'mam' poems - Hello Poetry

Anu Mehta Sep 2019

किसी ने सच कहा है, कोई तो बात है आप मे जो इतनी गहरी हैं कि हर कोई आपको पाना चाहता है, कोई तो बात है, आप मे जो इतनी गहरी हैं कि हर कोई आपके दिल में रहना चाहता है, पर उन लोगो को कौन समझाए ये आपका
दिल है कोई धर्मशाला नहीं……..
जन्मदिन एक विशेष अवसर होता है मैं इस अवसर पर अपनी Mam को ये एहसास दिलाना चाहती हूँ कि
आप मेरी ज़िन्दगी में बहुत ही ख़ास जगह है. ... ये रिश्ता ऐसा रिश्ता है जो भले ही खून का नहीं लेकिन ये खून के रिश्तों से भी बढ़कर है, सबसे पहले आपको जन्मदिन की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं……….।
दोस्ती की मिसाल हो आप, ज़िन्दगी जीने की नई आस हो आप, चाहे कितना भी दूर क्यों ना हो, दिल के हमेशा पास हो आप । Happy Birthday to You Mam………………
उन दिनों की बात है जब मैंने Aishwarya Health Care में 07- Aug- 2014 Join किया था, तब मेरे लिए सब नया - नया था । नये-नये लोग, नया माहौल, Over all सब कुछ नया था । नये - नये लोगो की नई -2 बाते, कुछ लोग Mind Game खेलते रहते थे कुछ लोग निचा दिखने में लगे रहते थे कुछ समझ में नहीं आता था किस पे भरोसा करे, किस पे नहीं करे……….।
Company में (Aishwarya Health Care) सारे लोग अजनबी थे, उनमें से एक अजनबी ऐसा था जो मेरे लिए बहुत बड़ी अहमियत रखता था, वो मेरे लिए किसी फरिश्ता से कम नहीं था, उन्होंने मुझे एक नई ताकत और हर रोज एक नई प्रेरणा देता थे । Aishwarya Health Care में एक नया माहौल अनुभव हो रहा है । जब "Office (नौकरी) में मेरा मन नहीं लग रहा था, मेरा धीरे-२ से बोलना, कम बात करना और जब दुनिया मेरा मज़ाक उड़ाती थी, ऐसा मानो मेरी किस्मत मेरे से रूठी थी सबने मुझे ठुकराया था, जब मैं तनहा और उदास थीं! उस पल वो अजनबी मेरे साथ थे तब उस अजनबी ने मुझे गले लगाया था!! वो अजनबी और कोई नहीं वो मेरी Mam है उनका नाम Neha Sunder है वो Account & Finance Department के Sr. Executive है… बल्कि वो उम्र में भी मुझ से बड़े है पर उन्होंने आज तक कभी Sr. होने का Attitude/ Ego नहीं दिखाया । धीरे-धीरे हम दोनों का एक-दूसरे के प्रति लगाव (Attachment) दिन प्रतिदिन बढ़ता गया । मुझे उनका बोलने का तरीका और उनकी आदतें बहुत अच्छी लगी । उनके साथ उठना बैठना और कई बार उनका अंदाज ऐसा भी होता है कि प्यारी मुस्कान दिल को छू जाती है । उनकी छोटी-२ चमकदार आंखें और उनके लंबे काले बाल अन्य लोगों की तुलना बहुत ज्यादा सुन्दर  लगते । मै Company में जब पहली बार उनसे मिला थी । तो वो मुझे बहुत अच्छे लगे थे, कभी सोचा नहीं था वो भी मेरे से इतने Attach हो जाएँगे जितना मै उनके साथ Attach हुई हूँ । जब वो मुझे छोटी छोटी बातें समझते थे, मुझे बहुत अच्छा लगता था । पर मुझे आज तक एक बात समझ नहीं आई आज के समय कोई इतना अच्छा कैसे हो सकता है । Mam मैं एक बात कहना चाहती हूँ । thank You So much मेरी ज़िन्दगी में आने के लिए और इतने अच्छे Moments देने के लिए, आपके साथ बिताया हर लम्हा बहुत खास है । जब भी मुझे कोई समस्या होती थी तो वो हमेशा मेरा साथ देते थे । जब मेरे में बहुत कमियां  तब उन्होंने मुझे अपनाया था, बहुत कुछ सिखाया था किस से कैसी बात और कितनी बात करनी चाहिए । अच्छे बुरे के बीच में अंतर करना सिखाया था, Over All वो बहुत अच्छे है मेरे पास शब्द भी नहीं उनका धन्यवाद कैसे करूँ ?
धीरे -२ समय बीतता चला गया समय के साथ हमारी दोस्ती भी गहरी होती गए । (Good Luck) एक सबसे अच्छी बात हम दोनों में कभी छोटी मोटी नोक - जोक तक नहीं हुई । समय का पहिया चाहता रहा कितना कुछ बदलता गया (जैसे - उनकी शादी हो गई और शादी के एक साल बाद एक baby boy हुआ) Mam का प्यारा से एक परिवार है । लोग कहते है शादी के बाद इन्सान बदल जाता है या फिर अपने घर परिवार में busy हो जाता है । पर मुझे कभी Feel नहीं हुआ की वो busy है या फिर Change हो गए है । आज भी उनके दिल वही जगह जो मुझे 5 साल पहले दी थी ।  I LOVE YOU MAM
Mam दोस्ती ही तो है एक ऐसा रिश्ता है जो जिंदगी के एक रंग में भी कई रंग दिखाता है ।
वरना बिना दोस्तों के रंगीन जिंदगी भी बेरंग सी नजर आती है ॥
Mam आपकी सच्ची दोस्ती से बढ़कर इस दुनिया में कुछ कहाँ है ।
आप जैसा एक दोस्त सच्चा है आप जैसा तो अपना सारा जहाँ है ॥
आप साथ हो मेरे तो डर किस उड़ती चिड़िया का नाम है ।
मस्त- मस्ती में बस हर दम खिलखिलाने का मेरे काम है ॥
जब हो कोई tension या किसी problem से हों परेशान ।
तब आप के साथ होने से ही हो जाता है सारी समस्या का समाधान ॥
आपकी नजरें ही कह देती हैं चल Anu इसे भी देख लेते हैं ।
और हर भी पल में यूँ ही मुस्कुराने की हिम्मत दे देते हैं ॥
जब होता है आपका साथ तो खुद में ही हिम्मत सी आ जाती है
और चेहरा घोर उदासी में भी खिलखिला कर मुस्कुरा पड़ता है ॥
आप ही तो हैं जो बिना कुछ बोले सब जान लेते हैं ।
और हर expressions को दूर से ही भाँप लेते हैं ॥
आप के साथ मिल कर हर बोझ हल्का हो जाता है ।
आप से मिलकर पल में ही मन को सुकून मिल जाता है ॥
दिन भर शरारत करना और रात भर उन पर खिलखिलाना ।
और पुरानी बातों का ताजा करके यूँ ही पूरा दिन बिताना
अब हो गए है आदत ॥
Mam वो अजब गजब शरारते और कई कारनामों का बबाला ।
वो शरारत की चटनी और शोर शराबे का मसाला ॥
वो code words का खेल और लोगो को चिढाना ।
और लोगो के नये नये नामों का बनाना ॥
सब वो शरारते याद आएगी…………………
वो Saturday की planing करना और अपने Group का active होना।
वो पेड़ के नीचे खड़े होकर अपने Group में अपनी बातो पे खिलखिलाकर जोर जोर से हसँना…………
Mam मेरी सच्ची दोस्त सिर्फ आप है, सच्चा दोस्त रखने वाला संसार में सबसे धनवान है ।।

