The l'll girl in a calm sleep
In a black coat & a white jeans
A Poet I'm deep inside
A hard nut shell she wore around
I'm a Godchild
She's an Angel
The other day I bribe her
A red Rose
A lit up candle
She's shy so nervous am I
Trembling lips still I said
God has plans so we met
An Angel grows up to a mighty Princess
Would you be mine for the left !!! - 20.07.2016

were you a 50's
godchild in the city,
wing-tipped feet
running the streets
all week, ketchin hell...
then you gots that check
come friday
and needed a taste of heaven...

you and the dog pound
swung mid-town
to broadway & 47th
after 9,
and joined the line spilling
from the royal roost round 48th...

by 10, the joint was jammed
with gents well-coifed,
matching honeys, and the sounds
of money being made:

chime of silverware ~ cling,
and the cash register's ~ swish cha-ching,
and the chatter of guests,
servers and bartenders
doing their thing ~ wah da bing

then the lights dimmed
leaving a semi-dark haze
of gray smoke swirling
over the crowd,
and mc symphony sid
grabbed the mike:

"...welcome to the friday nite jam session
at the metropolitan bopera house
ladies and gentlemen...."

hysterical hoots and applause
followed
as  the circular spotlight paused
center stage,
unveiling:

~ the miles davis nonet ~

featuring,
max on drums,
john on keys,
gerry and lee on sax
and a genius
on trumpet

'twas the birth of cool
and soon the rhapsody
of modern jazz
waxed hypnotic,
casting a spell
over god's children
when budo chased lady bird
down allen's alley,
spittin'...
          riffin'....
boppin'...,
          po­ppin'.....
superfluidity
like acid through
varicosed veins

the earth stood still
it seemed
for 4 thrilling hours
as heaven rained a rifftide
onto the lucky crowd...

and dewey's sublime trumpet
exorcised the devil
from the week that was...

~ P (Pablo)
(7/24/2013)

she smiles for me
she was born beautiful
with golden hair and green irises
but when did she get so pretty?
a pleasant upside down triangle smile
a collaboration of lips, teeth, cheeks and eyes
shining in affection for me
for happy childhood memories
singing Disney songs
painting unicorns and waterfalls
stringing beaded bracelets
and learning how to draw good
because she "keeps on trying"
at times she was the devil's child
incorrigible
other times she was the sweetest
little chatterbox
at the corner drugstore
I couldn't get her to stop talking
"Why are we following that man?"
she said within his earshot
"Because he knows the way out", I replied
at four years old
she could beat me at video games
truly a kid from outer space
now a young woman
at life's threshold
with doubts and questions
and confidence
and more strength than she knows she has
working and going to school
I have no fears for her future
I know she'll keep on trying
till she gets what she wants
that was my advice
spoken so many years ago
to my little niece
my Godchild
Dani

EVIL IS AS EVIL DOES 10-13-09

Evil is as Evil does. Thoughts are just that.... thoughts. Deeds are deeds. A thought is not a deed unless it is carried out.

I am a good person; I know that for a fact.

BUUUUT...........it doesn't mean I always do good things.

Still, most of my crimes are altruistic. I risked my entire sanity the other day as I left  Sam's Club/Costco, etc.

I was walking back to my truck and parked next to me was a BEEAAuuutiful Porch convertible, Black; doe skin interior, all leather and polished wood.

16 inches away from me was an 800.00 Dollar Ipod, resting peacefully and securely in its little Ipod holder mounted to the dash. SIXTEEN INCHES.

I got in my truck and got out of my truck. Again, I got in my truck and out of my truck.

My Godchild, K had just had her Ipod stolen.

So, I figured "*** for Tat".

Being as stupid as I can be (on record), I went for it. The car alarm raised me higher than my truck. Panicked, I sped out of the parking lot and called my therapist. In a frantic voice, I disillusioned "OH, My God! I've just committed ******!!!”  Or at least that's how it felt.

My neighbor was swimming in my cheap above ground pool when I got home.

She asked a simple question: "Well, Hmmmmm....did you take the Ipod from the vehicle?"

Now this puts a completely different spin on my sin.

"Uh, noooooo, uuuhhh, I was just looking at it!"

I couldn’t believe how easy it was to change my view. But she was right, I hadn't committed theft, I almost did. And I'm the kind of person that would chase someone down in a parking lot to return his unknown, dropped, wallet.

This one always get my head spinning: …”Even though I walk In the SHADOW of the Valley of Death”….

Uh, wait a tic. The SHADOW of a bee can not sting you. The SHADOW of a cat can not scratch you. The SHADOW of a snake can not bite you.

What the fuuuh?  I kind of get it. Our brains are weird. Our thoughts are strange. Thank God for that...most of the time....

