Touch space and time
With my fingertips
The ambiance carries me on a wave
Echoing vibrations crawl up my vertebrae

This music is untypical
Just take a sip of it
It's better than your daily drug
It's a kaleidoscopic hug
Increasing dopamine
Close your eyes,
This experience is unlike anything you've ever seen.

Take my hand,
We'll dance on top of this barren land
And give it life *again

Hello? Hello? Hello?
Words make less sense
When I'm standing by the door
Emerging through the galaxy
Being birthed
Cramping my way through the
Birth canal
Screaming,
Breathing for the first time,
Breathing for the first time.

This is interesting
My heart is writhing
I desire to see him
But the thought of that being a reality makes me depressed
This clearly doesn't make sense
I think my anxious mind needs some rest

In his presence
I cannot breath
And yet, I do not want to leave
If a smile is all we exchange
I spend the rest of the day in a happiness I cannot explain

I soak in a bath of self imposed pain
And I very well think this negativity is vain
When he beholds me in his eyes I hope I seem sane
His merely speaking my name
Makes me fall a part
And I have to pick myself up in shame
I just cannot explain...

It's like dying and being reborn
Like being an exploding star
Cascading neuropeptides dancing with my human heart
Signals like fireworks go off in my brain
When he's near
And he can't hear the craziness going on inside,
but I still fear

Sand brown walls,
Quiet,
Spacious,
The lights of christmas adornments
Travel through the floor to ceiling windows

I sit in silent wonder,
The children are asleep
I feel my body,
In this vast
Empty expanse

This silence makes me think of things,
It makes me wonder

I open the sliding glass door
To see is darkness weaving its way through towering trees
I look up in awe,
Surrendered reverence
To a world not quite seen
But enveloping the one I know
Through my mind and senses

But I can still feel this other world
Whispering to me
Bestowing me with a desire to explore this greater reality
Almost as if I were a visionary,
Seeking to merge with the Divine
In wholeness,
To experience completion

I closed the door, for now
But I will go back,
I will do more than visit
I want to vibrantly exist there
While still fully human
On this earth,
A human vessel
Carrying the Divine within,
Pouring it generously out
Onto anyone who asks for it.

Bound by cords by my own hands
Head filled with books and my own fantasy land
Reticent and contracted
Every move beforehand practiced
I can't relax into the uncertainty
It's pain, it's hell
Every entering moment I cannot foretell
How do I expose the beautiful parts without exposing the scars and bruises?
No one likes those, everyone now just wants illusions.

The fact is
That I feel and miss and hurt
Like everyone

Tall grass and soil beneath me
I'm sinking
Into a fantasy
And it feels so good and it feels so wrong
Because it takes me away from reality
And I know
I got to face reality,
With both it's joys and woes
But just once more I will serenade the song of nonconformity.

Systems crumbling beneath our feet
As we speak
But my outlook is rather serene
But yours is bleak
And you ask: "What do you mean"
The world is ending
But look, you're supporting the systems
So don't act like you're against them when you are one of them
Instead of playing the blame game and pinning the problems on a group of people,
Look at yourself in the mirror
If we get rid of "those people" nothing is going to change
We need to look at ourselves first
We must change ourselves first.

This mind of mine is comprised of horrors
I smile all the time but all my dreams are nightmares
I live in constant fear,
Paranoid glances over my shoulder,
Impending doom always seems to be on the rise
Like tidal waves threatening to consume my small reality
I feel numb, so ******* numb
And everyone I know is empty too
Pretending to be okay,
Too scared to love, too scared to live
Everything is just so intense
I'm tired of persisting in this way, but I don't change
I see promise on the precipice,
Yes, right on the edge of this cliff,
What if I jumped?
Would I fly?
If I jumped, would it stop these tears that I cry?
If only, if only they had compassion,
If only I felt love
If only just one person would look into my eyes
With love and understanding,
I think it would soften the blow
Of my harsh reality.

