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Already the month
     of August 2018,
     May never become
     a je June'm
     (Forget-me-not)
     time of year,
especially for nouveau
     homeless and,

     penniless residents,
     (now more like worrier),
     who reside in the
     (burnt to a crisp)
     Golden State where,
towering uncontrollable
     wild fire infernos veer
really did tax mental,

     physical, and spiritual
     oye vey iz mare (to
     the bajillion power
     of Google Plex) their
heirlooms, mementos,
     and trappings of
     das kapital lifestyle
     went up in smoke,

     which tragedy didst seer
the eyes (yes, iz traumatic,
     but also the air)
     looms with toxic
     particulate matter,
     though concerned former
     propertied owners
     (now ashen faced)

     as utter grief doth rear
a scorched (bumping) ugly head,
     yet the onset of Autumn,
     (and the main
purport of this poem)
     (oh my dog, that twill be
     in approximately three weeks,
when Eastern Orthodox Church

     denotes beginning of ecclesiastical
     annum mull house
     for straight or queer
(these times opening
     doors to LGBT, or GLBT
     (an initialism that
     stands for lesbian,
     gay, bisexual, and transgender),

     nonetheless history
     replete with app pear
chock full of factoids such as:
     September (Latin septem,
     "seven") with near
exhaustive steeped in
     pagan glory of antiquity.

Ancient Roman observances
for September include:
Ludi Romani, originally celebrated
September 12 - September 14,

later extended to
September 5 to September 19.
In 1st century BC, an extra day added
in honor of deified
Julius Caesar on 4 September.

Epulum Jovis held: September 13.
Ludi Triumphales held: September 18–22.
Septimontium celebrated September, and
December 11 on later calendars

September called "harvest month"
in Charlemagne's calendar.
September corresponds partly to
Fructidor and partly to Vendémiaire

of first French republic.
On Usenet, September 1993
(Eternal September) never ended.
September called Herbstmonat,
harvest month, in Switzerland.

The Anglo-Saxons called
month Gerstmonath,
barley month, that crop
then usually harvested.
Despite being atheist,
with serpent teen eyes,
I would nonetheless bet
Eve fen number guys
named Adam, or gals noel lies
(christened) dollars to donuts
(Dunkin and/or otherwise)
Jesus would be mighty pleased
to know, his sir name
linkedin with commercial ties,

no matter, he might not garner rise
zen percentage of profits, no matter spies
infiltrate competition especially if he
unwittingly gets trampled and cries
amidst chaos (think euthanize)
untimely death by madding wise
flash mob crowd source realize
last seconds rushing to snap up
latest jamb door prize
as venders resort to all

manner of (subliminally
manipulative) marketing techniques
to lure patrons, (especially
photo opportunities with
one of the many
"FAKE" donned Santa

Claus), the latter,
who would lionize
their son(s) and/or apprise
daughter(s), subsequently
guaranteeing, nailing crosswise,
and clinching safeguards exercise
immunization against the Grinch
sure fire way to manure er... fertilize

guarantee future generations rise
zing will become avid consumers,
who reverently, obsequiously,
and devoutly idolize
supporting the apostles who revolutionize
creative commercialization to capitalize
nearly every Cyber Monday
occasion to finalize
(all sales) pennies on the dollar,
where merchants feign

going for broke, and capitalize
eulogize, and idealize
the mighty buck staging "FAKE"
news worthy shoppers to burst into tears
crying on command,
and all manner of pathos
pulling ploys nsync king
"shameful guilt" that squares
with being ostracized,
hash-tagged, and demonized Scrooge.
Emma Liang Nov 2010
he was the kind of beautiful he would never admit to himself or to anyone else, the kind nobody else would ever mention to him in passing. you wouldn't really notice it, either, but you kind of knew it too, deep inside where you kept your most precious secrets, and you would only know anyways if you took the time to look into his face and study those eyes, and oh! oh, those creases by the side of his mouth because he was always, always laughing, even when he was mad he was laughing, like he was born into this world to be happy, born to be so much freakin’ happier than everybody else that for a second, you want something, you want what he has, but you don’t really know what it is.

