I still have too long a life ahead
To get rid of these feelings, right?
I want to try doing over
The things I've left undone.
I thought I was running after
Something carried over from my dreams.
Yet I'm stumbling into people
On this narrow, winding road.
It's not like I want to go back
To the way things were back then.
I'm just searching for the sky
I've been losing.
Here's hoping you'll understand.
Stop making that sad face
As though you were a victim.
Sins don't end with tears
You have to carry the pain forever.
Who am I waiting for, in this maze of emotions
With no way out in sight?
I want to purge myself more simply
As if writing in a blank notebook.
What is it I want to escape from..
...Is it reality?
It makes me want to scream that we're alive
For things to come true.
Can you hear me?
I can't put up with playing it safe.
I've got nowhere to go home to.
I'm always grateful for kindness
That's why I want to grow stronger.
(I'm on my way)
I even welcome this pain
For the things I miss.

"There's no such thing as a painless lesson-they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary. You can't gain anything without losing something first. Although if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you'll find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle. Yeah... a heart made Fullmetal."

It will end, just not when you want it to/
We are not gods; we're bugs/
Smashing our faces on the window pane/
Stubborn disposition/
One of us will break, and it ain't me/
Bull with bloodshot eyes/
Seeing red/

I'm sick & tired of being sick & tired/
I'm a one trick pony, acting like a unicorn/
I can't act, but they all play along/
Until I crash; I have no equilibrium/
And no-one can fall quite like me/
Look Mom, no parachute - I'm skydiving/
When I get down, it all comes up/
Like digging all the way to China/

I've lost fingernails since I've started to dig again/
I should know better; I feel like such a hypocrite/
The village idiot, a sellout *******/
If only you knew what I did... yesterday/
And loneliness will make you a victim/
I put the gun to my head, but you pulled the trigger/
Zombie; take another shot at me/
Fullmetal Alchemist, turn bullets into body armor/

FUNCRUSHER, BAD GUY, FUNDAMENTALIST/
NOT SCARFACE; PALESTINIAN SCARF FACE/
FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST/
TURN BULLETS INTO BODY ARMOR/

I'd **** for a breather, die from pollution/
Catch 22; unstuck in time/
Loops within loops... deja vu everything/
Given another chance, I'd fail yet again/
Ad nauseam; subtract annoyances/
I'm sick of your voice, stop talking/
There is no peace.../
In this skull; people in my grill/
And my sense of self keeps on mutating/
Boss level stress/
It will end, just not when you want it to/

FUNCRUSHER, BAD GUY, FUNDAMENTALIST/
NOT SCARFACE; PALESTINIAN SCARF FACE/
FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST/
TURN BULLETS INTO BODY ARMOR./

My favorite color is green.

It has been since I first discovered how lively the shade could be.

My favorite character of all time in anything ever is Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist.

His determination and short-lived angry outbursts will always mean something to me.

My favorite animal character is Simba from the Lion King, or Kovu from the second one.

My favorite book is a tie between To **** a Mockingbird by Harper Lee and Dracula by Bram Stoker.

My favorite poet is T.S. Eliot, my favorite poem by him is The Hollow Men.

My favorite poem is by Charles Bukowski. It's called Bluebird.

Bukowski speaks to me because he's a sarcastic **** that's seen way too much, and everything he writes is practically satire on how human behavior is selfish but beautiful.

My favorite work of Edgar Allen Poe's is the Black Cat.

I despise all works of Robert Frost's besides "Nothing Gold Can Stay", mainly because I disagree with him. Sometimes gold can stay.

Peculiar and Juxtaposition are my favorite words.

I'm excellent at certain subjects (science, Literature) and horrible at others (math, history). I love science because I'm illogical and creative but vividly clear at all points in time. I am horrible at history because I get angry that so many people were hurt.

My favorite war in American history to learn about was the Civil War, because there are so many things we are unsure of. I have a three thousand page encyclopedia on it at my foster parents house.

My favorite tea is green jasmine tea with two and half teaspoonfuls of sugar for every eight ounces.

I count yellow cars, and then have vivid flashbacks to things I don't want to remember.

I have tiny routines that root from obsessive compulsive behaviors that come with being Bipolar. I have manic depressive disorder, to be specific.