सब की ज़िन्दगी मे कोई ना कोई इंसान ऐसा होता है जो सब से खास, सब से प्यारा होता है। चाहे वो मम्मी या पापा, भाई - बहन आदि हो सकते है । ऐसा इंसान जिसकी जगह बहुत खास होती है । क्या आपकी ज़िन्दगी में भी कोई ऐसा इन्सान है तो निचे Comment Box मे उस इन्सान का नाम जरूर लिखे…………
मेरे पास अल्फ़ाज़ नहीं है कि, मैं उनका शुक्रिया कैसे अदा करूं, जिन्होंने मुझे कितना कुछ सिखाया है आप भी सोच रहे कौन है ऐसा जो इतना प्यारा और खास है, चलो आइए मैं भी आपको उस इन्सान से मिलवाती हूँ जो मेरी ज़िन्दगी में बहुत खास और सब से प्यारा है । उनकी आवाज़ में वो जादू है जो मैं इज़हार नहीं कर सकती, वो मेरे लिए उस खुदा की तरह है जिसका दीदार मैं कर नहीं सकती……….।

#happybirthday #nehamam

Nikunj Dec 2012

Farewell Poem: dedicated to JMC

Nikunj Dec 2012

Farewell Poem: dedicated to JMC

out from school we came to jmc,
to become what our parents wanted us to be.
with NC we enjoyed harrapan and vedic civilization,
Ashima mam taught us Transition ( paleo to noelithic).
writing 10 sides answer seemed IMPOSSIBLE,
15/25 only left us numb.
coming for hindi at 8:30 was really irritating,
mam's msg of cancelling the class was even m
ore *******.
Tues and wed 8:30 were scolding days,
since frustated JS splited her anger on us.( though i like her lot)
om sai ram and gandhi was KN's department,
though antique, she was another inspiration.
enjoyed Montage for the first time,
Chronicle was the accomplishment for the lifetime.
first year ended so rapidly,
90%ees were satisfied with 60s.
then we met the iron lady of our department (chaddha mam)
she asked questions after every second point.
RS Sharma got replaced by sultans of delhi and Satish Chandra,
every notebook had words like sufi, bhakti and Iqta.
transition frm feudalism to capitalism muddled our heads,
Dobb and Sweezy never left us till the end.( remember jha's ******* :P)
enjoyed boston tea party and civil war in States,
though never understood out of khiljis and tuglaqs- who is great?
****** taught us stress, depression and suicide,
we almost got killed by Bronte's Wuthering Heights!
Orcha trip was another milestone,
Khajurao sculptures turned all of us on :P
pool party with "tinku jiya" was superfun,
each one of us made good connections.
Second year also got over and we entered in our own little world- T9.
everything was new to us,
future tension always bothered us!
Journey to China and Japan with Chakko was great,
though we never grew intellectually and understood decline of Shogunate.
Gazala mam introduced us to napoleon and bismarc,
became our friend. guide and mentor.
Chadda mam took us to royal court of mughals and rajputs,
but Iqta and jagir still confuses us!
Sleeping time came with menon's class,
18th cent and 1857 always bored us. (though i admit she is a great scholar)
we stopped studying and started enjoying life to the fullest,
since history taught us no matter what Peasant is the one who will be suppressed!
Montage 2012 rocked,
DJ Aqeel's ferrari left us in shock!
Postponing and preponing the classes was 3rd year's trait,
petty fights over it were always great.
Since first year we all wanted this day to come,
to wear saree and have FUN.
BUT....
the Farewell day has passed :(
From now onwards... NO cancelling or preponing classes, no prof to scold us, no NSS hours to complete, no deadlines of tuts, no canteen's samosas and macroni, no diwali mela, no Montage and Chronicle, no Ashok bhaiya, no ******* and commenting and last but not the least NO HISTORY HONS 3rd YEARS (2009-2012)
No one realised how these beautiful 3 years passed away.our eyes are wet but heart is content.
just wanted to tell everyone that i will miss you all. though i may have not interacted much with everyone, but I wish you all the very best for your future...