and he has brown eyes, most definitely brown eyes, except they're so much more than just brown eyes it feels wrong to say just ‘brown’. a bajillion gajillion people have brown eyes, but his, they hold so much and they mean so much more- they're empty and they're deep and they hold so much promise, like a locked diary that you once had the keys to but lost so much years ago you can’t even count them on your fingers, and she can see so many colors in them- purple, golden-blue-ish colors with pink tints like the sky before a sunrise which aren't very manly colors, so you keep your mouth shut.

he was that kind of beautiful. the kind with chestnut-brown hair, except darker than that, except not really chestnut- it was warmer than that, really, and darker than that too, like the kind of gooey-warm-piping-hot melting mess of a marshmallow over a fire, the kind that burns your fingertips and leaves black stains on your jeans but melts perfectly in your mouth, except marshmallows aren't brown by any stretch of the imagination, and that's the feeling you know no one else would understand- so you keep it to yourself.

and if she ever told anyone, they would think- "oh. another giggling girl going after the basketball ****." that’s all they would think, she could see it in their faces they were thinking that, but she doesn't say anything because what if she's wrong? what if they're thinking about how strange she looked, or what was for lunch, or how long chemistry homework will take them, so she swallows her words because she knows they don't know

that he's really his kind of beautiful, not that kind of beautiful that people say only when they're trying to say ugly in a kinder way, but really, truly, his own kind of beautiful,

and

now you know exactly what you want.
You guys know what I'm talking about, right? :-P
My ears are tingling
from the barrage of dyslexic sounds
and my hair is curling as fast as
any olympic event

I can't pay attention either
It all just drifts by
invisably swept in the
seawave current

Nothing else matters
Does it
Because my legs twitch
anyway

And it spreads with infection
Giggling like a gaggle of geese
or girls
to peak the top
of the end of
the bungee rope

Sweeping fans clear the cobwebs
full of the captive sunbeams
in the rafters in the closets
the minds of the mimes

Petering out
to Only a tri kle
A pleasure of peaking
and swifting being overwhelmed
by the black hole of the past
turning the world inside out

Falls
That's what it All does
Then crystallizes
into a thousand twenty bajillion four
morsels of careless color
Shining and gleaming spotlights

Tantalizing the eyes
of silly maskéd
prisoners
Turning them on
tremendously

but it all grays
to mud all the colors
in a palette make gray
You knew that
when you were a child

So pick up the paintbrush
   and follow the directions
by the people who cared
enough to invent
a color by number
So easy and convenient

Even never in your wildest
dreams could
You imagine
ht  May 2018
Maybe, probably
ht May 2018
There's popcorn on the ceiling,
a million bajillion clusters that I've spent days trying to count.
In the 1950's these ceilings exploded into popularity.
And until 1977, homeowners blasted asbestos covered popcorn toward the sky, letting mesothelioma fibers fall back to their floor like it was harmless dust.
I take a deep breath, letting the air settle deep in my chest before letting it back out.
My ceiling is probably not made of asbestos.
It's probably styrofoam or some other cheap, paper-based product.
I take another deep breath.
The EPA banned the use of asbestos in these ceilings.
Apparently, inhaled in large quantities, asbestos causes lung disease, lung scarring, and lung cancer.
Another deep, deep breath.
I continue counting the probably not cancer causing popcorn.
I wonder if I would be able to feel the particles swimming in my lungs like fiber glass–thin, delicate, sharp.
I wonder if it would **** me.
I wonder if my family would file a claim like you see on those old commercials screaming,
"If you or a loved one developed mesothelioma you, yes you, could be entitled to compensation."
Or, something like that.
Breathe.
The air tastes funny.
My ceiling is most likely not made of asbestos.
But, I probably wouldn't care if it was.
I went down a weird internet spiral and now I know a lot about different kinds of ceilings | h.t.
Disaster Child Jan 2014
I cannot but put words to the sight before me
A best friend, sleeping safe in my comfort
There is nothing like it
No words will ever describe
The peace I see
The safe she feels
To rest in my presence
To trust me watching over her
To dream quietly
Her gentle breathing
Her twitching smile
Her serenity is visible
A woman places her confidence in a man
Trusts him to look over and keep her safe
And even from fifty-bajillion miles
She believes me to be doing just that