Sometimes I fear falling asleep,
Sometimes I fear these words I wish to speak
Sometimes I fear losing everything that makes up my world.

Oh sweet saccharine child
I feel your love from miles and miles
How could words ever express
Your bold golden orange decadence?

How long had my soul cried out in agony
Wasting away in it's misery
Until a soft feather like hand of an angel
Wiped my tears away
And gave me hope of a better day

Oh, twisted world in which I live
My perception is dark and hurting
You've stolen my rainbows and my butterflies,
Bumblebees and hummingbirds
But I've got faith enough for the rest of us...
I live on.

Gone With The Wind is one of my favorite movies. I resonate so strongly with both Scarlett and Melanie... I feel like Scarlett is all ego and Melanie is all heart and soul. I feel like these two characters are two voices of many in my psyche. I experience a constant internal battle within, as my inner Scarlett prattles relentlessly on, draining my energy, with her goals being vain pursuit, external validation and self preservation. My inner Melanie on the other hand, fully aware of my inner Scarlett's self sabotage, embraces Scarlett lovingly and compassionately, yet doesn't allow Scarlett to throw her off center or make her feel inferior, because it's impossible for Melanie to feel inferior or in desperate need because she knows her intrinsic worth. So, in all, I would say that Scarlett is my ego and Melanie is my Soul.~~ Just sharing my analogy with the community to shed light on a struggle many of us face~~

I stepped into the fire
and it burned me,
Nearly incinerated all of me
But I couldn't leave it
I almost liked it

I sat in that black and grey ash
I wallowed in my jaded joy
I felt like a mere toy
In life's game
Endless years of pain
And very little gain

I wiped away my tears
With grimy hands
My heart crashed down to the ground
And hit the cold concrete floor
My heart shattered into a million tiny peices
It had been made of crystal,
It once was so beautiful.
Look what life has done.

So this is how the story goes,
I think I fall in love
But when I seek deeper
There are no roots
Just empty promises that never bloomed

It’s funny because
I always wonder what they think of me
How they feel for me
But when I look in my own heart
I find that I don’t even love them, just like I know they don’t love me

This one thought of himself as a knight in shining armor,
He said he was a romantic
But really he was so cruel,
Giving me what he knew I wanted in the beginning
Only to gain power over me to tear me apart

And I just couldn’t take it, one more day
Of him yelling at me,
Criticizing me,
Telling me to change
And then with his victim story
Of anxiety about the pain he caused me
He’s such a fool,
But so am I
I abandoned myself for his love
That I could never fully grasp no matter how hard I tried.

Do you want to uplevel with me?
Merge together and create something splendid?
Because I can see beautiful potentialities with you,
Envisioning brighter futures where I no longer have to suffer through trials alone
But instead becoming lovers in which we serve each other as a boon,
A buffer against the raw pangs of reality

Not only are you beautiful,
Which my heart craves
Your beauty is rugged and untamed
And that’s what I like about you

You’ve evolved, and so have I
Cynicism has changed the creases around our eyes
And it’s noticeable that we’re sadder now
But maybe we can help each other lean into joy,
Uplevel into contentment

Maybe it’s not so much about upleveling,
But regressing back to a childlike state
Of whimsy, gratitude and wonder
A time before our minds weren’t strong enough to war within us

I feel my heart, like a closed bud
Blossoming
And you’re knocking on the door of my heart.
Maybe this time I’ll let you in.

I pried open my subconscious mind
I simply couldn't function outside
I felt like a green alien that everyone avoided
And the government spied on
In hopes of catching me before I did anything distorted.

A few years back I popped this recreational pill that promised unending happiness for a night, but instead it brought me back to the experiences that  shaped me into who I am
The memories that are the very sources of my deep disturbance.

That was the beginning of my journey into my subconscious mind
It seems to me that my deep inward explorations have only brought on more pain and suffering
Because I realized what jerks my parents are.
I saw them attempt to change many times.
They always failed.
I got sick with the idea that I would never be able to escape this psychological torment.
And yet I journeyed even deeper into my mind.