So superseniors,
leave all grudges behind and enjoy the last week of your college life at JMC to the fullest

Camellia-Japonica Sep 2014

The story of me. (Write for me part VII Joe Cole)

Camellia-Japonica Sep 2014

The story of me. (Write for me part VII Joe Cole)

From quiet homes and first beginning, Out to the undiscovered ends, There's nothing worth the wear of winning, But laughter and the love of friends.
Hilaire Belloc (1870-1953), British author. "Dedicatory Ode," Verses (1910).

Dear Parents

Thank you for deciding after two years of marriage to have a child, me.
Sorry I wasn't the boy that so many of my family desired, sorry I was late, sorry that you missed the "Rumble in the Jungle", if it's any consolation I know who won.
How I came to be is quite beyond me. Father's family disliked mothers and vice versa. Dad a steelworker, Mam a trainee chef, dad flipped a coin with a mate, my mother was the stake.
Four years later sister came along, then another four years the son, that so many yearned for made an appearance.
I saved my sister's life from my grandparent's dog, lost an ear in that battle, a bit like Van Gogh. Plastic surgery at seven, still hate Cocker Spaniels to this day. I tell everyone I saved her from a rabid Doberman (I know parents, there's no Rabies in Great Britain) what did I get for my trouble? A stuffed white cat and a sister that I made sit in a cow pat.
Thank you parents for sending me to a school that made other kids suspicious of me. A welsh medium school, might as well have been Hogwarts, but they taught me well, (I can swear in five languages) and read and spell.
Dad taught me how to head ****, mam you taught me how to make cake.
My sister taught me how to share, my brother taught me how really not to care. Live each day as if it may be your last, I told my brother that often.
Dad, one of 13 kids, mam one of 3, like me. Dad, I hate your sisters that are alive they remind me of the Moirai, or the three witches from Macbeth, I've tried to like them but I'm terrible at lying, and to be honest they are in their late 70's so they must be close to dying.
Mam, your sister is a lesbian, I think her army days gave that away. Your brother like mine a source of consternation a Navy man that never went to sea????
Now, my grandparents are all dead. Apparently, I have inherited my father's mother's temper. She disappeared for 3 days when she thought she'd killed my grandad!
I'm married now, no rug rats thank God, I'm aunty material, selfish and wicked.
Now, this sounds I know a little quaint and odd, but I know we've had our share of bad luck, but, 42 years wed, still in the family home, surrounded by trees, neighbours we've known for years and people we'd like to poison. But,we've laughed so hard mam you have a hernia, dad you are the male equivalent of a ****, you'll be flirting in the OAP home **** yes, sorry parents as one of your three I get to pick the residential home! And, as they say,that is a good life.
Jo **
P.s I didn't mention our family mental illnesses, early 20th century communism, possible adultery, coveting the neighbours Ford Capri, or pet cemetery in the garden. I'll wait til all are dead then spill about the good secrets.

© JLB
17/09/2014
01:43 BST

#me #cole #challenge #joe

Wandisa Zwane Oct 2015

Something Like This But Not Like This

Wandisa Zwane Oct 2015

Something Like This But Not Like This

Written by

Wandisa Zwane

April 16, 2015

INT.  APT 3101 - THE BEDROOM

It's 02:31 am and I find myself laying silently on my bed scrolling through Instagram...Twitter...Tumblr....and Snapchat. I find myself struggling to go to sleep.  I wasn't even able to sleep for an hour or two. It's not normal as its way past my curfew. I receive a text message. I'm confused because it's
still too early for anyone to be texting me, and I know everyone nearby is fast asleep because we have school. So who could be texting me?

CUT TO: PHONE SCREEN

HER ( via text )

I'm struggling with the math homework, help ? Are you up ?

ME ( via text )

I am actually. FaceTime, call or text?

20 minutes later my phone starts ringing. She was FaceTiming me. I stare at her name for about 5 seconds trying to put myself together.

ME

Hello, Ellie

I wasn't focused on the math. I was hoping that we could forget about the math and just talk about us and the futility of life. For some stupid reason I really thought you were gonna say something cheesy like I can't get you out of my head but can we just talk until we fall in love? But no it never happened as we had an hour long conversation about math.

CUE " MATH CONVERSATION"

The futility in that conversation was cosmic to the point where I began questioning existence. But when the call finally ended I was disappointed.

CUT TO: VARSITY

It's 8am and I'm at sitting in English tired and drained. Still contemplating about the futility of life.

HER

Hey, Tyler thanks for helping me with the math homework.

ME

Uhm Ellie do you want to come over too my apartment over the weekend and chill ?