I love you best friend, sleep well knowing
When your eyes flutter open
I’ll be the first sight you see
Never leaving while you sleep or wake
sam i yam not,
     nor will this 'lo bot go away
cuz, every coordinate in cyber space allows,
     enables and provides
     an opportunity to bray,

and thence get access
     to each excel lent power full point
     one among the beguiling bajillion,
thus this ming boggling concept proffers

     (even the generic mom and pop hacker
     tubby in her/his element field gloating
     as if they won
     the Irish Sweepstakes that day

despite neither could claim
     direct lineage, sans Emerald Eire
  analogous to Celtic temptress,
     whose grand geography

     beckons toward entranceway,
where sensory, levity,
     and ecstasy punctuate foray
boot that diverges one hundred

      and eighty degrees asper gateway
onrush of spam enters electronic hatchway
spilling forth like
     offal horrific bilge interlay

sloshing violently, revoltingly,
     and nauseatingly, witnessing a jay
bird donning mask (yule hating)
     beak coming contrivance fashioned keyway.

force full brainstorm to firewall
     to place on indefinite layaway
inundation of spam midway
between now and eternity,

     essentially noway
no more, and if necessary
     hermetically seal myself
     stationing a pal in drone willingly overpay!
the warning words website not secure
nearly left writer of these words **** poor.

usually linkedin with ******* websites
lest ye find yourself in the maws of hackers.

generalization utilized to communicate actual
online experience that occurred Wednesday
(August 24th, 2022), while i unwittingly in
the shower lathering up my hair, which inter
lude of relaxation interrupted when the missus
shouted out serious message identification.

yours truly paid steep price courtesy the wife
who ventured forth into seedy webbed world
she zealously, nonchalantly, blithely ventured
into steamy underbelly of fetid depraved beast.

to unlock access to Macbook Pro i grudgingly,
depressingly, angrily forked over five hundred
ninety eight dollars and ninety nine cents pronto
courtesy PayPal to purported vendor/merchant
named Support Desk, which supposed technician
asked me to relinquish control of said laptop in
order to troubleshoot alarming situation regard
ding motley crew jump/kick starting getting my
precious data specifically and most importantly
including banking information allowing, enabling

and providing nasty and brutish cyberpunks to
siphon every last cent painstakingly acquired by
slew of empathetic professional psychological
helpmates (such as george adams, jean dole, elba
dorley, gabe pinkski, paul sacks), who vouchsafed
crippling anxiety afflicted me, which agreed upon
diagnosis schizoid personality disorder qualified
yours truly to receive social security disability, a
dog send to allow, enable, and provide unearned
income to help meet basic costs of livingsocial.

fortunately i did not need to establish gofundme
site, cuz wise mind within mine noggin suspected
unsavory shenanigans after speaking (with con-
siderable agitation) over the telephone with deux
(not good) fellas compounded by language barrier,
who brazenly wrested remote control of aforesaid
computer (courtesy ramping up fear factor) wrought
by unforgiving hackers would wantonly wreak havoc
with mein kampf destroying financial security nsync

ruining OpenOffice poetry and prose documents, and
even though worst case scenario avoided thus far, an
uneasy feeling grips every fiber of mine corporeal,
emotional, and spiritual being, cuz instinctive sixth
sense came to the rescue and touché Matthew Harris
for filing a claim with Citizens bank after above stated
dollar figure posted nipping in bud potential fraudulent
cyber scheme, which one aging long haired pencil
necked geek naive nattering nerdy nabob of negativism
nearly got hoodwinked.
Vast dynamic catalysts
     inaugurated biochemical
     (biological), geological,
     and/or meteorological
     processes, that didst
     wax and wane
since time immemorial
     before this "FAKE"