In a visual well
I cracked open my skull
And all of these parasites scrambled forth in thousands
How long had they lived in there?
I found ghosts and I found demons
I found little people who claimed to be heathens
I found drought
I found evil
I found a daredevil who had no concept of death
But even deeper yet,
I found a single girl
Needing love, needing rest
A girl who tried in everything to do her best
And at times rebelled to get the attention she needed
But most of her acts for attention got her beat.
I few knocks to the noggin will surely do
So the terror-some memories become few.

Now I'm just focusing on healing these visceral contusions
Because I refuse to fail at change
This may take years,
This may take my whole entire life
But I will see positive continuous change all through my days
And maybe that will settle my internal craze
All through life I promise to do good through every phase.
I couldn't live with myself any other way.

My mind is finally clearing
Like rays of sunlight
Breaking through heavy storm clouds
And something rose up in my Spirit,
It said:
"Everything will be alright"
I had a vision of myself
Smiling from cheek to cheek
And I just knew,
Everything would be more than okay
Because today, something has changed
And now I am happy.

It takes time to grow
It takes time to develop
It takes time to know
You need creases in your face,
laugh lines, dark circles, wrinkles on your forehead
To understand
and to become everything you need to be
There is no need to rush the germination of your soul
You're just gonna have to give yourself time to grow
And sometimes growth comes slow
But that's okay
You don't have to run away
From everything that ties you down and causes you pain
You can become okay with the dissarray
And just look out your window,
wherever you are
Look at how the sun is so faithful
It rises every new morning
Just continue to rise everyday
with the sun
and in due time
You will get there, wherever that is
And you will become who you need to be
And you will breathe,
you will laugh
You will see
how the hardships made you stronger and kinder
Just wait and see,
You will grow dear,
You will grow so tall and magnificently
But as for now,
Put a seed of love in your heart
And tend to it gently
For love is more important than growth,
You must love yourself and be love to others
Whoever you are, wherever you are.

“Wake up” I repeated to myself through tears
Wake up to the truth ringing in your ears
Look with your eyes,
You’ll see
Everything that is just is
So let it be
Stop trying to force it when you can be free

The pain in your heart is sore, I know
But trust me, it’s better to let it go
Who cares if no one understands you
Just don’t let that pain become a story of shame
Release the heavy burden of false identities
Trust me child, you can be free from all this pain

It’s okay if they called you bad
You don’t have to succumb to their words and prove them right
Despite the pain stuck in your heart
I promise you that you are worthy,
You truly are a brilliant star
And I hope you tap into your own expansive light

The truth is, you don’t have to care so much
You don’t have to be in control
Trust me child, there’s freedom in letting go
Who cares what others think of you
Who cares if anyone even truly loves you
Don’t be scared of lack
There’s always an abundance of support,
Even if you feel all alone, I’ve always got your back

I’ll show you how much I love you
That you’ll live from overflow
And maybe that love will pour out and touch others one day,
You never know.

Fingers
Wrapped around
The soft spine
Of your back neck
Doused in blue
Did we run the streets,
Dripping in blue body paint?

I saw the pink roses
Pretty and thorned
My bleeding hands,
Were unforgiving
The clock
Was unforgiving
I cried that whole night.

Dreams of Africa
On a safari
Looking up at a starry night sky,
I skipped through an orchard,
Singing a child's lullaby

My mind is a reflection of madness,
But you said you wanted more,
You tasted the sadness,
Swelling from my pores
Your eyes are porcelain
Static on a screen

The hummingbirds are calling
In their iridescent beauty
They drag me by my collar,
Into a land of whimsical triviality,
Where I hum with bees,
The rainbow is my palet from which I paint
Fighting off reality,
Reveling in insanity.