When I hold hands with someone, my wrist needs to be behind theirs. I like feeling small and safe, and I'm childish when I feel safe.

I hate being called small or being treated like a child. I have a height complex, because I am small. I also have a hero complex. I want to protect people.

My favorite food right now is probably the katsu chicken one of my best friends made one night when I hadn't eaten for over forty eight hours.

I only eat instant ramen if I can make it spicy, but only the chicken one because the shrimp one always makes me sick.

Apple cider is my favorite winter drink.

My favorite writing platform is a chalkboard or pavement.

My favorite writing utensil are either chalk markers or chalk itself.

I count down the minutes until good things happen.

I take a kind of relaxation after the headache after I cry too hard passes. The relief is beautiful.

I laugh a lot, yell a lot, and cry a lot.

When I feel too strong an emotion, positive or negative, I yell. I don't always have the best control of my volume, seeing as I'm usually very quiet.

I try to manage money and time but I'm horrible at both.

I cry when I'm happy and sad and angry because I feel too much too often.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Name a thing, I bet I can make it bad.

"If" is my least favorite word.

I don't generally say things unless I am 100% certain, because I can never be 100% in anything else.

I have PTSD.

My favorite coping skill is writing, baking, or holding a stuffed animal. Pillows don't count.

I used to carry dolls wherever I went because I was of the mindset "***** what everyone else thinks, I need to feel safe."

I don't always feel secure, but safe is a start.

I've learned I am a better person
Than I've thought.

So I think of my favorite things,
And think "If these are the parts of me
That make up who I am,
Then I cannot be so bad."

Twin towers built in stone and steel,
birds fly gleely, these skyscrapers
envying men in their four-wheel
In awe they come; soon, they disperse.

The skyscrapers soon met their fall
from fullmetal birds that hit them.
Crashing, crumbling like Berlin Wall,
United they stood, now the ******.

Now, they met their last communion,
all of West weeps; I watched them weep.
There comes... a death of a union:
There comes love, now fallen asleep.

I've made mistakes
3 to be exact
A heart made stronger by pain
I have to endure

But if I can walk away from this
I'll find that I have a heart capable of overcoming anything

A heart made fullmetal

Do we really exist in the world?
Or are we just a part of another reality.
Just like what Rick and Morty was travelling through.
Like what the Fullmetal Alchemist discovered.
The other side of the gate.
What if we die now?
Do we continue living in the other world?
Or do we die in all the alternate universe?
Do we get a second chance in living?
Do we get the chance to say goodbye to those who we are afraid to leave behind?
How easy will it be?
How hard will it go?

Are we living in the ultimate reality where
it is easier to break hearts than to love?
where it is easier to steal than to gain something?
where it is easier to run away than stay and fight for it.

What it in the other side,
there is more happiness than this?
what if it does not require drugs to laugh our ***** off.
what if in the other side, it does not require violence to get through peace.

Is this why they have forbid us to commit suicide before its our time, because they forbid us to know the truth behind all of this and we are still not needed in the other universe where we are still kicking and breathing?

They say everything has its purpose.

Do you know yours?

A metal brother
And a Fullmetal brother figuring out who is the rock
Found a cursed philosopher's stone exploiting their weakness
When they looked at the research
The search ended at the penchant for humanness
Riddles are made by geniuses cryptic enough to code them for the curious collector

Freespeech is cheaptalk/
Doublestandard issue/
Hit you with a brick, but/
Walls don't listen... only bugs/

Living in dystopia/
Ironfisted brokenheart/
Fullmetal alchemist/
Turn bullets into armor/

Armageddon in the atmosphere/
Cracks in the waterworks/
Sand in the concrete/
Gats at the borderline/

Lines on my face/
Inflation in the grocery store/
Deflated by default/
Demoralizing social norms/

I've fallen a thousand times/
Probably fall a thousand more/
Hands in my pockets/
Peacesign out of order, man/

If justice is the question/
Then war is the answer/
Divide and conquer/
Enslave their wives & daughters/

They do it everyday/
Via MK-ULTRA/
Unplug yourself before/
Uprise of the robots/

Accidents don't happen/
Nanotechnologies/
Microscopic microphones/
Cyclops still watching me/

Problematic doctors/
Pushing population control/
They claim you have a choice/
Until you say NO./