I'm scared of just about everything.

I'm scared of spiders, they have too many limbs and too many eyes and it makes my skin crawl.
Though I stopped admitting it years ago, I am scared of the dark. When the lights turn off and the sun goes down the idea of being alone with no idea of what is around me gives me goosebumps.
I'm scared of being hurt, even though I am always the one who ends up breaking hearts.
However much I ignore it, I am scared of silence. That complete soundless ringing that fills my head and whisks up my thoughts makes me uncomfortable in ways I cannot describe with words.
I'm scared of getting lost, because even though I want to be spontaneous like the cool girls in the movies the idea of not knowing where I am terrifies me.
Despite everything life has thrown at me, I am scared of being myself. I have a million alter egos and personalities stored in my head because the reality of who I am makes me sick.
I'm scared of outer space, and how one little push can send you floating into the unknown without ever stopping.
Unsurprisingly, I am scared of my mother dying. Through thick and thin she supports me and to this day her warth gives me life in ways nothing else does.
I'm scared of the ocean, because even though I love fish I cannot stand not being aware of what is beneath me as I paddle on the surface.
In a sick and ironic way, I am scared of dying. Despite my wishes for death and suicide attempts, when I am in a dangerous situation my stomach clenches and I cling to the life I have.

I'm scared of just about everything,
including fear itself.

Wash me off your skin before you sin.
For your face will tell it all if ever you should lie down with him.
Wolves will morn as the blackened sky is torn, and pour out a warth if you should ever let him pass.
Pleasurable things can sting and hearts can deceive the mind, making it believe that we need a stranger in our beds to keep us warm at night.
And I'll be the one with chills on my skin if ever you let him in.
Even your body will reject, knowing that we were more than just our flesh.
You'd be causing the cracks if you're ever in the act, they'll appear on my heart just to know that you gave up all hope and our souls will drift apart.
I'm not one for collecting so I'll keep this vessel clean, in hopes that one day you'll wake up and feel and know how you're the only one for me.
A curse you'll put upon whomever you look in the eyes that isn't me, and time will tell the truth, that you let him in only to realize you're still so empty.
But if you still choose to proceed, first, wash me off of your skin.
So that the heavens do not cry from such an abominable sin.