The waves, they roll
Onto the shore
I walk, step by step
Keeping with the rhythm of my heart

The ocean swirls and sputters,
Playing with my toes
Translucent teal water,
Reflecting the hue of my soul

I walk into the ocean,
My white dress floats above my body,
I continue to walk,
Further, into the cold water

The sun is setting,
A red heart shining in the sky,
I reach to touch Her,
If only I could fly

I let the tide carry me out
As I float upon the water,
Carry me out to sea
Dissolve all my borders.

These threads are tied to things
Intangible
I saw a life in front of me
Multi-colored and vibrant
Though in being entranced within this kaleidoscope
My inner world fell silent

These notions
Like heartfelt prayers lifted, open palms to the sky
Are given up with heartfelt devotion
It’s figments
Pieces of plans
Ideas never born
Seeds never sprouted
But it’s honey, so sweet
Appeasing a heart’s intermittent melancholy
To hold onto what may never be
To hold onto hope,
Let this run its course, and we’ll see

Spring is here and the world is coming alive again
Awakening from its stagnant slumber
I have awoken from a bewildering dream
Though, even now, I doubt I am fully awake
Threads from the past are braided into me
As are new threads of the present being woven into me
I’m a living, breathing tapestry
And experiences are always changing me.

Fuchsia, Magenta, Yellow
Running down
Making strands of color
On my face
I'm laughing
Cheerfulness in multitudes makes me appear
A fool
But I've never been one
To be cool

I'm weird
I must admit
I could never be in the cool crowd
I belonged to the under dogs
The eccentrics
The outcasts
I didn't want to fit in

Because I want to let my freak flag fly
I want to don all the colors sprawled out
like a kaleidoscope of endless colors
I want to love in my ****** up, peculiar way
I want to run in the rain
Run so far away
But allow the sun to soak and dry every tear I've cried
I need my fellow weirdos
To join me
I never fit in
And I don't need to
I just wanna be me
I want to love, love, love!
Endlessly

What a strange world I live in
This is our world
But so many people live as if it is only their world

Blue orb speckled with green
Spinning around a gargantuan ball of fire at the center of everything

This strangeness is felt
Like tears on my cheeks
In a world with so many sharp edges
I'm searching for a soft place to land

Society is a socially acceptable form of prison
We're so accustomed to the prison's parameters
That we're blind to them
We work like little faithful working bees
So our kings and queens
Can reap the benefits

If we stay nescient
Then we will never have the option to break free
But some don't care to be free
They find security in the dull drum of certainty
So, I invite you to step away from this madness with me,
But only if you truly want to be free.

What if,
One day
I wake up from this years long slumber
And just go? Just leave?
What if I left everything behind
Disconnected from everyone, from the world
And set out on my own course?

Sometimes, I feel that pull in my heart
There’s so much confinement here,
So much mess
I just want to leave the mess
I don’t want to live up to my predefined roles
I just want to be free

There’s always some nagging thought in my head, and nothing is ever quite right
Or healed or whole
And you don’t understand how hollow that feels
There’s so much pain
And the pain keeps piling on
My heart is a tightly closed rose bud,
I miss the times it was open
When my heart’s open, I can breathe

But when I’m outside, on a trail
Gravel underfoot
The crunch, crunch, crunch quiets the mental chatter
I keep walking, one foot in front of the other
Until the civilized world is far behind me
And I begin to forget
Forgetting— that sweet freedom
I forget the pain.

Maybe if I run away
I’ll forget the pain.

But who am I
A teardrop traveling from my eye
As I witness the pain
and the truth in the lie

I want to sit all day and wrap myself within beautiful lies
And watch the sunrise
The truth makes me feel bare and scared
I couldn't manage it; I bar my ears from hearing truth
When it touches my ears, I just feel so confused

I've searched up and down and all around for this thing people call The Truth
Magnifier in hand like a sleuth
But it still eludes me, like it does everyone else
The world is moving and living
But I don't think I want to be apart of it...
Because the more I hear about what truth means to others
The more confused I become
I just want to meet someone with answers
This search deprives my life of fun!