CUT TO: APARTMENT 3101

It's 12am and the apartment is really untidy. I jump out of bed and clean the entire apartment in a record time of 12 minutes and 44 seconds. I'm going crazy over here as I'm trying to remember if I gave her the correct directions. Thank god I gave her the correct directions as I see the uber pulling up in front of the apartment complex. I start sweating and shaking and I'm fearful that I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I start cringing.
I open the door the door and it's her standing directly in front of me. I can't breathe. I'm overwhelmed by an awe of emotions. Literally - she's beautiful

ME

I mumbled - Hey Ellie it's so good to see you ( the hug was very awkward because I was nervous - it was one of those hugs where both people don't know how to hug each which makes things really awkward)

HER

Hi

ME

So glad you could make it. How was the drive ( note to self: I should stop making things awkward ) I'm so irritated at myself.

CUT TO:  APARTMENT 3101 - LIVING ROOM

She's sitting on the couch. And I'm sitting right next to her. Okay let's just say there was a 30cm gap between the both of us. I was really nervous. I found myself drinking gallons of water. I forgot to offer her anything. I was nervous to the point where I couldn't even make eye contact. I just stared at her forehead and her lips.

ME

Aren't you exhausted I mean that drive was really long ( she lived like 3 blocks away from me )

HER

Not really , I'm just really stressed about varsity and stuff I guess.

We actually start conversing with one another for 5 hours straight.We smoke about 3 cigarettes and have the most fruitful conversation ever about female energy and the power of the the heart. She's really enlightened - I thought she was really basic. We both can't go to sleep because we're actually  enjoying the presence of one another. It was cathartic and refreshing actually.

ME

Want go up to the roof and look at the universe?

HER

I'd love too.

CUT TO : COMPLEX ROOF

I brought a blanket up to the roof cause I thought it was cold. It wasn't but we just layed down underneath the open night sky and gazed into the stars. We connected with the universe/ourselves/each other. It was bliss. We ended up falling asleep on top of the roof. To my amazement we were silently wrapped around each other.

CUT TO: APARTMENT 3101 - THE KITCHEN

HER

( chuckling )
How'd you sleep

ME

( Smiling )
I slept pretty well.

ME

Do you have any plans for today?

HER

YES actually...

SEVERAL HOURS LATER: APARTMENT 3101 - KITCHEN/BEDROOM AND LIVING ROOM

The sun is setting and she still hasn't packed her bags.

ME

When are you leaving?

She said she was leaving on Sunday

HER

In 30.

ME

(I tried to not crack in front of her)
Cool.

APARTMENT 3101

About 2 weeks later she surprisingly pitches at my door with her luggage.

HER
I'm moving in with you!

I was excited at the fact that she was moving in with me but I obviously tried acting cool and composed.

CUT TO: WOLVES CAFE

As they're sitting there talking to each other about their families, Osho and meditation over a cup of tea.

ME

I was adopted.

HER

WOW - That's a huge plot twist.

She sat there speechless for about 2 minutes trying to fathom the knowledge I just presented to her.

HER

So do you ever think about your real parents?

ME

All the time - they both died in a car accident when I was 3.

HER

I'm so sorry.

ME

It's okay - I mean I know they're somewhere out there in the universe checking up on me. I speak to them when I feel lonely.

Enough about my tragic past..How are your parents?

I've never told any other soul about my parents before. She was the first person I ever told .

HER

I never knew my dad but my mom has been living with a brain tumour for like 2 years now.

ME

Wow. That's must've been so tough for you when you found out about it.

HER

It was. I went through the most vicious cycle of depression for an entire year. But I'm trying to make most of the time I have left with her.

ME

How much time do you have left to see her her and stuff ?

HER

(She starts tearing up)
3 months

CUT TO: APARTMENT 3101 - LIVING ROOM

I'm still fascinated by the fact that she's into Osho, existentialism, metaphysics and epistemology. But I also felt like our relationship had escalated so quickly. We're we rushing things? The relationship felt like it was moving at the speed of light.

ME

Do you feel like we're moving too fast ?

HER

There's no such thing, if it's meant to be it will be, whether fast or slow as long as it's true, it will last as long as you want it to.

I was momentarily tongue-tied as I was trying to digest the words she just said.

ME

......

(Still voiceless)

She still had a lot more to say after that

CUES : "rants"

But in that entire rant she said something that echoed within me.

HER

YOU KNOW I MAKE YOU HAPPY

After she said this I felt like fainting. So not only did she make me voiceless I was overwhelmed by an ocean of indescribable emotions- wow

DAYS LATER: APARTMENT 3101 - KITCHEN

I'd finally recovered from those powerful words she preached to me. So I found myself sitting in the kitchen trying to write a letter to her about how I really felt. I wasn't the best at expressing my emotions through writing but I gave it a shot.

ME

Love is the unforetold explanation for creation. Love is life. It's the merger of minds. The marriage of minds. It transcends through time, it's timeless. It takes you into a dimension filled with possibilities and opportunities. It helps you understand you are that you are not worthless. Every time I am with you I understand we are here for a reason. And every time I stare into your eyes. I realise that you are mine.

I sealed it an envelope and put it on the kitchen counter.

LATER ON THAT DAY:

She opens the letter and starts crying.

CUT TO: THE TREEHOUSE

I introduce her to some of the guys in the treehouse. They welcomed her to the treehouse with open arms.

HER

So what do you guys do in the treehouse?

PAUL : (one of the guys part of the treehouse)

Well in the treehouse we just try to expand. We write, make music, poetry, nothing much really.