     pencil neck geek NOT vain
poet law re:hot bubbled
     outa (Compton)
     primordial ah stew,
     (ward) uber urbane,
sans global Pangea some
     bajillion years presaging Ukraine
chiseled terra firmae didst reign

from hydrosphere,
     (setting the stage
     for Matthew Scott
     Harris to markedly twain (train)
his thoughts), wrought variable dramatic,
     epochal geographic upheavals
     (recorded palimpsest like)
     across global terrain

catastrophic, dramatic, epic forces
     rendered prehistoric creatures slain
extinction, though billions of years
     survived Prince sip
     pull purple rain
skill little till lee (skeletally),
     within said dam hint
     (sediment) permanently preserving

     an impress'n quatrain
jam packed with species, some
     of which flew like a
     donny soaring plane
signaled onset and demise
     of supposed pseudonymous
     terrible lizards with bulging eyes
"NON FAKE" special effects,

     but actual - no lies
wooly alive paw lick
     tickly incorrect, tough,
     winning ignoble dangerous prize
huge, out of control, trumpeting,
     who eve vent chilly gave rise
to Adam Abel bodied

     **** sitter ably reduced
     cane raising,
     (yet most fearsome) size
a totally tubularly err wrecked
     primate nada so wise.
eligibility predicated upon mandatory fingerprinting

Courtesy anticipatory anxiety
breeds palmar hyperhidrosis
(i.e. hands adrip
with profuse perspiration)
honest to dog truthfully
most inconvenient malady

holds Earthling (yours truly)
in precarious emotional balance
me silently screaming
against ill fated physiological disorder
also upending prospective
employment ambitions (parttime).

Qualification to acquire said voucher
(essentially to help pay rent)
slips thru slippery fingers (mine),
thus wet out further ado, the extent
I broadcast sweaty plight
less for empathy than to air lament
anyway syndrome already expounded
by garden variety generic gent.

Accursed genetic unpleasant quirk
(vis a vis polyhidrosis)
thwarts virtual, social, and political
(yes folks I sought storied government perch)
ambitions toward gaining traction,

to experience cosmic consciousness,
hence moost every digital,
interpersonal, practical (joking) aspiration
figuratively dashed into
bajillion pieces to no avail.

Even as a wee lad
scores of decades yesteryear
I distinctly remember
abysmal introvertedness where
psychological torture
wracked psyche there
boot for the grace of dog,

this muttering kid felt queer
son of a gun ousted joining foo fighters
as a third musketeer
despite qualifying as rightful heir
thus in the least sought trappings
indicative of very important person
while entombed within recycled bier.

Subsequently, mine lifeless being cremated
ashes scattered to four winds
inert matter repurposed courtesy Gaia
physical earthly dwelling irrelevant

speculation abounds since time immemorial,
what constitutes purpose of existence
a chicken and egg thing
where copulation (pertaining to humans)
triggers hormonal secretion

poised to unsuspecting strike haploid
female reproductive cell, or gamete
if bonafide ***** deed done dirt cheap
attains crowning glory
fertilized **** results

reputedly engendering conception
though uncertainty when nascent embryo
considered greater than inchoate
amalgamation of cells.

Ideally biological processes
merrily humming along
once gestation period complete
viable organism (**** sapien) born
oblivious to nothing else except
except basic needs and wants

until adequate mental,
physical, spiritual development
necessitates progeny to fend for her/himself
wherein adult autonomous species
enroute to secure a place to call their home,
which onerous cost
eased courtesy housing choice voucher.