With all this uprooting tradition and reasoning and overturning superstition and dogma,
The meaning that has imbued my life has waned
I'm a lost traveler searching for truth and a clear cut purpose.

Where is your heart,
It's a diversion
The glimmering, shimmering
Façade; the cloak
I like bright colors and shining ornaments
I thought I liked these things
Like your eyes and your voice
But it all disintergrates
Like the dust that was once mountains

My mind is the keeper of myriad memories captured by my five senses
I used to think it was all about me
And now I find myself dying to self
I can't make sense of it all
I've stopped imploring
Beating my fists to the floor, begging for more knowledge
I went out and sought the tree of knowledge
So I could take a bite of that poisonous fruit
I never found it.

Sometimes I find myself wrapped up in diversions,
Spellbound
Caught up in a web of hedonistic pursuits
Awaiting my death
I called "save me!"
Like the apostle Peter did when he was sinking
I called out in agony when all the pleasures became pain
An Angel appeared beside me
And guided me out of the dark night of my soul.

Sometimes,
On days as placid as this one
I completely forget what pain is and
How prevelant suffering is
It's too easy to just look out for myself and my own needs and wants
It's too easy to turn a blind eye to the starving child thousands of miles away from you or
The self destructive drug addict next door
It doesn't matter if the suffering is forced onto the person or if it's self inflicted
We need to love all,
Seek to bandage the wounded with unconditional love
And cast fear out of ourselves
The fear of what is foreign to us

Some days
When I'm happy and content
I ask myself,
Where is my heart?
I may never be recognized for the good deeds I've done in my life
But I rather live a life full of purpose
Even if that entails
Showering love onto the ones who are suffering
Putting myself among the lowest of the low
So that I can reach out my hand
And pull someone up to my level of joy in God.

While I was sleeping
I dreamed of you-- heartache
Of trains going nowhere-- aimlessness
Of my sister-- safety
While I was sleeping
The birds awoke
And sung their lively tune
But when I wake up
I'm never truly awake
I'm always tired, half-awake
Daydreaming of better days.

The sun shows white across my golden shoulders
I lay in the field of oblivion,
Sweet wildflowers dance on either side of me
My eyes are sealed shut
Yet the sun's rays still try to touch my retinas
My eyelids translate the rays into the color white
Causing my mind to drip with the essence of blankness

Your scent is palpable and it thrusts me into a prison cell
Of my own creation
I cause my vision to blur
Because you sit in front of me
And I'm intoxicated because of your presence
I'm trying to retain any sense of inhibition I have left
Within my quaking mind,
I think you turn to say hello,
I see you're smiling from my peripheral vision
I look straight forward and
Walk away

Maybe you think I'm cold or callous or aloof
But the truth is I am burning up inside for you
And I just don't know any other way to contain within me
This wild passionate flame
For if I unleash it
It could start a fire
That would not be able to be controlled
It would burn what I have now
A figment of what could be

Sometimes when I see you,
I close my heart
Because you're so beautiful to behold
And the inside of my heart turns white,
It becomes stark and cold
To the point where love it cannot hold
But when I get home
my mind scolds my heart
For being so full of fear
To the point that in the face of prospective love
I wish to disappear.

Pull me in with the tide
Green frothy foam rising up my thighs
Translucent teal
Bubbles popping, waves crashing
My imagination, whole
Home
At home
In the big green sea
Who’s hand should I hold?
Who’s bed do I want to inhabit
I spend my time thinking of the people I may love
But I always end up alone
But that’s ok
Because it’s safer to sleep
To keep this distance between us
Don’t worry
Just because we’re away
Doesn’t make this love unreal
Everything is real which I can feel
If I can feel it in my heart
And dream it in my mind
I know,
It’s real
But sometimes I have trouble distinguishing dreams from reality
But is it all really the same?
An undivided stream
Weaving threads, together in this tapestry
Who’s hand should I hold?
For now I hold my own.