MCDONALDS DRIVE- THRU

She was to lazy to go home and cook supper she was s bit hypocritical cause she said we should stop buying junk food. So we decided to go to McDonald's. We were down to our last packet of 2 minute noodles anyway.

CUT TO: HOSPITAL

We went to visit her mother. She introduced me but there was no warmth in the hug we shared. I could feel her shrill body disintegrating. She was really cold. You could see she was dying.

HER

How've you been mom ?

MOM

She couldn't even speak properly. It was sad but when she eventually managed to responded to Ellie's question.

MOM

I'm still fighting but I don't know if I can do this for much longer.

HER

No mum you can't leave me.

MOM

I don't want to make you empty promises my child.

Who's this handsome young man Ellie?

HER

(Smiling heavily)
It's Tyler, my boyfriend

She just called me her boyfriend in front of her mom. She just put a label on our relationship. I thought it was completely platonic.

ME

Afternoon Mam. It's a pleasure to finally meet you.

I knew her name ( Stacy )  but in that moment I felt like a child in primary school - so I decided to be respectful and call her mam. I wasn't sure whether or not I should call her "Ellie's mom" or Stacy. It was just a tricky situation. So I opted for mam.

MOM

( smiling )
The pleasure is all mine Tyler.

She told me to come closer to her cause she wanted to whisper something into my ear.

MOM

Tyler I'm clearly dying as you can see. So I'm leaving with you an important task of ensuring that's my daughter remains happy at all times.Take care of her for me - please

ME

I'll take care of her - she's in safe hands.

MOM

That's the spirit Tyler. Can you give us a moment please Tyler.

HER

Just go down to the kiosk and get me a bottle of distilled water. Please.

(Tyler leaves the room)

MOM

I remember the first time you wrapped your tiny hand around my index finger , you had my soul laying on 3 cms of palm.

( Ellie interrupts )

HER

Mom don't do this , prolonging life is pure idiocy.

(she smiles as a tear rolls down her cheek )

Die so your soul can have its summer ,don't worry about my pain cause I'm really happy for you, your soul can finally taste true liberation, see my tears as autumn leaves falling from trees , I'm naked and all I can show you is the truest forms of love.

MOM

You're so beautiful because you're so true. Our connection has no equation my daughter, as I leave my body just know that my time with you transcends forever.

HER

Mother it's time for you to leave. Take a piece of my happiness, it's futile anyway and I have it in abundance but I shall be lost without you in body, I shall be found when I'm with you in soul.

MOM

Clarity comes with the last breath, as hatred and love become nothing, you are nothing and everything all at once, I'm happy for you have given it to me, tomorrow and yesterday no longer matter

(her heart stops beating and her souls goes home - heart rate monitor indicates her mom has just flat lined)

Ellie starts screaming. The nurses and doctors come sprinting in.

DOCTOR

NUURSE HAND ME THE DEFIBRILLATOR !!

HER

(in agonising pain and disbelief that her mother is dead she starts screaming)

SAVE MY MUM, PLEASE SHE CANT LEAVE ME !! YOU CANT LET HER DIE.

DOCTOR

Nurse get her out of here.

She's kicking and shoving the other nurses as she is being escorted out the room.

NURSE

Don't worry the doctors are doing all they can to save her.

Tyler comes back from the kiosk with the distilled water to find Ellie on the floor crying.

ME

What's wrong?

HER

( Her face goes pale )
She's gone ....

2 DAYS LATER: BACK AT 3101

Ellie has locked herself in my/our room. We haven't spoken to each other for like 2 weeks.

She finally decides to come out of the room.

HER

(Breaks down, again  )
It's her birthday today.

I've never seen her so broken and disfigured before. She's in pieces - distorted.

NARRATOR

Death is the door between two lives; one is left behind, one is waiting ahead. Death is the ultimate experience of this life - Osho

“Birth leads to death, death precedes birth. So if you want to see life as it really is, it is rounded on both the sides by death. Death is the beginning and death is again the end, and life is just the illusion in between. You feel alive between two deaths; the passage joining one death to another you call life. Buddha says this is not life. This life is dukkha – misery. This life is death"

HER

I WONT CRUMBLE - IM A BIG GIRL NOW. MOMMA RAISED ME TO BE A STRONG WOMAN SO IM GONNA DO THAT.

She put up this facade as if nothing ever happened. She didn't allow herself to mourn the death of her mother. She was apathetic for the next 2 weeks.

This  was a tricky phase because she either woke up angry or sad. She just rampaged through the house, didn't attend lectures - she just left a trail of destruction wherever she went. I even have the scars to prove it.

A FEW WEEKS LATER: THE DEATH ORDEAL IS FINALLY OVER

She gained about 5 kilograms in that entire period. She just kept on stuffing her face with ice cream and chocolates

HER

Tyler thanks for being there in my moment of absolute depression.

ME

I thought you were never going to be able to get yourself out of that dark abyss you were trapped in.

AT THE BEACH

The sun is setting and the couple is walking along the sand enjoying each other's company.

ME

I've got something for you Ellie

( I hope she likes it )

HER

Yes?

ME

Close your eyes

(Takes out a heart shaped pediment from back pocket  and places it around her neck )

You can open your eyes now.

HER

(Smiling)
It's lovely, thank you

ME

(Smiling back)
I'm giving you my heart but not my soul.

HER

(Blushes)

ME

(In my head)
I'm giving her my heart she better not break it.

Have you ever had that feeling before in a relationship where you think you love the other person more than they love you. To the point where you'd even get their names tattooed onto your chest. Cause that's how I feel right now.

