks and plush
i wait

i wait for you

your eyes look bleached
as you stare
your glance running
along the puzzlecracks
into the dustfields
dancing on the
bone
dead
earth
seared and cauterised
no longer waiting
for rebirth
your eyes are bleached
with the eternal search
the agony of drought

sy wil iets beteken
nie iets hê
of word
of kry
of raak nie

nie nut
of hulp
of help
of raad nie

sy wil net iets beteken
wat sy nie in haarself maak nie

i will never leave you
i'll be in every taste on your tongue
each breath in your lungs
i'll be everywhere you've ever been
all the places you've never seen
because we wanted to taste and feel all things together
my absence will be like a second skin
a curse on you to think of me in everything

all the blood and violence
awakened ferocious appetite for life
a bright gleaming hunger
on the edge of the knife
every moment a juicy morsel
born from strife

lazy fly on my leg
beer brain and belly
turning on a bed
of cool cotton sheets
golden sunlight
envelops my head
saturday afternoon nap
i smiled as i slept

ek dryf in koperson
want wolke is te wit om op te trap
en blou lug te min om my te hou
ek dryf in illovo-stroop lig
wat om my vou
soos ‘n ma se hande wat skulp
om ‘n kind se huil

a little sordid
a little seedy
a little ****** up
a little needy
i could hate you
for being
so like me
but i love
the reflection
you've made
me see

stripping
skin and flesh off bone
i cling to life
and hide alone

my skeleton
hanging
in your closet
cover me up
and try to forget it

siren
for you
shivering
as you see
through
thin cloth
to my skin
silk
on my tongue
as i breathe
you in

i am
the daytime
devil
i walk
in the light
of your mind
you will never
see me
i live
in the whiteblind
that you thought
to be
so pure
the burning twin
of darkness
is on this side
of the door
to strip away
your eyelids
to force you
to see
more

i drink the poison
and i hope you die
bitterness soaks in
to become the lie
feeding
the decay we deny

stroke the wall
in a slow caress
if you want to
touch her
the flutter
of a see-through dress
against your cheek

here i stand
naked
unashamed
no longer afraid
i am open
splayed
so that you may look
into my darkest shadows
and see
me

here i stand
nothing you wish
to know will remain hidden
i show you all
even what i can't see

and you choose to be blind

if you are
fearless
you can fight
for many
if you are
angry
you don't feel
pain
if you are
willing
to be all
and any
a whisper of you
will always
remain

you can stretch
until your spine snaps
spreads apart
separates you
from earth
tears tendons
and flesh
the absurd
desire to leave
my feet
and grow
wings

bile bubbling
from my maw
i spit your pain
forcing the saw
across
my veins
i will
bite and claw
leave
you raw
i hope that hurts as much as i do

laughter
love
and liquor (lick her!)
mischief
music
mirth
this is the best
recipe
for the fullest
life
lived

:)

we carry scars
and marks
imperfections of pigment
warped bones
and fragmenting knees
we feel the weather
in our old injuries
if you play
you inevitably bleed

sweet decay
everything is
rotting away
slowly
as we sway
sedated
seduced
ever unsated
life and death
eternally mated
time wished away
is oxygen wasted

crawl, you *******
creep under your rock
and go **** yourself
i hate what you are
what you've made me

fierce goddess
i am
the maw
of the world
i feed
as you regress
to what you are
just bone and blood and flesh
delicious meat
for your fierce goddess
alive
as i eat you
never allowed
the peace of death

duck and cover
drop and roll
stifle the
fire
that feeds the
soul
leave behind
hunger
in the echoing
hole
duck and cover
drop and roll
the flames are
smothered
just ash left
in the bowl

satiate
the need
hoard
for the day
of freedom

for you
i’ll wear dresses
and be pretty
in every shade of pink
i’ll cross my legs
like a good girl
and pretend
that i’ll relinquish
because maybe, just maybe
this time

i feel you
currents and electrical shivers
whisper against my palm
when i stroke the air
around your skin
you feel so gooooooood

slowly devoured
by this love
by thoughts
of the choice that never was
digested fodder
discarded too fast
forever left
in your unremembered
past

i put the flame
to incense and oils and candles
cigarettes and all manner of other offerings
the remains of a thousand departed essences
linger in the light of still  flickering flames
through the fire
we are set free

sometimes the truth
sits in the choosing
and not the choice
that’s made
sometimes the pain
is not the losing
but the loss of days

epitaph
eulogy
i write
your life
for all to see
in four short lines
what could have been
sterilised existence
bones picked clean

two million flowers
for one pound of honey
we give so many hours
to be slaves to the money

wind
with sand
grates
skin away
without the rain
in blue and gray
to wash
the blood
and pain
away

gun gas
splash float
****** ****
hate

blood red
bloat blue
death grey
pain true

bleeding out
onto your floor
you tore
the wound
when you slammed
the door
i'm all empty
i don't feel
cold anymore
as i look
at my love
thicken to rot
with the rest
of the gore
weeping for
what used to be
so much
more

where there’s foo
there’s fire
you bring the flame
i breathe your skin
and sing your name
my heart is broken
and  you’re to blame

easy to laugh
and loudly, at that
throwing
my head
all the way back
deep
from my belly
eternally glad
to laugh
so easily
to roar
at the sad

beautiful brown man
i wish i can
kiss your eyelids
and hold your hands
against my skin
to feel the brands
the maps to learn me
so, brown man?

waiting for a moment
of truth and touch and tongue
running outside atmosphere
being blood and young

would that we were open to
the touch and taste of what is true
and soft and hard against our skin
that is outside and in and in

stepping through
to the simplicity
that lies beyond
what is called
intricate
between me
and the layers of you

i think about you
and all the seconds
i would’ve called mine
slip quietly
into the bottle of time
you carry in your pocket

seeing blind
hearing deaf
the louder you yell
the deeper my breath
seems to go
an endless pit
where all that you said
is left
because i don't
hear or see
you
anymore
you may as well
be
dead

i scream in your stead
i'll take it away
until the pain is bled
from you
the wound healed
and scarred red
i'll take it
to spare you
i'll bleed instead