We were meant to be shooting stars
Hurtling through space
We were created for big things,
For grand purposes,
And to share love

But age has a way
Of turning our hopeful hearts
Into cold and calculating cynics
With so many walls up,
We make it so hard
for people to love us

We protect our hearts
With a maze of thorny vines
And then we cry
Wondering why
Nobody truly loves
the soft and delicate infant
Hiding behind our eyes

You've got to go out on a limb,
Find the last bits of courage in your soul
And with that courage
You need to be fiercely authentic
On purpose
Within every moment

You must love so much
That you become love
Love yourself,
Love others,
And love God
Trade in your walls for boundaries
Don't allow people
Who don't know how to love
Hurt you

This process will take more time than you
Understand now
But just think of it like this:
You can't rush a pregnancy,
You can't rush a caterpillar's metamorphosis into a butterfly,
You can't rush an acorn to grow into an oak tree
You have to wait
For your soul to grow
Give it what it most needs through
This period of gestation,
The nutrients of the Soul:
Love,
Understanding,
Hope,
Joy,
Peace,
And whatever else
Your Soul calls for

Then one day,
You'll be walking down a busy sidewalk
And you'll catch a glimpse of yourself
In a storefront window
You'll do a double take
And notice that you couldn't recognize yourself
Initially because
Your face is softer now,
Kinder,
Happy

This journey
Of becoming
Who you were meant to be
Will continue on
For your entire lifetime
It's really more like
You are re-becoming
The person you were born into this world as:
Innocent, pure, and loving

God has a blueprint for each of our lives
But what happens to most of us
Is that this world
Causes us to become disconnected
To ourselves
And we lose ourselves
In trivial pursuits and ego desires
But you can find your way back home
To your heart
And rediscover
Who you were truly meant to be.

I can't fake it
When I think of you I hate it
There isn't an eloquent way to say it
I've known suffering intimately
By way of my fellow humanity
So tell me,
Why should I open my heart again,
To let another human in?

This is what I want,
I want a love just like a fire
Profuse with passion and desire
I want a colorful, vibrant love
Granting me permission
To be beautiful,
Full of wild ambition
I need him
To embrace me like
A vine embraces a trellis,
Without choking me,
Or limiting me
I need to maintain my autonomy
I need sweet lips I can kiss,
That I will never grow tired of
I need a soul
To serve as my companion
For the endless adventures
I dream up
I need a rebel,
To push me past my limits
I need a nonconformist,
To **** the rules with me
I need a wild soul,
Just like me..

I've found my voice again
It's cracked through my throat
like a butterfly
that was transmuting in it's cocoon
For five years

It's like the impenetrable dam
I had constructed
to hold back my truth
Has been utterly demolished
By the power of my truth
like surging waters
Overcoming my fears

Right now my words are like tsunamis
I closed my eyes yesterday
And I witnessed a tornado rising up inside from my belly
Someone prayed for me yesterday and said
She saw me at the throne of God,
God laid his hands on my head
And gave me an anointing of power and courage

I am a warrior
Borne of love

There are no buts or ifs or excuses anymore that I can lean on
The truth is spilling through me and for once I'm
not moderating it
It's wild and terrifying
People are scared
I'm scared
Because I realize now
That I can no longer live this lie
that I've been living for so long
The truth is making sure of it
The truth is pouring through me,
And this time,
I'm willing to speak it.

Take me to a sky
In the night
And I’ll lay on the cold ground
And cry
As I let myself be absorbed into the stars
I’ll let the pain of believing I’m not good enough
Dissolve into the winter air
Releasing every burden, every care

Within the moment
Of a shared smile:
Squinched eyes
A heart connection

In that moment
I see
Everything I need to know.

How can you say you care about people,
When you can't even care for a person?

Words are pointless
I listen, people are dumb
I open my mouth to speak
I try to push out the words-- my brain has none.

Sleep is pointless
I have so much research to do
What's all this research for?
I implore, I implore
My mind wants more.

Am I being told the facts?
Or just versions of the facts in which truth lacks?
Skepticism is driving me mad
Have you ever let knowledge drive you to the brink?
Must I stop what is natural to me: to think?

