I often wonder if I need a therapist

They tell you what is the right thing to do
Hopefully then you'll feel better

But every second of my life a voice holds that job for me
Every second it tells me to do this, and to stop that

I'm tired, tired of being my own therapist
Especially since I'm such a ****** one

Sure I know what the right thing to do is, but what I don't understand is my capacity to do those things

I constantly help my friends because one day I hope they can help me
But they can't

It's not their fault of course, none of us are professionals
Heck I doubt I'm helping them either given my repertoire


But still this voice is endless, and loud
My head is spinning and I'm crying
It tries to calm me down but even it knows it's no substitute for another voice

Love is a theme in my life, something I'm always looking for.
I may not have high standards but I have an idea in my mind, or rather I did

See the only thing I want from love now is someone who can replace the voice in my head.

Call me pretty when I feel like a girl
Call me handsome when I feel like a guy
Call me theirs when I feel unloved

Call me a rose when I'm so obviously not

Helping me look in the mirror when I can't bear to do so
Sacrificing their time because they know I would too

Maybe it is a lot
Maybe it's not

But those are the prerequisites for being the voice in my head

There's a warmth on your back
And an idea on your mind
As you fall into the lake, and eventually sink
Sink into this world of yours

Where reality has no bearing
And you have all the freedom you can imagine
Where the consequences haven't reached you
And the rewards are endless

Where your heart can finally be one
And not broken into a million pieces

A dream where dreamers finally find meaning in their existence

A place where I'm not tethered to hope
A place where I have everything

A place where I finally have you by my side
Smiling and holding me

A place where I see your eyes
Watching over me

A place where I feel your warmth
Keeping me away from the cold

A place where love with you
Seems possible


But I wake up, with a full heart
Full of hope that this dream will come into fruition

That this dream will grow into a most beautiful flower

A sunflower shining it's light onto me
with a smile I can only dream of...

The sand on my feet rubs against the towel
A towel, on a beach, 2 miles from where we were staying

I can't help but notice the sun, no not you silly, but the sun in the distance
Melting into the ocean scattering it's aura across the sky

I could stare at it for hours but it seems like you brought me here for something else

You open our picnic basket and pull out a bottle of wine
The purple elixir flowed into the glass tinted with the sun's last bit of life

"I'd like to sing you a song, if you'd like?"

"Of course I would"

And a song he sang

The wind joined in the festivities helping the grass sway to my darling's voice.
The seagulls all became silent to allow this performance of love to go smoothly
And the ocean rolled in and out harmoniously with his song.

The melting sun froze it's retirement for just one moment, so I could see just how bright he really was.

The song ended, and he gave me a grin

"How'd you like it"

But I couldn't respond
They're were too many tears rolling down my cheek

But I had to show my gratitude somehow

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled in his general direction

And in return, he gave me a ring with the promise of love for a lifetime

It's half past 10
And the stars have never been brighter
And yet here you are
Lighting a ******* fire

And blocking my view of this terrific sight
Eclipsing the stars with all your light

It's half past 5
And the sun's rising
And yet your playing in the ocean
Which I find unsurprising

Distracting me from the sun, a sight worthwhile
With your calm, comforting, most beautiful smile

It's half past 1
And the trees are dancing
And yet here you are interrupting them
With your romancing

Covering my eyes from the clear blue sky
Kissing me on the lips, oh how I could just die

It's half past 10
And the stars have never been so dim
And yet you're not here
When did life get so grim

The plentiful stars now seem to be fading
God I wish we were more than just dating


It's half past 5
And the sun's rising
And yet you're not here
Which I find surprising

The sun seems to have froze
I really need to just propose

It's half past 1
And the trees are tired
And yet you're not here
The one I most desire

The birds now chirp less
I think it's time to confess

It's half past 10
All but one star is left
And yet you're here
committing a most heinous theft

You've stolen my sight, my lips, and most  importantly my heart
But still there's a question I must ask -
Would you love me through hardships, through Mondays, and till death do us apart?

Up until now I was comfortable with who I am
An average looking guy with impeccable taste

What if I was a girl?
What would change?

Would it be better than now?
Or would it just be strange

I'm tired of not knowing
Wondering and dreaming

Because reality hits me in the chin
As I wake up looking at the ceiling

I just want to be a cute girl
With my personality intact

Not this manly figure
Who knows what he is a fact

So I sigh and look out my window
With a tree flowing in the wind
Stretching out to the clear blue sky
Carrying a warm grin

I smile at the sight, as I often do
Dream about being a tree dancing in the wind
Dancing in the wind with you

A tree with no dreams, but a tree with happiness nonetheless

A tree in the snow, on a hill, touching the sky...

right next to my desk

They always said having a big heart was good
I beg to differ

It's terrible

Feelings happen faster
Pain hurts more
And dead love lasts longer

I am a hopeless romantic
And I am ashamed to admit it
While others admit they are too
They really don't understand

It's not longing love, it's obsessing over it
It's not feeling sad, it's feeling desperate

For someone who idealizes love above else, a hopeless romantic is willing to lower all their standards for a taste

Ask a friend if they have a type, a hopeless romantic won't
They've been alone for so long, that just the sight of love would be enough

And it's not something they can control, I fight it everyday
I have dreams of going to the stars
I have worries, homework, hobbies.
I have so many other things in my life

But yet every waking moment of my existence I think of it
It clouds every other motive in my life, lowering my ambitions and killing my happiness

Love is not what it used to be
It's a crutch
A disease
And I hate it

I hate it

I dreamt of a guy
He was bright, cheerful, as pretty as the moon
I met him at school and we started to talk

We laughed
We flirted
and then we eventually kissed

But at that moment he left
and you came back

I pushed you away, why do you keep coming back
I regret it, why can't I forget it

I just want to dream in happiness
But not even my mind is safe

What do I do?

I keep thinking what I did wrong
I keep thinking what I could have done better
I keep thinking of a different reality
One where you and I actually happened

I'm sorry

I know you don't want this
But I can't control how I'm feeling, how I'm thinking

and how I'm dreaming

I thought of a girl
She was confident, thoughtful, and a smile as bright as the sun
I met her at school and we started to talk

We laughed
We flirted
And we eventually kissed

But she, like all figments of my imagination, left
And you came back

What do I do
What do I do
What do I do






What can I do?