IN THE CAR:

I'm driving Ellie to the airport. OR Tambo in fact. I'm playing some Jamie ** but I quickly change it and play my favourite song Female Energy.

CUE "FEMALE ENERGY"

ME

You excited?

HER

Yes I'm really really excited for this.

ME

I'm really gonna miss you

HER

Me too.

Ellie was completing her mothers bucket list - so she had had to travel all the way to Tibet and learn Buddhism. Nothing much really she was leaving  for 2 months.

But little did Tyler know that this was going to be the last time he sees Ellie because her plane never landed in Tibet - the plane crashed and it sunk with no no one  surviving.

STILL IN THE CAR:

Ellie hands Tyler a letter

HER

Tyler please don't open this until you get home.

ME

(Smiling)
I'll try my best.

Car parks at drop and go zone at the airport. Tyler takes out Ellie's bag from the boot.

They hug and kiss

Ellie cries.

CUT TO : "APT 3101 - LIVING ROOM "

Tyler opens the letter.

CUE "ELLIES VOICE AND ON OUR SWEATERS "

It's funny how for someone who has been so used to being lonely, the second I grip onto something that seems real, my biggest fear is losing that grip - even though for the longest time ever I've become immune to the feeling of loneliness. The same way people become dependent on other beings, people can become dependent on loneliness too - you become immune to self reassurance, your insecurities, your vulnerability and after a while it seems ideal and okay, but only because it's all you've got. You allow yourself to be consumed by this self indulgent energy making you think you don't need anybody because how else do you get by when you know that you have nobody. So when someone comes creeping in through the front door, with nothing but good intentions - you shut them out because you've lost sight of the difference in the realness of someone coming through the front door and the fakeness of someone coming through the backdoor. I struggle to fathom your presence because I didn't see you coming, through any door, you were just always there in plain sight. I don't know how to describe what I feel when I'm around you because I have never felt anything like it. All I know is that it leaves me in a place

An incomplete screenplay.

punk rock hippy Jul 2014

Excuse me mam' there was an accident.

punk rock hippy Jul 2014

Excuse me mam' there was an accident.

The taste of my teeth is repulsive
All my fingers are jammed.

Blood should not be leaking in his head.

That red headed, freckled face kid was only doing the work of his god.

That broken nosed saint laying in his hospital bed.

I wonder if he wonders where his god went.

#blood #accident #saint #hospital #cousin #missionary

Chloe London Dec 2012

The Incredible Things You Do - You Amaze Me. - Mam

Chloe London Dec 2012

The Incredible Things You Do - You Amaze Me. - Mam

It all started when I was a baby,when I was nothing but a skeleton waiting to be filled with knowledge,love and care. And that's when I met you, you were the first person I set my tiny blue eyes onto. The most amazing person I will ever meet, and the first. Now that I'm almost filled with that knowledge,love and care I've came to realise that you're not only a mother but a friend, a best friend, someone I can always turn to when I am worried or lost in a problem. Or even if I just want a hug or someone to tell my they love me. You're there, you're my number 1. I love the fact that no matter how hard your day has been you always have time to listen, you always have time to be a mother - and a pretty good one at best.
I love the way you're always jolly and even on the occasion that you're not, you still have that happy expression and put all of your worries behind you to show that you're okay and it's amazing that you can wear a mask and throw all of your worries and fears behind it, to put on a brave face for me. Without you I would be miserable, without a mother I would be lost, without someone like you I don't know where I'd be now. I know we've had our bumps in the road but what's a mother-daughter relationship if we don't, right?:)
...without those bumps we wouldn't be where we are now, especially you, without that baby bump I wouldn't be here.
I just wanted you to know that no matter what happens I will always love you and there is nobody else I'd rather have to be my mother, even if I could choose, something would drive me to you. You're an amazing woman and I just wanted to let you know how incredible you are. You amaze me,seriously, you're the greatest role model in the world:) you're so beautiful and smart and wise and I couldn't ask for a better person to be in my life. Once again, I love you and I hope you forgive me for all the bad things I've did to damage the trust,bond and love between us, because there is nothing worse than a broken trust and a broken mother-daughter relationship. I don't know what I'd do without you. By the way, you're stunning and I never want you to change, stay smiley mam:3 you're the best!

Love,
Chloe x

Not much of a poem, more of a write up for a loved one

Donall Dempsey May 2018

ME MAM’S MIND (in memory of my mother Ita)

Donall Dempsey May 2018

ME MAM’S MIND (in memory of my mother Ita)

ME MAM’S MIND
(in memory of my mother Ita)

“If you fall
off that wall

& break both
your legs

...don’t come
running to me! ”

Could never understand
my Mam’s mind

& how it
worked.

One moment
she 'had half a mind

to come up there
&' get me off that wall.

Then she 'was in two minds
about' whether to tell me to stop.

“Go ahead...go ahead
& **** yourself

...see if I care! ”

“I’m warning you child
if you fall off that wall

& ****
yourself

I’ll personally
come up there

& **** ya myself
so I will! ”

I used to watch the words
climbing out of her mouth

& fly around the room

looking for a place to land
in my mind.

Never cared
whether she gave out.

I just loved
everything she said

the music of her
& how

she made the words
behave.

I came down
and kissed her

kissed her worry away.

'I'm sorry Mam'
I told her.

And she cried.

Molly Aug 2013

Mam was so happy to see you back again.

Molly Aug 2013

Mam was so happy to see you back again.