Aforementioned county program
synonymous with section 8,
though methinks the latter term
evoked non-positive connotation
within mind of prospective landlord.
Gariel  Sep 2013
Untitled
Gariel Sep 2013
Your smile makes my day a bajillion times awesome
Eyes that makes me lost yet happy

I know that you won't like me back
So I just sit down and watch you from afar.
Despite being atheist,
     I would nonetheless bet
     dollars to donuts
     (Dunkin and/or other wise)
Jesus would be mighty pleased
     to know, his sir name
     linkedin with commercial ties
no matter, he might not garner

     a percentage of profits,
     especially if he
     unwittingly gets trampled
     to death by madding
     flash mob crowd source
     rushing to snap up
     latest door prize
as venders resort to all

    manner of (subliminally
     manipulative) marketing techniques
     to lure patrons, (especially
     photo opportunities with
     one of the many
"FAKE" donned Santa
     Claus), the latter,
     who would lionize

their son(s) and/or
     daughter(s), subsequently
     guaranteeing, nailing crosswise,
     and clinching safeguards
      immunizing against the Grinch
a sure fire way to
     guarantee future generations
     will become avid consumers,

     who reverently, obsequiously,
     and devoutly idolize
supporting the apostles
     of commercialization
     nearly every
     occasion to finalize (all sales)
pennies on the dollar,
     where merchants feign

     going for broke, and capitalize
eulogize, and idealize
the mighty buck
staging "FAKE"
     news worthy shoppers
     to burst into tears
crying on command,

    and all manner of pathos
     pulling ploys nsync king
     "shameful guilt" that squares
with being ostracized, hash-tagged,
     and demonized Scrooge.
heebie jeebies couple months before March 15th, 2020

More'n three hundred and sixty six days ago,
a pandemic did devastatingly blow
across the webbed wide world
dark shadows spelled glow
bull horror seeds of hell show
did terrify **** sapiens  
with unimaginable woe.

I revisited the following poem crafted last year
so little known about the when, why and where
concerning then Doomsday scenario unleashed
accept my humble apology if message unclear
giving reasonable rhyme details just threadbare

bard lacks scientific penchant I honestly swear
appalling attempt at writing trademark metered
poetic endeavor doth not lessen how ye revere
yours truly who would be amenable to answer
personal response, thus email me questionnaire.

Aye reckon eyes aforementioned microscopic organism
doth strain credulity threatening **** sapiens left agog
stupefied, whereby mortality of species existential crisis
pitted against unseen rapacious (non public) enemy glow

bull diabolic scourge plaguing world wide web humbling
**** sapiens arrogance, bombast, ecocentrism... fueling
outrageous mortal kombat concerning toilet tissue to stave
virulent pathogen wreak havoc across webbed wide world
immune systems entire bajillion complex edifices, (albeit -

biochemical, deoxyribonucleic, fantastical, helical, Judaic/
Christian, liturgical, neurophysiological, pathological, ollie
ollie oxen free radical, typical, virological, xylographical -
zoogeographical aerodynamical, critical, elliptical, genii
logical, ad nauseum) metaphorical house of straw knocked

(knick knack paddy whack...) upside the head obliterating
(one fell swoop) - fast as greased lightning defenceless ill
prepared immune systems rendering bipedal hominids law
n gevity (courtesy hiphop wordsmith Kanye West) basically
electric kool-aid acid test corroborating, galvanizing, plus

liberating riotous yawping, capitalistic, horrific, narcissistic...
aforementioned poetically licensed entitled germ cells, yours
truly suspects Mike rowed the boat ashore compromising rug
harding infecting taster's choice mortal human flesh, a fancy
feast inferred courtesy Sikh's six sense (mine), where spreads

trumpeting, kickstarting, and hooting virulent bugaboos flu -
went within ways and means of contaminating, infecting, and
orchestrating pandemic veritable microcosmic beastie boys foo
fighting (linkedin) twittering... figuratively and literally bring
***** simians to their knees (knobby in my case) maneuvering

offensive (salient parry and ******) undermining physical health
among village people (think - human league) field day nabbed
(dagnabit) vulnerability, susceptibility, and quintessentially awk
wiring advantageous edge, whereby wreaking havoc across avast
global swath temporarily forcing twenty first civilization braking

(fast) bringing living social muckraking and mudslinging species
(envision) bajillion people suddenly deprived of cherished helter
skelter hubbub devoid (car own nah fiat issued without warning)
mandating swarming multitudes against buzzfeeding capital one
good n plenti frenzied madcap lifestyles necessitating, quickening
uber vicissitudes (zero sum game) witnessed by level playing field.

— The End —