Thinking is pointless.
Now nothing is hopeless
Because once I stop thinking
The death in the truth will not be seen
And I can live carefree and dream.
I can live my life whichever way I please.
Just like everyone else is doing around me.

But no, I choose a different path
The one of aberration
I choose not to live a pointless life along with the masses
I am reaching out to a higher awareness
No matter how many times this course puts me in the throes of sadness.

My wounds come to me as offerings,
Inviting me to journey into my deepest brokenness to excavate the lessons in my wounds and ultimately heal them.

You are ******* alive,
Look into my eyes,
Brother
Open your mouth to scream
I see blood on your knees
Get up from that ground, boy
You have a life to live,
And it's all yours
Why do you blame everything on fate?
In this life, there is never a "too late"
Oneday, you will awake
And just like me,
You will see
All the time you wasted on the mediocrity,
All that time wasted on fitting in
But brother,
Trust me
The worst thing you can do is give in

You are ******* alive,
Breathe that polluted air through your nostrils
Cling to decaying ways
Pick love up in your arms in the morning
And feel all the pain of this world
Everything is dead or dying
But here you are, right now
Upon this barren earth,
Crying
Sighing as if it were your last breathe
But must I remind you,
That you are alive?
Look out at the sunrise
Feel your beating pulse
Dance in endless wildflowers
Rid yourself of all that is false.

You can’t always get what you want, they say
Daily grievances can burn a person’s resolve away
As the burdens increase
A person’s will can decrease
Leaving them faint and weary

The masses believe a little positivity can heal any rift
But recklessly imbibing positivity can make it difficult for reality and fantasy to sift
Reality can be draining, there’s no doubt
But you can’t live your life in a cloud.

I look into your blue stars
Shining and surrounded by lines of joy
Made by the wide smile on your face
Your eyes tell me more than your words ever could
Your eyes tell me how much you care.

You wanna heal,
Don’t you
But breaking the ingrained patterns of generations
Is hard
But you’ve grasped the idea
And now you just can’t let it go,
This notion that you could be stronger, healthier, more joyful— inviting all of life in through your senses
And just letting go
Of all the heavy burdens that have weighed you down for so long
You’ve spoken your burdens for years
But speaking never beget change
The change you ached for, the transformation you only theorized about
But what you didn’t know
Is that this idea of healing
Was a seed that was planted into your heart
And this kind of seed
Takes a long time to gestate
So even if you haven’t seen visible changes in yourself and in your life
Just know that the seed has cracked open
And is spreading deep roots,
Replacing the roots of your traumas
Your healing, when it is born and continues to grow in its visible manifestation
Will appear differently than how you imagined it
Yet you will be more overjoyed by its reality than by your limited fantasy of it
Your healing
Will be a revolution to yourself and to all those you have ties with
Some won’t understand your changes, neither will you at times
But just continue to listen to your heart, it’s simple, inviting song
And rest in all the beauty that is unfolding before you and within you.

Your love is light and bouyant and free,
With you I laugh like a child
And can be completely me
How long has it been since I've loved so passionately?
You're a friend,
And I'll get to know you,
Slowly,
Steadily,
But surely
The more time I'm around you,
The more I fall,
Into this deep love
Rooted in reality
But I'm still dazed
I've waited a thousand days
To have a love so real
Patience has paid off
But their is still more time to pass,
I don't crave to push and pull or grab and claw
All I need is to be able to look into your eyes,
Get lost in those deep blue skies
Where true feelings cannot hide,
Where I can't conceal with pride,
And you see the little child inside
Holding out her beating heart,
For you

So my love,
Take my hand
My heart is a sunset
And I'm asking you to be my man,
Collect my sunset,
Put it in your pocket,
Take a picture of my face and put it in a locket
Let's sit on that hill behind your house
And watch the sky fall dark
And in those moments of dwindling light,
Maybe our camaraderie will ignite a spark.