“Does this mean we can be friends-with-benefits again?”

Well, we are friends, and we were *******, like before.
It seemed like a reasonable question to ask.

“I don’t know, I have to figure some things out.”

You had always been so sure of yourself,
‘til now - there was a sadness in your voice
I had never heard before.

All I could do was turn over, breathe your smell
and hope you were
okay because

I didn’t have the right to ask you what was wrong.

Tom Leveille Sep 2016

for the hundred thousandth time

Tom Leveille Sep 2016

for the hundred thousandth time

okay so i’m beginning to believe i was born asleep and still haven’t woken up, or caught in a day dream where my name is the answer to all your security questions. okay. a thousand years of wondering and all i can come up with is that you fell in love with me at a picnic in my imagination. the lemonade we always talk about swimming in sugar and tiny handmade sandwiches from my kitchen, your favorite, extra pickle. don’t forget about the pickles. of course the clouds march in stomping out the sunshine, of course. it was dark and there was lightning so much lightning. don’t be scared just now darling don’t be scared. in the middle of the night we only talk about your version of the story. how i’d ask you to stay, asking you to tell me what’s real asking you with my hands asking you with maps, a country called please listen to me, you should know by now that it is an island too far to sail to according to you. i know i know, who dared name an ocean lonely when all the ships are sinking. we can go back we can turn around where the sky is the gentlest shade lavender, we can go back and have a conversation that has never happened before. when everything is the color of day old bruises i won’t let you down. i promise when i get home i will count every freckle every one. when i get home can we open one of those mason jars full of fresh air because i can’t breathe. i remember that day, although i pretend it was more recent than it was. you were there in a swell of green grass in a dress that makes me blush, and there i was blushing. i’m not sure how i made it out alive, skipping the part in the song where you, long gone come busting through a doorway, through the well air conditioned living room and and across the kitchen tile, to the refrigerator where just like in elementary school, my fourth grade heart wrote all your favorite things on flash cards in the blackest magic marker so i could memorize the things that made you happiest. and you turning around in slow motion to see my face, or where my face should be, the only expression i can make anymore, realizing that you realized that i only ever wanted to be something that made you happy. suddenly you’re tired, and i’m tired too, goodnight goodnight, i’m falling asleep because it’s the only thing that doesn’t burn. i’m falling asleep to go back again. everything glitches and i’m underneath your perfect teeth. you say “i would never hurt you” and i say “just like that?” and the layer starts over again, always back to the moment i asked you in my bravest of voices if i could hold your hand. you probably don’t remember that moment, or maybe you do but don’t particularly share the same sentiment over its importance. you see, i’m always fine until the part where i have to say it out loud, and then time stops. i have always wanted to tell you that something happened inside me that night and now i’m not the same me as i was before. so if you ever cross a bridge. if you ever get my voicemail, if you need me, i’ll be sketching up the dramatic parts in my head and they’ll happen just the way i imagined just you wait you wait. the last scene the very last one, the bottom layer, knee deep in mud knee deep in i told you so, you say “i would never hurt you” and instead of saying “just like that” i reach up to kiss you and the room evaporates. so if you want lemonade and bedtime stories, if i can make a believer out of you, if you want bucketfuls of november if you want grace if you want the courage it takes to ask for grace, you’re over the train tracks you’re almost home you’re almost there. what else can you say besides “okay pumpkin okay sweetheart, in my head everything was beautiful" the doorway now filled with people who send you birthday cards saying welcome back welcome home we’ve missed you, hello. hello. the time spent waiting, chorus of rain, i only invited you over so we could make perfect sense. i only gave my hands away because you didn’t want them anymore. and days later a man with a shark tooth necklace asked if i was okay and i lost it i just lost it. all the little red bricks with their little names carved into them, how they don’t feel comfortable under your feet, how there were hundreds of flowers but somehow we took a picture of the same one the very same one, and how we can’t talk about things like that anymore, how i was sitting on a bench and i didn’t hear you call my name, shaking hands on accident with your parents hello sir hello mam, your daughter is my favorite ghost.

my book "down with the ship" is availible for purchase at sanfransiscobaypress.com / Amazon.com

Shannon Apr 2014

The Elephant Gift.

Shannon Apr 2014

The Elephant Gift.

upon the elephant rode a boy prince,
his royal command, he was there to evince.
dark with grace and dripping with youth.
bringing his men, his crown and his couth.
town after town he strode fierce through the gates.
and any detractors were left to cruel fates.
and on one windy day, as they strode into town.
the faces where tenfold and a hush passed around
the grey of the creature with knowing black eyes
swayed left towards the crowd as if to capsize.
and the mass gasped in horror; bairns seized by their mam.
men flung at young ladies, babes pulled from the pram.
the bewildered and flustered
tired elephant sat.
in the center of all on the bald pastors hat.
the old pastor looked stunned to see such a disgrace.
until he remembered, and composed his face.
'your highness' he bowed. his manners restored.
but the poor prince was toppled his mighty seat floored.
they gasped for the prince, just really a child
dressed in fine silks on this elephant wild.
pastor said, 'here now' extending an arm
hand wrinkled and gnarled from the land that he farmed.
then the guards sprung to life as if sudden awake
guns point to the man of whose life they would take.
and just as they squinted their eye for the aim
a boy sang out sweetly, 'sire he's not to blame!'
and the prince from street where he lay in pool
held up his hand and recovered his rule.
he looked at the crowd and he said 'boy now speak'
the boy said, 'prince it is the prayers that you seek.
the prayers that you'd visit. the prayers that you'd stay.
lord must of heard them and granted this way.'
his eyes wide with truth and the love of his church
the prince laughed a beautiful belly filled lurch.
the carriage was called as the prince shared a feast.
and even some water was splashed on the beast.
such a good time as he danced and he spun
till the horses arrived in the dust of a run.
to thank the town and the lovely haired boy
the young prince gave up his own precious toy.
the beast stays quite put in the center of town...
but prayers said no more...so the prince won't fall down.