Love, Susan

PS: But I'm still kind of ****** at the arrogant *******, who so blatantly demonstrated how rich he was.

see, it’s just—
i was gonna be great, y'know?
i was gonna be godchild,
i was gonna be stardust,
i was gonna find the top of the world,
make my home there—
all these things people thought i could do.
told me i was capable of.
and instead—
i don’t know, but here i am.
a patchwork of apologies, a clump of soil.
something full of not enough.
here i am. trembling joints and hitching breaths,
hunching shoulders and uncertainty.
i don’t know.
here it is. i am sorry.
the cusp of another breakdown.

"Spiritual testing is the means to the teach lessons and release the things that no longer serve us"

Time to arrange the jewelry box
I do this as a from of meditation
My body responds heavily
Perhpas somewhere in the middle
Of all these pieces I will find
My suppressed femininity

I look through everything
Silvers together
Each in their own box
Only own a few gold pieces
Be sure to find them all
The memory of the lost necklaces
Flashed by many times

The family heirlooms are still here
Old German silver, the stamp ring
The Hawaian corals
And the handcrafted tree
That holds precious stones
But where are the diamond earrings

They aren't really mine
Never considered them to be mine
Just like the necklaces
That were given
From Godmother to Godchild
As a way to express love
In this way, they were priceless
My stress levels rise up
This is exactly why I don't wear jewelry

help me* I whisper to the sky
An image appears before my eyes:
I'm putting them in a small plastic  bag
To make sure I don't lose them
****, what did I do
go about your day, they will turn up
Says a soft whisper
And I feel a smile upon me
you will learn something

I go about my day
And as I clear out the mess I made
Making sense of things
I find a small plastic bag
That holds a pair of diamond earrings and a ring
I'm not that irresponsible to lose them

The smile is upon me again...
*you have learned your lesson

Unnaming pro-lifers, I
was ready to imitate
the song of the ruins.

Rising like a phonex
from the spermaceti of flames,
a unisexual rage,
engulfs the smoke of burning homes.

I am painting you
black, O white god, your
devotees were coming in the ****.

Bend down angel; the eclectic
door was small and the beautiful
windows were closed.

No need to wait for
a lost moon. The godchild
had been laid to rest in scythe bed.

Come when you are
going to faint in the arms
of poems. I will stay for eternity.

Giggling
The smell of baby powder
Oranges and hide away
Playing pretend with the dog -
the most expensive Barbie we owned.
sharing clothes
sharing parties
sharing rooms
sharing blood and parents and siblings and friends and smells and memories and
Little snores, keeping time through the night
A weird little heartbeat letting me know
you were always there with me.

Fights rising up like
Our summer storms
Sudden and violent,  persistent enough
To drench our memories.
Scary enough to send you crying
Sometimes to mom
sometimes just to yourself
somehow, as an enemy,
you were always there with me.

Manhunt in the neighborhood
flashlights in the dark
playing jungle
adrenaline fresh through our blood
tagging along like - a little friend
a little nuisance
a little sister
you were always there with me.

Fighting my own battles
the windshield wipers on my eyelids
couldn’t keep up
and so I couldn’t always see
you were always there with me.

then I went away right?
and so we split
grades, grades, grades, boys
for the both of us.
the most distant we’d both been
Yet something starting there
hard enough to see
something new growing and
all that time
you were always there with me

Now you have
your own baby powder smells
and your kids have their own dog
to dress up
you live just a bit away
but somehow
the less we share the more we give to one another.
well
the more I give to you
I don’t think you were ever the problem
Because
You were always there with me

and now you give me
nephews
and a godchild
chances to be a hero
to be the best (SO WHAT IF I’M THE ONLY?!)
aunt.
game night memories
And one on one time
In your life times one hundred chaos
in your cookie filled house
a place to always stay
an ear to always have
a harbor from my storms
somehow
you make all this space
for your tag along nuisance of
an older sister
as the closest kind of friend.
Because somehow,
luckily enough for me
You are always here with me.

I start breaking―
after the hate call.

Like emery paper,
something rubs my lips.
A raw affection bleeds.

It was only dust. I don't
want to wait for my tomorrow.

A conduit forbids
to improve the congenital
lisp of a godchild. You want
to preserve the ****** innocence.

Tears on both sides,
who will wipe off the scars
of the moon?

Not universal,
you were the cosmos,
staring into the eyes of void.

Deformed and slapped together, Dr. Leonardo Frankenstein was father.

Against science and god I am birthed from the rubble and chaos of a pop culture gate that split the two worlds.

My soul is old yet I'm a child in a body of middle age, I am stuck halfway between mortal and divine, I am conflicted about my inner workings because I fully understand them yet I understand them to know they cannot be fully understood, father says I am perfect and in his perfection he has found flaws, so I am perfectly flawed.

Halfway between a friend a threat, I resent all yet I do not repent.

I am the Godchild of Man's love of self, I am art and therefor can be sold.

To market I go, scrap my pieces and build a better creation.

I am flawed and so I was made out of a perfect image, the funhouse mirror reveals the truth, a distorted freak dressed in human clothes, I can talk like you, think like you, yet I'm a hodgepodge of humanity.

I am the atom bomb of humanity, ready to explode and take it all with me.