sahn
04/10/2014

*with love, for kales, jess & jt* (otherwise entitled "watch what you pray for, for you just might get it"

#story #light #visual #elephant #happy-ever-after

Floor Sep 2019

ik moet het toch ergens kwijt

Floor Sep 2019

ik moet het toch ergens kwijt

Lieve mama,

Je hebt mijn grafrede geschreven. Vol overtuiging heb je de pen op het papier gezet en de woorden laten vloeien.
Zonder enige twijfel kon jij zo je speech schrijven. Je deed het in het ziekenhuis, terwijl ik nietsvermoedend naast je zat. Je liet het me niet lezen, ik heb zelf je boekje gepakt. Nadat jij zo vaak mijn pijn op het papier heb kunnen lezen, leek het me niet meer dan eerlijk om te zien waar jij al zo lang mee zat. Uit je woorden kon ik opmaken dat je al een lange tijd aan het rouwen bent. Ik ben nog niet dood, maar je weet dat het eraan zit te komen. De constante schaduw van de suïcidale aanvallen hebben de monsters in je hoofd als een wild vuur aangewakkerd. Je gelooft niet meer in mijn leven. Het is een droom die ieder moment kan stoppen. Je weet dat je daarna nooit meer zult dromen en klampt je krampachtig vast aan de laatste beelden die je voor je **** halen. We hebben de laatste tijd niet meer dan ruzie gehad. We voelen de dood beide zo hard in ons nek hijgen dat we elkaar nauwelijks aan kunnen kijken. Het komt door mij. Wat zou het nu nog uitmaken of ik dood ga of niet. Ik heb je al zoveel pijn en verdriet gekost, dit kan zo niet verder mam. Ik wil je geen pijn meer doen. Je hebt mijn grafrede geschreven, verdomme mam. Je hebt het voor mij definitief gemaakt. Ik dacht dat ik er niet mee zou zitten, ik dacht dat ik mijn gevoel weer weg kon stoppen, maar mam je hebt het definitief gemaakt. Ik geef je nergens de schuld van. Ik had nooit dat boekje moeten pakken, maar mam je bent zo afgesloten. Ik wil weer met je zijn, samen kunnen lachen en huilen. Tegenwoordig kunnen we elkaar niet uitstaan. Ik voel de band niet meer. Ik begin mezelf weer langzaam terug te trekken en als het eenmaal zo ver is, zal het weer fout gaan. Het is voor mij, net als voor jou, een tikkende tijdbom. Ik sta op springen mam, ik kan niet meer. Ik vocht voor jou, maar jij hebt me al opgegeven. Jij bent al aan het rouwen voor een kind dat nog niet dood is.

Donall Dempsey Jan 2019

ME MAM’S MIND (in memory of my mother Ita)

Donall Dempsey Jan 2019

ME MAM’S MIND (in memory of my mother Ita)

ME MAM’S MIND
(in memory of my mother Ita)

“If you fall
off that wall

& break both
your legs

...don’t come
running to me! ”

Could never understand
my Mam’s mind

& how it
worked.

One moment
she 'had half a mind

to come up there
&' get me off that wall.

Then she 'was in two minds
about' whether to tell me to stop.

“Go ahead...go ahead
& **** yourself

...see if I care! ”

“I’m warning you child
if you fall off that wall

& ****
yourself

I’ll personally
come up there

& **** ya myself
so I will! ”

I used to watch the words
climbing out of her mouth

& fly around the room

looking for a place to land
in my mind.

Never cared
whether she gave out.

I just loved
everything she said

the music of her
& how

she made the words
behave.

I came down
and kissed her

kissed her worry away.

'I'm sorry Mam'
I told her.

And she cried.

Donall Dempsey Dec 2023

ME MAM'S MIND( In memory of my mother Ita)

Donall Dempsey Dec 2023

ME MAM'S MIND( In memory of my mother Ita)

ME MAM’S MIND
(in memory of my mother Ita)

“If you fall
off that wall

& break both
your legs

...don’t come
running to me! ”

Could never understand
my Mam’s mind

& how it
worked.

One moment
she 'had half a mind

to come up there
&' get me off that wall.

Then she 'was in two minds
about' whether to tell me to stop.

“Go ahead...go ahead
& **** yourself

...see if I care! ”

“I’m warning you child
if you fall off that wall

& ****
yourself

I’ll personally
come up there

& **** ya myself
so I will! ”

I used to watch the words
climbing out of her mouth

& fly around the room

looking for a place to land
in my mind.

Never cared
whether she gave out.

I just loved
everything she said

the music of her
& how

she made the words
behave.

I came down
and kissed her

kissed her worry away.

'I'm sorry Mam'
I told her.

And she cried.

*

It was the moment I grew up...seeing her not just as me Mam but as another human being with her own fear and worries...she became a person in her own right. I was so disgusted with myself for causing that fear and after that I tried to look after her as much as I could. seeing the world not just with my eyes but with her eyes. I became in a way her mother. Me mothering my mother.

— The End —